He's expressed a desire to die, but he hasn't really developed a method for doing so, at least I don't think, and he refuses to seek any treatment. He is extremely depressed, and he has a lot to be depressed about. He has AIDS and some kind of muscle condition affecting his legs and back, so he can barely walk with a cane and lives off disability. He is an alcoholic, so much so that he shakes when he can't get alcohol and drinks until he's incapacitated nearly every day. He has only a ninth grade education, is not intellectually inclined at all, and long time drug use has robbed him of some of his mental ability, so he is unemployable and has few things to do with his time. He keeps his room in the most deplorable condition I've ever seen and often neglects his hygeine. It's obvious that a lot is going wrong in his life, but if you try to tell him and offer advice, you'll hurt his pride and probably get cursed out.
What could you say to this person to make him want to live?
2007-02-05 16:24:22 · 10 answers · asked by Subconsciousless 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i guess i'd say just let him know you care about his wellbeing
you can't make another person want to live... i mean honestly, if you were in his condition would you really want to be alive?
2007-02-05 16:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by some_one1234 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I manage many folks like that almost daily. What I suggest is that each and every time your friend engages upon such conduct as is considered "crisis" is to follow his lead infusing positive dialog at each and every turn of the conversation. You want him to live and those who love him will be very sad to have to go through such a thing and he still is a valuable asset to all. Deep down he wants to live. Just keep it up until you have some sort of verbal agreement that he will not harm himself or are convinced that the depression is over.
The rejection of advice is quite normal and why waste your time playing into that. You just have to ride out the storm, in the same ship so to say, with him. That does not mean you must tolerate his habits or any of the other things that have befallen your friend but at this point, short of intervening with preventative applications such as enforced interment, there is nothing you can do. Preventative intervention will stop some of the self-destructive behavior for awhile. Also that will start a process, even though against his will, slowing the death march somewhat. Good Luck
2007-02-06 00:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by JORGE N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive me, but I have to ask; is this a hypothetical question? It has that "too-bad-to-be-true" ring to it......
I think for the moment I'm going to take your word for it. I don't know that there is much that you can say that might make any difference. This guy needs some very serious intervention. First, he needs to get the alcohol taken out of his hands. The AIDS is not curable, but very treatable, given the right circumstances. I don't know about the muscle condition, so I can't say anything. The AIDS and the alcohol abuse are the first things that need attention. Make some phone calls, there are all kinds of programs out there that are designed to help people in such situations.
More generally, this guy just needs someone who is willing to care for his welfare. Specifically by spending several hours each week talking, looking after him, and letting him know that there are people out there that want to help him. You might start by getting a bunch of your friends or family to go and clean up his apartment, (and confiscate any alcohol). He might object, but whats he going to do, he can hardly walk.
2007-02-06 01:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first never ever advice anyone in our life, no one is capable of advicing others, We can give only suggestions. First his alcoholism must be stopped.. don't let him to buy alcohol. make him to believe that you had decided to help him for getting alcohol. it must be a slow process.. after creating faith you have to buy him alcohol.. don't do anything for a fifteen days.. Give him as much as he wants... then on the sixteenth day you open the lid of the bottel and pour a little amount of it from the bottel.. then add the same amount of water in it.. on the first day it mixing must be only two table spoon.. on repeat the same thing for four to five days.. Remember he should not have any doubt.. so, the seal must be in the right way.... after four or five days improve the amount of mixing water gradually.... by doing this we can reduce his alcohol... then while doing this take him to a blind school, physically challenged persons school... If it is posslble ask him to give them food or anything you can.. It can create a change in his behaviour... If he had a slight change.. take him to meet a Psychologist not in a hospital. he should not know that he is a Psychologist... then the Psychologist will do something... At the moment make him to feel how much you like him. how much others like Him.... the process doesn"t stops here... He should not go back to the worst part of life.. For that you can take him to AIDS patients reformation center... Join him as a volunteer there... he must be there for an year or two... later becoming normal... he can be helped to have his own earning through business or employment.... I had left many parts of the treatment here because I am basically poor at Writing or typing.... this is my Id you can ask me if you believe that I CAn Help you.. bharathkumarkt@gmail.com
2007-02-06 01:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by bharathkumarkt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter how hard it is to face this life just try and take it one day at a time and try your best to do the best that you can no matter what because you are a very special person and try not to block that out. I heard and read alot of things that made me pull through hard times. There were times when I too didn't want to care at all. I was giving up. I was really giving up because of the pain and feeling like no one gives a damn about me. Then I started saying things to God and all that. Some one saved me and I'm thankful, but I still go through the good and bad days.
I read a book The Revelations of Hell. If you kill yourself, you will go straight to hell, be in greater pain then you are now and it will never ever end and you'll wish you didn't do it over and over again and again. You should make the best out of this, look forward to better days, at least try and ask God to come into your life as well as your heart too and he will lift you up and you wouldn't want to leave Him ever again. You truely have a spot in heaven, live. please live. Don't let satan rule your life anymore. It's time for you to wake up and live the struggles no matter how painfull it is. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and ask for forgiveness for your sins and that you believe Jesus died on the cross and arose again and sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. Believe and you will be saved.
I love you and I cried for you and I will pray for you even though I don't know who you are, you have a place in my heart
2007-02-06 01:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by mary m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that there is a light at the end of the darkness I suffer from severe depression and I have been hospitalized because of it. I, too have major health issues, I have Hepatitis C and that is killing me, my liver is shuttting down. I can tell you that this is a very bad place to be in. My advice to you is to call 911, and First Call For Help, they can help you with your friend. There is really nothing you can say except that you care for him and that you would greatly miss him if he killed himself. There is really nothing that you can do, but tell him that Jesus loves him and that he has a reason that is unknown to you, but there will be someone else that he can help, he is precious in the lord Jesus's eye and he has Plans for him. I am Praying for you and your friend. May the Lord help you reach your friend. God Bless You both.
2007-02-06 00:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by mary k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to sound bad but if someone wants to die. there's nothing you or anyone can do to stop them. my sister is suicidal and been saying she's going to do it for years now. one day she said she was going to shot herself I handed her my own gun and walked out of the room. when I gave her the chance she didn't. Don't get me wrong I love my sister. Some people will say they want to die when LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME don't work anymore. let him know you care and that you'll miss them but passed that there's not much you can do
2007-02-06 00:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try helping him with things 1 at a time that way he will feel each stage of emprovment and find life is worth living.
2007-02-06 00:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by Krayden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be taken to a Dr. right away. You take him. Dr. will put him on meds and then arrange for counseling. Your heart is in the right place but nothing you can say will save him. Only professionals can help him.
2007-02-06 00:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Marissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Out of all the things you said the alcohol is the most debilitating. It keeps him from making decisions, thereby from maturing. I would remind him to call when he needs something and to be sure to call before he does something damaging to himself or others.
2007-02-06 00:30:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋