How do I get my future mother-in-law to like me?

Question

My future mother-in-law hates my guts because she thinks I'm only after her sons money.I had absolutely no idea about his fortune when he walked into my hair salon one day and asked me to dinner.We've been together now for 18 months and since he proposed a month ago it's been worse than ever.He never lets her disrespect me in any way and even threatened to cut her out of his life after the one and only time she called me a gold digger.I love the guy more than anything which is why I never tell him all the things she says to be when he's not around but I don't know what to do anymore.She's always butting in like when a few months back I rushed him to the hospital after his apendix burst and I was by his side the whole time but once she showed up she pretty much told me now she was here,I wasn't needed anymore and to leave.I don't just sit back and take it but I do hold a lot in for his sake.What do I do?I'm getting married in 6 months.

I've told him I'm more than willing to sign a pre-nup but he won't here it.He says he knows I'm in it for real and would never ask me to sing a pre-nup which is getting the mother-in-law even more furious.

Answer 1

You should sit down and talk to her. Open up by talking about things she is interested in, or stories about your guy from when he was little. If you can find common ground, you will have a better chance of her respecting you. Don't fight or argue with her- it will only make it worse. It is obvious that you are the bigger person here, and sometimes that means letting the other win sometimes. As long as your man stands up for you and knows you love him, that is all that matters.

Answer 2

Maybe she is jealous of you? The Bible says, "For this cause, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh". It is very good that your man is standing up for you. It was out of respect that you called her when your man was in the hospital, as his mom. Is he an only child? The youngest? Does she have any hobbies to help occupy her time? Have you asked your man how it was growing up with her? Would you and your man consider sitting down, having a talk with her together? Maybe he needs to reassure her that he loves her, no one will take her place, yet he is an adult, and it's time for him to get married to the woman he loves, and wants to be as his partner for life. Does he want you to stay home after you get married, or work, at least until a child comes into the picture? That is a decision the two of you are to make, not her. I wish you two the very best., and congrats! Take care.

Answer 3

I haven't gone through this type of situation to the extent that you've described, but my mother-in-law was a little cold towards me before I married her son. I just tried to ignore it. After we were married for a few months, she started warming up to me. Now, she'll call me on the phone just to talk and see how everything's going. It seems like you've got a great guy- he's defending you. I think one of two things will happen after you get married- 1) His mom will see that you are in the marriage for love and back off or 2) Your hubby will cut her out of his life like he warned her. Hopefully the first will happen so you all can have a good relationship.

Answer 4

Yikes :(

I could say all the standard things.....i.e, let him go...tell him the truth...don't tell him the truth and pray things get better....but thats neither here nor there......What you need to do is seriously take into consideration how much you like this guy. I say like, because that is the key to any successful relationship. You can love love love....but if you don't truly like the person......than the relationship won't work....

I want to wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.....mother-in-laws aren't fun, most of the time. Mine swore to always be here for me.......needless to say, her son cheated on me and walked out on his two kids....and I haven't seen or spoken to her since....that was almost 11 years ago......

(((((Hugs))))) You'll make the right decision :)

Answer 5

I hope you really love this man, cause it ain't gonna be easy. But the best way to get her to like you is to make him happy. And if that don't work...she never will. Be honest with her, but don't let her walk all over you . Nobody respects a doormat. As long as you two have been together and she hasn't come around, it doesn't look good. Have you tried talking to him about her? Just ask him "what's it gonna take to win your mother over" ? "I'll do ANYTHING" (except give you up.) lol You got a tough row to hoe. Good Luck...you're going to need it.

Answer 6

Just be you and dont be something or put on a fake facade no matter what you do. You will have to prove yourself to them that is all and prove to them that you love him for him and that the money does not matter. You know you are not a gold digger so that is all that matters. Dont let her opinion of you ruin what you have built with him and marry him as long as it is for all the right reasons. He chose you and you chose him so that is good enough. His mom will just have to learn to accept it someday and live with it. you do not leave when she tells you to either. You stick by him no metter what. I am wondering what will happen once you are married and if you have kids. This is going to be a hard road and i hope you are strong enough for it.

Answer 7

Since you already know what kind of mother-in-law you may have, the only thing to do is be polite when she is around or when you are around her. You got yourself a good man who is willing to defend you in any way. She is going to be who she is and no one can change that, that's who she is.

It is best to tell your fiance everything that she tells you, so that way he can go and talk to her and straighten things out. He needs to let her know that her behavior is not tolerated when coming to visit you two, otherwise, don't visit at all. The problem is not you, the problem is her. She has a problem with herself that she has to be rude to others just to maker herself feel good.

So you just need to be polite if you two visit her. And if she happens to get rude, you can always leave! Just don't keeps things from your husband, you can't keep things inside, it will make you sick. Remember, he will be your husband soon, so share things with him even though if it has to do with your soon to be mother-in-law. You can't do anything for her to like you, she has to be the one to make that choice. (smile)

Good luck with your marriage!

Answer 8

Put your self in Mom's place. She is feeling UN-loved and un-need and insecure right now. Try whenever and however you can to ask her advice in something. Remember he will always be her son. They way to a happy relationship with her is to include her. If you love him don't make him choose who right and whose wrong. That will only make him conflicted. Someday hopefully you will be a mother and then you will understand totally why she is acting this way. Usually once the I do"s are said things finally settle down and everyone takes their rightful place in the family order.

Answer 9

sorry honey but take it from me if they don't like u in the beginning they never will, I'm going on 7 yrs and my mother in law still can't mind her own business. if your not telling him everything then u should because if he really loves u he will put her in her place and tell her to but out, if somethings not done about it she will cause alot of arguing between you and your man. it's going to get worse before it gets better, u need to face her in a gentle but strong tone not disrespect-full but so she knows your not a push over and let her know that no-matter what she does you love your man and make her understand that she isn't going to scare u away. look darl it will either make u or brake you so good luck be strong and remember never to let her know she's got the better of u.

Answer 10

Both of my mother-in-laws have tried to but into our lives, that is 2 different marriages, I basically tried to ignore them, take care of what they needed that I was able to provide and run interference when they tried to screw up our plans. I was married for 5 years the first time and 17 the second. The second really tried to break us up, and tried to screw up the deal we made to buy a house, that's when I just believed my husband, and ran interference with the home seller, assuring him we had ample finances to afford the home, in the end she got pis*ed cuz I won and basically stopped treating me bad, oh yeah, I ran errands for her, drove her home when she got drunk, whatever I would have done if it was my own mother without ever showing her an attitude.