Divorce?
Stay together for the sake of the children?
2007-02-05 16:22:46 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell me this?
How can he 'really' be a wonderful father 'if'
he treats his kids mother 'like crap'..
The two don't go together dearie!!
If he treats you badly, do you honestly think sooner or later that it won't effect your kids.
Have they heard you arguing, or experienced
the 'cold' atmosphere between you too?
Of course they have, kids are 'not dumb or blind
to these things'.. They may not understand whats going on right now, but they 'will'..
My sister stayed with her husband for the sake of the kids, and to this day her kids (now grown)
have some resentment toward her for 'not' leaving him, because the 'lack of' love between
their parents became more and more evident
as they got older.."how miserable"!!
How can you 'truly' give your kids a 'LOVING'
home when the parents don't love each other?
2007-02-05 17:14:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I stayed for 23 years for the sake of the children and my husband was neither a wonderful father OR husband. Depends how YOU feel about it, but when I look back, I realize all the good years that I lost and will never get back.
2007-02-05 16:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on how horrible of a husband he is... If you care about the children more then a wonderful marriage, don't divorce. If it matters to you how strong the relationship is then divrce.If your husband get's worse and you can't stand it, I would divorce.You should talk to him and explain how you feel and what you think of him now.He might understand and stop doing whatever he is doing t be a horrible husband. Your children also want the parents to be happy, maybe talk to them about how you feel about their daddy. It's all up to you on what you do, but other's can help decide on what to plan.Good Luck with your kids and Husband!
2007-02-05 16:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy_of_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dad told me one time you can be too much a mother and not enough of a wife. So i always said the same is true for men too.He can be too much of a father and not enough of a husband..There has to be a balance in the relationship.Children feel the tensions and the''stay together for the children'' line does not hold water these days.
You didn't give much info on why he inst a good husband so i assume its either cheating,beating or ignoring you, but you see him as a good father so he cant be all bad.Talk to him very frankly and openly.Tell him how you feel.
2007-02-05 16:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by Meemi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him to attend couples therapy and take it from there. You owe it to your yourself and the kids to try to make it work. But, if he treats you poorly and the kids are aware of that, then he isn't that great of a dad. If he doesn't want to go to couples therapy then you should go it alone and talk to someone that's objective. Even when I'm mad at my husband I think his being such a good Daddy is very admirable, but there are times when I want to hit him in the face with a pie!
My biggest lesson learned is this: If you want something you need to ask for it. Ask him out for dinner just the two of you. Get a sitter, get yourself all dolled up and have him wine and dine you.
Tell him he needs to remember your marriage came first, that you are the mother of those fabulous kids and you need some love and respect, dammit.
I'm all about asking for what I want, and making sure I fight for what is important.
Now make some reservations for a romantic dinner, hire a sitter and show him you're more than the Mommy!
2007-02-05 16:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should focus more on the two of you verses the kids..
Go out somewhere, send the kids out somewhere and just stay home, talk to each other, you just have to make a point to really try to stay together if you don't want a divorce..
You should try to stay together because divorces can be really hectic, and it isn't good for kids, or so they say
But ultimately you have to decide for yourself
2007-02-05 16:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by xxsilentxcriesxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get some serious counseling if you both want to make the marriage work If he is a horrible husband your unhappiness will eventually affect your children in some form or fashion, especially if there is verbal or physical abuse.
2007-02-05 16:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve to be happy too. If he's a wonderful father then he should still be a good father if you divorce.
2007-02-05 16:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how horrilble of a husband is he?
if it is extreme like physical violence leave...or if you could not stay in a relationship like that for 18 or how ever more years until your children go to college then leave.
2007-02-05 16:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by YESIWILL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends why he is a horrible husband... have you tried marriage counseling yet first?
2007-02-05 16:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋