What to do? My son is 17 yrs old and hasn't gone to school in 2 yrs, doesn't take a bath and cut his hair.

Question

My son smells so bad like a homeless guy he plays video games all night and sleeps all day. That's all he wants to do he doesn't even want to go outside at all.

Answer 1

Aren't you alittle late?

You should of done something about it 2 years ago!
You're the parents!

Answer 2

He probably doesn't want to go outside because he's aware of how badly groomed he is. Take the box away so he can't play video games. Bring someone into your house to cut his hair, buy him some new not-too-nerdy clothes and tell him to go get a job and not to come home until he has one. Tell him that by working, he will be able to stay in the house and play video games when he has money to pay rent and buy his own box for the games. Tell him he's seriously deranged if he thinks living like a homeless guy is what you raised him to do. Make it easy for him to get a quick spruce up. Give him some leads on places to go to apply for jobs. Tell him that he has a curfew and he can't stay up all night because he has to work all day. Just do it. Tell him it's for his own good but you have to make him do it. Tell him you love him and you're worried about him. But kick his butt out into the job market.

Answer 3

My mom's friend has a son who was exactly like your son. Except his thing is computers. He's 36 now, still lives with his parents, no job, no desire to do anything except play on the computer all day. Doesn't contribute to society at all. Doesn't help his parents out financially. Believe me, they could use the help. It's their fault. They created the monster, now , they are stuck with him. He's a bum.... He has two younger brothers that are out of the house and doing fine. If this is what you plan to deal with then do nothing. If not, take him down to the recruiter's office and have him sign up if they'll even take him. Give him an ultimatum, tell him he's got such and such time to get his act together, clean his stinky self up, get a job, and move out of the house by the time he's 18. Tough love. That's what it's called. Hard to do, I know, especially when it's your own flesh and blood. But, if you don't do something soon, he's going to end up amounting to just existing instead of living.

Answer 4

You have let your son quit school and not have a job for two years!? What are you thinking! Anyone that is not in school should be working----period. Take away the tv, video game player, video games, telephone-- pretty much everything. Give him a mattress, blanket and pillow. He will have to earn anything else he wants back by bathing, getting a job and being a productive family member. He should leave in the morning looking for a job and return in the evening after looking all day. This behavior is totally unacceptable. You have to force him to take responsibility for his decisions. He will not be able to find a "good" job, but he'll find a minimum wage job. He should pay you something for giving him a place to sleep and food to eat. He's had it easy for two years. Way too long. You have to be strong and do what is best for your child, not what is easiest. If he still can't seem to get himself together and do anything, then take him to a counselor for help. Make sure that he has chores to do to earn his keep. The sooner he becomes responsible for himself the better off he'll be. Be strong and demand this of your son. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Why are you enabling him to do this. Yes he is 17 but you do not have to make it a comfortable existence for him, have the TV disconnected for a month or until he gets off his butt and becomes a member of society again, take away every thing he uses to stay at home If all he wants to play is video games make him earn his own player system, feed his every thing he doesn't like, You are obligated to look after him but you do not have to give him every thing he wants, state what you want and stick to it Hair cut, bath daily, clean his own room do his own laundry are you raising a child or adult. You have to live with the results

Answer 6

I'm not sure what you have tired with your son, but sounds like he doesn't have much social interaction, and is keeping to himself, I would suggest taking him to a psychologist, or mental health practitioner. A large amount of people whom don't attend school and refuse to shower etc have anxiety and self esteem issues, that need to be addressed. As your son is 17 and I'm not sure how soon he turns 18 taking him to a child and adolescent Facility is your best option at this stage. Good luck and I hope you get the assistance you are looking for.

Answer 7

Lay Down the Law.
Tell him he gets Bathed EVERYDAY, A HAIR CUT AND A JOB.....
OR HE CAN MOVE OUT TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL..
GIVE HIM 3 WEEKS TO GET A JOB. Or go back to school.
Tell Him He WILL PAY RENT OR BE EVICTED.
If he fails to do this addmitt him to a hospital for a MENTAL EVALUATION.
mAKE SURE THEY KEEP HIM THERE UNTIL HE IS IMPROVED.
IF HE GOMES HOME AND STARTS UP AGAIN. SEND HIM BACK.
This is not normal teenage behavior and he needs help that he cannot get at home.
Tell me , ARE YOU PLANNING ON SUPPORTING HIM WHEN HE IS 50 PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY?

Answer 8

call a therapist and make him go. Hide the video games at a friend's house until he gets counseling. Sounds very depressed. He needs serious help. Suicides are on a sharp increase in adolescents. Not to scare you, but isolation is a HUGE sign of depression.

Answer 9

It is really stupid of you to let this kind of behavior go on in your household. Step up and become the parent figure here. It is unacceptable for you or him to be acting this way. His behavior is bad because he knows he can get away with it. You need to take away the video games and other electronics. Tell him that he needs to go to school. If he refuses, kick his butt out and tell him to support himself. You do not need to be supporting him if he insists on acting like this.

Answer 10

No more video games, take him to the doctor. Take away his tv time and his computer time (only exception is homework). Get him started on distance learning, where you can watch him do it. He is acting like a child, so you need to treat him like one, until he can be trusted again. I would worry though that he has depression, so thats why I suggested the doc.

Answer 11

your son may be suffering from mental illness you need to get him hospitalation in a mental helth location.He sounds like he could benifit from stablation of medaction.You need to comphrunt him and throw out the vido games make a game plain and be a tuff love parent.Its your job to insist he obay your rules and if he does not he will have to deal with consuquences.Family councling is a deffenit.School is required in most states and the police can arrest him and place him into junival coustody to make him make changes in his life.You must take drastic messures with your son soor as 18 is legal age and you will have no options or services(help) as of his 18 birthday.Tacke action now