How do I get this marriage turned around?

Question

My husband and I are on the fast track to divorce. We fight all the time, he blames his temper tantrums (that he has had all his life) on me...according to him he wouldn't have a temper problem if it wasn't for my bitching. These fights have made my house very hostile at times and I can't take it anymore, for my kid's sake. Here is the thing. He doesn't want a divorce. We really can't afford to get counseling or anger management classes for him...Also, for my kids sake (he really isn't a bad dad, just a bad husband) and for monetary reasons I don't want to get divorced either. We still have the same goals in life, still enjoy the same food, and common interests. We have no time for dating anymore because of our children. Also, I put on 17 extra pounds since our last baby, and I haven't been able to take it off, so he doesn't want to have sex anymore because he says he has never liked fat-a##es. I don't think that is it....I just think we fight too much.

Answer 1

okay, this man should never call you names. my ex use to all the time, we would fight all the time and he would turn around and say he didnt want a divorce. i soon relized that i had to make a change, i have to kids of my known with him, i finally got out of it. now in my new marriage i have found that starting hobbies together has helped. it may be a odd thing but we collect football cards together. we sit for hours opening old and new boxes of cards we enjoy it so much. now im not saying you should start collecting football cards, but you need to find a common ground for each other. sit and talk this out, say, "if you want to be with me then this has to stop. we must make a effort for us and our children to make things better." then dicuss somethings you can do together at home. no tv, you wont talk to each other. thats is why i like the hobbies, it force the two of you to talk to each other. now the weight issue, i understand that, like i said i have two of my own. you need find time for yourself to workout. this will help your morale the most. i hope this helped a lil.

Answer 2

There is so much drama in your home. It is not good to fight with each other while you have kids to take care of. In order to take care of them, you first need to take care of the problems with your husband and you. I don't think it will make him feel better by you nagging at him about his anger. You need to find ways to help him deal with it. He should try going for a walk or taking up some type of exercise to take his mind off things. Sometimes stress can lead to anger. But, this is his choice that he chooses to get anger rather than controlling it. He needs to control his anger before it controls him! Anger can lead to stress, which is not healthy at all. Let him know that. You need to be more supportive in him.

You can also do some walking to get the exercise you need. If have pair of sneakers laying around, put them on and take some walks like 4 times each morning or evening. Take the kids with you to make it a family time together. Or, take your husband along too, so he can get out of the house.

If you think you fight too much, where do you think the kids will learn their behavior from? You and your husband! I am sure you don't want that at all, because you and your husband are 'suppose' be their examples.

So if you two are really serious in staying married and if you don't want to spend a huge amount of money for counseling, then I would consider on getting these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" both by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She also has a talk radio show and you can listen to all the people who call with their problems and she gives them advice. Or you can visit her website at www.drlaura.com Forgot to mention this to help with his anger problem, he can get this book to read called, "Bad Childhood, Good Life". Really great book!

Do this for the sake of the kids, because if you two fail them, they will suffer from the mistakes that you two have made.

So, start acting like a wife to your husband, when he gets angry, go and hug him. Don't add fuel to the fire! He needs appreciation, respect, and love from you. That is how things will start happening for the better. You guys can do it! (smile)

Answer 3

i think of that's actual, and the referendum in North Carolina pushed him over to the different section. That regulation did not only ban gay marriage yet outlawed and rescinded any and all criminal attractiveness or risk-free practices for any family individuals not certain by classic marriage and then reserved classic marriage to in basic terms those they decide worth. That proves that their time table isn't approximately conserving marriage and families - yet insuring 2d type citizenship for those they dislike. that's grew to become into specifically approximately enforced inequality interior the regulation. The president is sworn to uphold the form. He might desire to plausibly try this and be against gay marriage with the thought a civil union might desire to be the criminal equivalent. the folk of North Carolina took civil unions off the table as a treatment for inequality - simply by fact inequality is what they're attempting to maintain. That left the President (and all honest minded human beings) with out place left to flow yet finished marriage equality.

Answer 4

Don't ask him to change.. you change. Start living the life you want within the marriage. (obviously you are not happy or those baby pounds would have melted away) Stop nagging ( do it yourself, have it done or let it be). So what if you don't have time to "date", who would want to date such a man anyways.(or have sex with him) Plan things with your kids and leave him behind if he doesn't want to come or is a pain in the butt if he tags along. Take up a hobby or take a class that you like. Learn to take care of yourself (for your kids sake if not for yourself.) It is amazing but when us wives's start acting like we don't give a rats *** about our husbands, they perk up and take notice. Good luck

Answer 5

Why would you want to stay in a loveless relationship and have your children not only grow up thinking that is ok but walking on egg shells?
I don't understand?
Don't you think you deserve respect? happiness? Do you want your children to grow up thinking that they to have to live in misery like you for those same reasons? Wouldn't you want more for your children?
There are free to low cost counseling if your insurance don't cover it, contact your local welfare agency and they have numbers for counseling offered to low income families.
It's either see a marriage counselor or divorce or your setting your children up to the same unhappiness and unhealthly relationships in life.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Hi I read what you said and remember this book at this web site https://secure2.convio.net/cclo/site/Ecommerce/127674565?VIEW_PRODUCT=true&product_id=1944&store_id=1301 I am sure you can also find it in stores too if you do not want to buy it off of this website but if you are really sereus about fixing your marriage and really want to fix it I think you should get this book and it is only $10 so its not like it will cost you much to get the book I think it is worth a shot to get this book if you are really willing to work at it I hope this helps and I hope you all the best in fixing your marriage

Answer 7

It sounds like your miserable, he's miserable and your kid is miserable!

For the sale of all concerned, get divorced, please!

Do it quick, cheap and amicable - so you two can go on, have seperate lives and be able to work together to raise your kid without having to live together and constantly fight!

Answer 8

You'de only have to call me a fat a## once and I'd be gone in a heart beat. That is so disrespectful and why would you subject yourself to that? Leave him.