what should i do..my two best friends are turning their backs on me and wont talk to me anymore?

Question

i had two best friends named katie and erin and we always did everything together. if i wasnt at one of their houses they were at mine. they were the type of friends i could tell anything to and trust them with anything. it started about 2 months ago when erin's ex boyfriend came over to my house and he kissed me. it wasnt something that i wanted to do and as soon as he did i backed away and said i couldnt do that to erin even tho they wernt goin out anymore. so he left and the next day at school a bunch of people found out about it and got the story twisted around and said that we made out and he went up my shirt and stuff. ever since then katie and erin wont talk to me. i tried explaining everything to them and they wont believe me and it even got to the point where they are starting to call me names. katie is talking to me again now, but its still not the same and we dont hang out anymore and i know she is still talking about me behind my back.i justwish we couldbe bestfriends again

Answer 1

totally hard situation.

you are not the only one to have things get twisted around and complicated - it sucks - and sometimes you are better off just walking away from the situation for a while and giving it a break.

if you girls are going to be best friends, or good friends, or something important, keep this in perspective and remember that this will end up just being a story you tell about when you first knew eachother way back when.

you might write erin a letter that very simply tells her that you are sorry you didn't tell her immediately as soon as the boy kissed you and that she had to hear about it from someone else. and tell her you understand if she is upset, but that you want her to know that you miss hanging out with her and being her friend. And if she ever wants to chill sometime, she should just let you know.

And then give her whatever time she wants. You cannot change her or make her do something. You can only be honest with her, say your piece, and then see what she does. Odds are if you just focus on something else (and don't get sucked into any more drama!!!) and are yourself you will end up friends sooner or later.

And don't make your friend Katie feel like she's in the middle. And don't talk to her about Erin cause she might tell her or exaggerate something in a story. Keep your nose clean. No gossip.

good luck!

Answer 2

I think you should sit down and write a letter to your friends telling them what really happened and how the gossips at school have blown it out of all proportion. I would say in the letter how much they have hurt you by their actions and that it is not a nice payback when you really stood by your friend by not wanting to have a relationship with her ex. The fact is they are being unreasonable. As everyone knows ex's are a no go zone, but in reality she was broken up with him and he instigated the situation.
Before you give them the letter I would ask someone you trust and that can be anyone another friend, teacher, brother, sister even your mother..to read the letter and perhaps have a copy so that the girls cannot twist anything you may put in it and blow that out of proportion. Then if they cannot move on from it and start treating you better you will have to move on and find some friends worth refusing their boyfriends advances.

Answer 3

I think that you have to try again to talk to them both and tell them how you would never do anything to hurt your friendship with them and how much it means to you. Be honest - tell them that it hurts you that you are not as close right now and this was what you were trying to avoid from the beginning. Time may be the only thing that heals this, but trying to talk with them is the only thing you really can do to try to get across how you feel.

Maybe write them a letter if you cant find the words...

Answer 4

You are more of a friend then they expected. You should feel good about the actions you took and feel proud that you chose friendship over some stupid guy. They'll come around once the truth sinks into their naive little heads.

Answer 5

Honey, if you tried to talk to them and they won't listen and still continue to cause problems, then I think you should move on and get new friends. Join a club or a sport like tennis or cheerleading and try to make new friends.

Answer 6

wait it out. It will be hard but there's really nothing else you can do. Sooner or later they will find out that they need to be your friend and want to be. They will come to you when they are ready too. Pick up some new friends but dont be afriad to let them back in. Hope I helped.

Answer 7

Get them in your confidence.. explain your feeling as you did
earlier when you could share anything... give them sufficient time to understand you... never avoid them.. don't tell bad about your friend outsider... call them in a peace place and clarify your views.. i am sure they will understand you and your belief in them ok...best of luck....

Answer 8

stand on your own two feet. your worth can not be determined by whether or not Katie and Erin like you.

Answer 9

hun..if they were your best friends..they would've respected u and trusted your words for your face value.however, sit down with them and talk to them about it.tell them that if thy don't believe in you,they're free to do anything including breaking up the friendship.Let them know how much their behaviour hurts u.But hold your head high.If it has to be a goodbye,u have to be brave enough to face it.good luck...

Answer 10

if they dont believe you, then they're not your true friends. just try and be a friend to them still, that is if you want to... just ignore them. along the way make some new friends, friends that will respect and believe you.