Pregnency at age 13?????

Question

I'm not pregnent but my friend is.

She is only 13! I am scared for her...what kind of advice should i give her?

She refuses to get an abortion!!!HELP?!?!

Answer 1

Be supportive! I'm sure that she is freaked out. But there are lots of families who would adopt if she or her family cannot take care of the baby.

Answer 2

Get help from a stable adult. Someone who can discuss this with your friend and show her she is not ready to be a parent at 13. ask the adult to help you find someone who had a child when they were 13 and tell her honestly what happened to them in their lives. Help her to see that she can't possibly give this baby a good life at her age, and that if she truly loves this baby and wants to be a good mother she will do the selfless act of allowing a family to adopt this child, and raise the child in a home, with parents who love and adore the child, and can provide the type of life she can't.

Answer 3

You are not qualified to give her any advice. Just be there for her. No matter what she decides to do, tell her it is a good choice and that you support her. That's the best thing you can do. Everything is going to change for her and she needs a friend.

Make sure she tells her parents of course.

Answer 4

Her parents need to know. You can look up a few telephone numbers to crisis pregnancy centers. They will help her talk to her family, get on WIC to help with her health and nutrition, help her get a doctor and give her a lot of resources. Then, just be there to listen to her and support her in this scary time. Main thing she needs to do is tell her parents.

Answer 5

She shouldn't get an abortion if she doesn't want one. The worst thing you can do is tell someone who is scared and worried that they need to get one.
Parents, counselors, somebody (AN ADULT) needs to know about this so that THEY can get her the proper resources she needs.
At your age, all you should be telling her is that you support her and love her very much.

Answer 6

sorry, but i don't have much advice for a 13 yr. old as she is still a baby herself... but, i will say that abortion IS NOT the answer...
were u a friend to her b4 she got pregnant? if so, u should have tried talking her out of the sex issue in the 1st place....
PRAY and ask that GOD's will be done. if she does'nt want the baby, there is PLENTY of MARRIED couple of here that would love to take care and provide for the baby.

Answer 7

Remind her that it won't just stress her but also her family and friends, she is going to have to set time aside from going to the mall with her friends and the movies and her parents will have to raise both of them.

Answer 8

She must tell someone soon, like a teacher or school nurse(if you have them there)or a family member, aunt or grandmother, that's if she can't bring herself to tell her mum.
Do you have a kids help line there? I guess you are in America.

Answer 9

At some point her parents/guardian are going to HAVE to know. And, they are going TO know, even if she says nothing. She needs to tell them bc they will need to help plan what will happen next if she refuses to terminate the pregnancy.

Also, she needs to carefully review in advance just what kind of response she may/will get from her family when they find out about the pregnancy.

If she fears at all that they will hurt her in any way for being pregnant, then she needs to plan in advance for this as well with a safe place to go/live. She needs to have a minister present, have the mom of a friend present when she tells them, have another mom tell the parents without your friend being present, have the doctor tell the family, etc.

For now she can go, even on her own, to Planned Parenthood who will review with her all of her other alternatives and options about continuing with her pregnancy since that is what she wants to do, including adoption or keeping the baby. They can help identify other agencies in her community that will (ethically) help her in keeping the baby or pursuing adoption.

If she THINKS (even a little bit) that she wants to keep and raise the baby, then she has a lot of pre-planning to do regarding:

--Child support from the father or the father's family if he is underage.

--Jail time for the father if he is 18 and older AND THEN his paying child support.

--Finishing her education and graduating. How will she go to college if she really wants to?, etc. When she graduates, what kind of job will she be able to get to help supprot herself and her baby and how low will the pay be? Will she be able to cover her expenses and the baby's? Will her family help at all, financially, with childcare, transportation, etc.

She's going to need her family and friends like you to help her through this. At her incredibly young age, NONE of this is going to be easy or simple. Not even for a New York minute.

Finally, believe it or not, this is absolutely THE TIME for someone (especially Planned Parenthood) to talk to her about birth control--what it is, how various methods work, what method she wants to use--even if she says she's never going to look at another guy again.

I wouldn't be surprised if at her age she really has little to no clue as to how her body works. And, truly, she has no idea of what all she does not know--about her body. about babies. and about sex itself.

I wouldn't be surprised if the guy she was with convinced her that:

--He was "sterile" and couldn't get her pregnant;
--She couldn't get pregnant if he "didn't put it in all the way";
--She couldn't get pregnant if she drank a large glass of milk or soda or water or...or...or...;
--She (AND more importantly HE) wouldn't enjoy sex very much if they used a condom;

Yes. someone knowledgeable needs to have this birth control conversation with her RIGHT NOW and to make sure that she understands the consequences of her choices, actions, and inaction.

She also needs very badly to be checked for HIV and hepatitis.

Please don't let her delay.

Good luck.

Answer 10

you MUST tell her parents. She is way too young to be having sex let alone having a baby. I am anti abortion, but in this case, she is extremely young. Her parents MUST be told....she cannot go thru this alone.....if u are a true friend, you will tell her parents or get her to tell them....