My wife wants to have threesomes with other girls.....?

Question

She wants to put a "show on for me" and watch me have sex with other women?

We have done some pretty out there stuff in our time but i'm thinking this may be a step too far.

What do people think? Anyone tried it? What was the ourcome?

Lol i'm bigger than that so thats not a concern but thanks for the advice.

Ok my wife is satisfied trust me and we are very close and in love i assure you.

Her logic is that is just a sex thing and it would be fun. We trust each other so that kind of thing isn't an issue. But I do think she could get jealous I had a (girl who was just a friend) when we first met and she did'nt like her. She kept saying she fancies you etc in the end it turned out she was right and the girl made a big pass at me I had to restrain her physically.

Does it count as jealousy if they turned out to be right?

Answer 1

thasts stupid. dont do it.

Answer 2

I'm not sure you need anymore opinions at this point, but in any case here's mine. Only you and your wife know your marriage. If you have done some pretty "out there" stuff in the past as you say, does it even compare on a small scale with this? For instance your wife kissing another woman in front of you, or something along those lines? If the two of you trust each other enough to do some wild and crazy things, then you should trust each other enough to talk honestly about this at a time when the subject is not hormonally fueled, for instance not in bed, but when you're brushing your teeth in the morning or something like that. Honestly there are a lot of people out there whose marriages involve threesomes and swinging, and many of those are happy marriages. You just have to examine if that is the road you want to take. Don't worry about what other people may think, worry about what will happen immediately following your encounter. If you think all will be normal, or even better, then you should do it. If not, then don't. It would not be worth damaging your marriage.

Answer 3

There are several things to consider and there is no "set in stone" yes or no answer. You have to decide what's best for you and your wife.

First off, regarding your "out there" stuff that you've done... how much of that was your idea or her idea?
If you asked her to do x, y and z (for example) and she agreed...the minute she suggests something if you say "no" that's not very much of a giving partnership, is it? You have to make that sort of thing a two-way street or it is never going to last.
On top of which, before you started doing 'out there stuff' you should have outlined your limitations where you could have told her in advance this made you uncomfortable.

Secondly, is she doing this for YOU or is she really doing it because its something she's always been curious about? Many women disguise their bi-sexuality and interest in experimentation as 'shows for their husband.' This does NOT mean she's going to leavve you for another woman- it just means she's curious and feels safe exploring this in your presence. That's a compliment that she trusts you enough to do this infront of you and know she's loved rather than behind your back and feel judged.

Lastly, you need to decide why you're uncomfortable with this? What, exactly, is it that makes you not-sure about incorporating this into your sex life?? When you know that answer, be honest with your wife and have an adult open honest conversation about it with her. If you're still 100% against it after that conversation, let her know that. She should respect it.

I'm not saying its completely wrong or completely right for you to do this. I'm saying its something that you should look at carefully. Each marriage is different and whats right for some is wrong for others.

Best of luck to you. Let us know what you decide.

Answer 4

That all depends on what boundries you both have set in your relationship. My husband and I get pretty crazy, but only with eachother. After all that's why you married one another. I'd say keep any third parties out. No matter how playful you two might be, I think this would only end in jealousy, pain, mixed feelings. Sex is a sacred thing between you, don't take away from that by bringing others into the mix. Unless that's the type of marriage you want for yourselves- go with your gut-it's too far.

Answer 5

To answer your last question first, yes, it's still jealousy if she turns out to be right, but that's different than what's going on now.

Relax, take it easy. Talk to her about all the ins and outs of what's going to happen when she puts on this show for you, what you're going to do and what you're not going to do. To me, the sound of "putting on a show for you" is more something you get to watch than something you get to participate in... not that there's anything wrong with that, just different than what you seem to think is happening.

Regardless of what happens, this is different than what happened at the begenning of your relationship with your wife because that situation your wife had no say-so or control of what happened with the other girl. Now, your wife has total say-so and control. She gets to pick the girl(s) the time, the setting, the music, etc.

Think of it this way: if your boss tells you to call a customer back, you'll do it grudgingly. But when you get home, you call a dozen people. It's the same thing: one is work because you're not in control, the other isn't because you are in control.

Answer 6

Like you said yourself, you've done some pretty out there stuff. This is just a fantasy your wife may have, but it is a recipe for disaster.
The thought may sound hot, but, I bet if your wife were to catch you holding another woman's hand while walking down the street she would flip.
Take a second and think about all the intimacy involved in a sexual relationship, do you really want to share those private moments with a stranger?

Answer 7

A 3some with you , wife & another woman is probably the safest
multi-partner event...
Wife always invites other woman, man never contacts woman
outside of bedroom....Man always participates in bed...
Never ever allow another couple or man in your bed...
I don't know about your wife and two other women without
your being a participant....Think about the psychological balance.
Could she form a bond with one of the other women if you were
not a participant ? You need to maintain the exclusivicity of your
two partner marriage....Another women in a 3some is simply the
third party being the stranger and not a intimate member of the marriage group....It may work, but it may be safer if you are a
participant in some way...

Answer 8

Don't do it, because it will do nothing but cause problems in your marriage. It may seem like fun now, but by bringing sex with other people into the picture, it can cause trust issues.

Been there, and know from personal expirience, my wife got involved in that crap, and we almost got divorced because of it.

Answer 9

If thats what you and her both want then go for it but always remember you will be taking the chance that once she sees you with another woman her views might change and she gets jealous.

Answer 10

I would say way too many opportunities for something bad to happen out of this. Never done anything like that, I just think too many chances for jealousy, STDs, etc.

Answer 11

I wouldn't do it. You will destroy the trust and intimacy of your marriage. I'm thinking your marriage might be in trouble anyway. I can't imagine wanting my husband to be with anyone but me! Her idea is creepy and way, way too out there to be safe or good for either of you.