How do I tell my mom that her son is genderqueer?

Question

So, how do I tell my mom that her son is genderqueer (Gender Fluid, to be more specific) and prefers to wear a skirt?

I'm a mix of masculine and feminine. I was born male, and plan to keep my male parts.
The skirts I refer to are ankle length, I don't feel the need to show off. Not anything that SCREAMS girly. Comfortable and subtle is what I'm going for.

Knight, you're either a complete moron, or just insane. First off, I'm not homosexual, I'm pan-curious. Second, my gender ID and sexual orientation are two completely different things, you simple, closed-minded person.

Oh, and whoever it was that said something about sucking a golf ball through a garden hose. No thanks, I wouldn't want to take away your weekend entertainment.

Answer 1

I assume you are talking about for daily wear and not just to get your rocks off. Wear a skirt. Just do it, and if people give you s-h-i-t, just tell them it is comfy, because they are. I am genderqueer too, female and plan on staying so, but somedays I just want to bind my boobs and wear baggy jeans. Other days, I wear big flowy ankle length skirts. Just wear whats comfy, dude!

Edit: Dont listen to the guy above me. That kind of repression is what leads to high rates of gay suicide. Be who you are, dont repress yourself.

Answer 2

You could start by informing your mother of an issue called gender nonconformity. Tell her you have a slight gender nonconformity. It is a seperate issue than homosexuality.
Tell her she may here science say it is a predisposition to becoming homosexual, perhaps transvestite, or transgender even some with heavy gender nonconformity want a sex change. Tell here you have a light gender nonconformity, it explains the feminine side of you. You could tell her it isnt all in if rather this gender nonconformity has to do with some hormonal imballances, because for the simple fact some children learn characteristics that seem to belong to the opposite gender.
tell her some children grow out of their gender nonconformity, while others construct some ideas they would like to explore.
You could then say, I would like exploring wearing long skirts, even longer than the Scottish wear.

Answer 3

Hey! Another genderqueer pagan on the site! I was getting tired of being the only one...

If you parents are open-minded then you'll need to have a long conversation about gender identity and where you feel you fit in the grand scheme of things. If they aren't open-minded, then good luck with that one buddy! Just let them know that you're tired of pretending to be someone you're not and you're tired of lying every day. Let them know how you identify and how you prefer to present and hopefully they'll be accepting. You might also want to find a PFLAG chapter in your area or a local trans support group to help them understand and adjust.

Answer 4

Tell her at an appropriate time when theres no added stress... for example, the day before a family gathering might not be a great idea. She may take it well, she may need time to adjust to the idea... she may scream and not talk to you for awhile. Be honest and let her know exactly how you feel and how long you've felt it. Take into consideration her feelings and cunfusion if she has any... she may not have had much exposure to the gay, transgendered or "gender fluid" community. Good luck, she's your mom so no matter what she will love you!

Answer 5

Honestly, for guys it's just the same as girls with few exceptions, two inches above and below the knee are acceptable in public, although he can wear longer and I have seen men in calf length skirts in public. My advice is to wear solids, denim or fine fabrics and to stay away from flowery designs although that depends on taste and what you're trying to achieve. If you wear them often, the idea should be to blend in with your environment.

There is NOTHING queer about wearing a skirt and they will NOT make your partner turn gay...hint, hint to the females out there. It is simply an article of clothing more attuned to health in more intelligent males who prefer comfort to the excuciating experience of having your pants bunch up in your crotch only to cause you to sweat profusely and encounter health problems as a result...

Answer 6

You get together with mom, preferably with food, and say, so mom, I really need to tell you something. And you tell her. And then you eat something while she poops and pretends she didn't and gets over herself and says, I love you bob, or whatever, and eats some chocolate herself. Then you go shopping for skirts. If mom freaks completely, you say, I can see you are having trouble with that. would you like to ask me a question? and that should get the ball rolling. Good luck. She's your mom, and as a mom. WE love you. You're our kids. and we just want you to be sucessful and happy. You can be gay, just be sucessful and happy and gay. That's all we really want.

Answer 7

All I would say is that you are obviously comfortable with who you are, which is great. However you have to break it to your mum in 'manageable' chunks. The chances are she already suspects something is up. You need to talk to her, but not in an ultimatum kind of way, but in a sharing your life/considering her feelings kind of way. There is no easy way to do it, but be sympathetic to her reactions and let her deal with it!

Answer 8

i don't understand the gender fluid life so I am not going to give any advice. I do want to say to the people who just say-- go tell your mom, she'll love you no matter what, that it might not be that simple. You might get rejected by your own family.
Secondly, the people who say just dress any way you want, are encouraging you to get your a-s-s kicked. You know there are groups like the kkk and neo nazis and no-brain gang bangers who would love to attack you with a baseball bat. Be happy with yourself but also be safe. if you plan on dressing in clothing that is usually reserved for the opposite sex, then you must do so in safe places. Please be careful.

Answer 9

take a look at yourself in the mirror. a REAL good look. when you notice the feminemity around your original self that's because you're two people. see, sometime during you're life your brain got hijacked by an entity. a force that lives and breaths just as you do. this explains why you have the urge to do everything that is woman yet still keep your junk below. that's the original you talking. see, i know what i'm talking about because i'm fighting the same thing. see, i can control it. kind of like blade. you know how he was an ex-vampire? this time only with sexual preferences. it's not your fault you're like that. every froot loop out there is literally possesed by these things. i got mine on check. it's an up-hill mental battle to save yourself (or what's left of you). i know you won't believe me after you finish reading this but i know what you're talking about. your body is "willingly" giving in to urges. you need to fight these urges or you'll lose yourself forever. homosexuality is a mix of brain-jacking, spiritualism, mentally and the human body. this explains why you're not so quick to go strait as you originally were. check this out: try and resist. literally. your body will instinctively tell you "yes" and too go gay. it's an impulse. you feel it consuming your body and taking over. for you it successfully did.

Answer 10

Maybe contact the people at PFLAG (Parents and friends of lesbians and gays). They have lots of ways they can help you tell her.