I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now...and we've lived together for about 7 months. He is absolutely my best friend in life, and I can't even imagine finding anyone else that I could have such a close relationship with! We've both graduated from college and have gotten started in our careers...but we're still only 23! Are we too young to get engaged? I'm a little apprehensive about bringing it up because I don't want to sound like I just want a ring or that I'm giving him any sort of ultimatum.
I think getting married at 24 would be good because I'd like to have a few years of us being together before having any kids. My boyfriend has already talked about how he wants us to start saving for a house, so obviously he plans on being with me...but how can I bring up marriage without freaking him out? Thanks in advance for your answers!!
2007-02-05 14:46:38 · 9 answers · asked by Julia 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The thing is, I feel like I've "kept my trap shut" for long enough...I've given up a lot for him (including moving to a new state for his job) and I think it's only fair that he should know how I feel and what I'm thinking. I don't think it's healthy for people to keep their feelings from eachother in a relationship.
2007-02-05 14:59:30 · update #1
Yes i feel this is a good time to suggest it and to bring up the topic of marriage. You are not too young to be engaged at all. It sounds like your boyfriend might be ready to be engaged and to plan on getting married down the road. Go for it girl!
2007-02-05 14:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like both of you have a good start in life by getting an education. This will open doors for good jobs and a good life.
Yes, marriage is only a piece of paper, but it is also a contract. If he is really serious about you he should not hesitate in marrying you. You want the very best for your future children by having a solid marriage and “traditional family life”. You deserve it.
Ask him what happens in 3 years when both you saved a lot of money to buy a house, but he dies before you buy the house or get married. Who keeps the money, the car, the furniture, etc?
Also, marriage will help both of you to be faithful to each other.
2007-02-05 23:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? LOL On a serious note, What is the hurry? You two can have a few years before any children. You don't have to be married to enjoy what each other have to offer. Communication is the first step. Once you two get on the same page it will go faster than you can imagine. I lived with my husband for 6 years before marriage and we lasted 28 years. It is different for all relationships. Just relax and be happy. Good Luck
2007-02-05 22:57:02 · answer #3 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 23. It is not too young if you are ready. But you know, if he doesn't want to get married, don't pressure him. If you pressure him into marriage, he will be unhappy. My husband brought it up and we decided to get married and it was the happiest day of my life. I would never ever pressure a man to get married though! Keep your trap shut and let him tell you when he is ready!
Honey, my husband is in Iraq so be lucky you still have your boyfriend safe and sound. Be happy for what you have because it could all be gone in a second. Ask him what he thinks about marriage and if he says he's not ready, then he's not ready! If he is the one, you will wait for him!
2007-02-05 22:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have waited long enough. Ask him straight out. That's the only way to do it. I can't believe that after 4 years you are nervous about bringing up marriage. Most people wouldn't have waited that long.
2007-02-05 23:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't exactly know how you should ask him to marry you, but i don't think that 24 is too young to get married. In the middle east they get married around 20, 21, also.
2007-02-05 22:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by ~Val~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe ask him what his long term goals are for the two of you as a couple? As you mentioned he has a few since he wants to start saving for a house...maybe he thinks for whatever reason that you are not ready for more.
2007-02-05 22:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by indygurl3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've never had a what if conversation in the 4 years you've been with him. you're living with him so I would come straight out and ask him what he thinks about getting married.
2007-02-05 23:01:38 · answer #8 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to bring up a ring tell him you feel guilty about living together without being married that should work,or buy a ring and propose to him!
2007-02-05 22:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋