Love & money are they related?

Question

You find someone.......

Become friends......

Date each other......

Fall in love..........

Then realize you should be married.

All of a sudden love shifts to material gain?

What does one have to do with the other? Why does it get in the way of happiness? Whether you get rich, struggle or just live an average life. Why does it seem like material stability competes with enduring love?

Granted we all have responsibilities before & after we find each other and get hitched. Why can't two people come together without issues interfering with commitment? Even if one or the other becomes dependant of the other. What does that have to do with if you love them or not? Why does a financial situation stress the strength of the bond? Some of us are resourceful and some of us are extravagant, what does that have to do with staying in love? Everything comes and goes through life why can we place the value of a human over the possessions of comfort?
Are we paying each other to be together? I don't need anyone to provide for me and I don't expect my woman to depend on material stability to maintain her love. Don't couples get together because each one enjoys the other and choose to stay together for that reason?

Somebody Answer that?

I do Have 2 Jobs & divorced. We broke up over money. Now we both have rebounded and yet she still fights over money issues. I'm the resourceful one and she was extravagant, together we never got a head. gimme gimme gimme.....yeash!

Answer 1

Love = happiness
Money= slavery and misery

Answer 2

I'm assuming your the one with out a job.... (lol. just kidding) Really though I think it is because noone wants to feel like they are being used. So if one person isn't working for an extended period of time, (with no medical reasons why) then the other person is going to start feeling used. Eventually that will lead to resentment, which leads to fights.... you get the picture. Money shouldn't be the main focus of a relationship, you don't fall in "real love" with someone because of how much they make. Infact to be honest, sometimes I get worried about dating guys that have a lot of money, because I have to evaluate, "do I really like this guy, or is it because I know he could give me a stable future" type of thing. Same with sex though. That's the main reason I wait so long b4 having sex with a guy. I don't want sex to end up being amazing and then I can't tell if I'm in love with the guy or just the physical attraction... Now that I'm a little older I try to leave conversations about money out of the picture untill I know for sure how I feel about the man first.
So to answer your last question: Yes, ideally people get together because they "enjoy" each other. But there are other factors that come into play and everyone has a different mental picture of what they want out of life. (Some people are just out for money, some people want fame, and some people want true love) Keep your eyes open and you will meet the right person at the right time.

Answer 3

All of that is great and love should be the soul source of getting married and the base of any relationship ,BUT ,heres the problem with love supposally being enough ,when the baby starts crying for some formala and diapers and the cat meowing for some milk and the kids start running snotty noses and the dog wont quit howling for a bone and the computer dont work cause the electricity is off and you cant call anyone who cares cause the phone has been shut off,then geuss what buddy LOVE just got flushed down the toilet with the last bit of water you had because your waters been shut off!All of this is the truth man ,LOVE is great but love doesnt pay the bills and the bills not getting paid cause fighting and fighting tears up relationships and relationships getting torn up leads to divorce and there is no love in divorce and besides that you dont have any money for a divorce because you have been way too busy living off of love!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Love and money are NOT related unless it's actuallly love of money, itself. One can buy acts of 'love' but not love itself.

Money becomes an issue in a relationship because ultimately, it is not about the money that is the issue. Money is only representing or masking the real issue behind the struggle. The issue is that you two are finding your priorities, desires and lifestyles different from each other. Your idea of 'soulmate' has been shattered through finding the differences that you have within yourselves and each other. Your perception is different from hers. Expectation also ruins a relationship because each one's desires are being 'expected' to be met from the other. Your perception and desires do not meet - it becomes apparent with the use of money.

Who do you love? Do you love the person for everything of who or what she is? Or do you love the perception of what you think love and your relationship should be? The strength of love is only as strong as what you know you are loving. You may even have known that your partner is a little bit 'extravagant' or too focused on money, but you learned to dismiss this because you thought love would change that.

But you see, if that is the case, then the love that you knew is not the love that you have now. You must realise that love can only do so much for change. Change shoudln't even be necessary in love - with love should only come acceptance.

This is the problem with relationships. People feel that they need to be co-dependent when they take a vow to 'share a life' together. But in realiity, there are two lives here. Yours and hers. What you really are shariing is the love that you two feel for each other and the desires that you share. But then the expectations that marriage brings to a relationship is disasterous. We're suppose to support each other, feed each other, give each other what we want, we're suppose to change if one doesn't like something about us...I mean, what do you love? The person or the idea of the relationship? Are you not suppose to love our independence and not our dependency on each other?

Know what you love. If you know what you love, then there should not be any expectations. Your desire should be love, not the relationship. Your desire should be the person, not the relationship or what that person can become to you.

Find what it is you value in your relationship and you will find the answer that you are looking for. Money issues are only pointing to the values in any relationship.

If the money keeps persistingn as an issue in the relationship, find what that money is really representing as an issue wiithin the two of you. You will find that it's the differences in your values and personal desires that are really the issue here.

Money is only an object. But love, like money, becomes greater or lesser depending on how you accumulate them.

Answer 5

Whether your question is just a generality or whether it personally applies to you then it sounds like you haven't found the right partner, you are both pulling in different directions. When you find the right person it will be exactly how you have stated it should be in your last paragraph. Sure there will be ups and downs, but remember this old saying - when poverty walks through the door love flies out of the window. Then you know that person was just after money or a good quality of life.

Answer 6

I'm with you but unfortunately a majority of the world realizes that money ends up being a necessary evil. Especially if you live in areas where you have to have money to survive. Now if you live in areas where the people literally live off the land and the fruits it gives humans then you'll probably find the majority of the people are in realtiosnhips for love rather than worrying about the money. Money is an unimportant medium of exchange in these societies.

Answer 7

NO-love and money don't go hand and hand-the two of you can be just as happy broke as you all can with money-money has been the cause of many divorces-material things you can get over and over again-but once that love is gone it is hard to get back and sometime you never get it back-being materialistic is not a good thing-material things are things that God let you get and he can take it away if you love it to much just like money-but love may come once in your lifetime-especially if you are a good man and she is a good woman and you all let money come between the two of you-that is a bad thing-love each otherr- care for each and everything else will come together with the love you all have for each othe- money don't buy love because when the money is gone so is the love

Answer 8

I hate to break it to you, but if it, "all of a sudden switches to material gain," then it really wasn't love to begin with. Economic stability is a factor in relationships because it's a factor in our sense of values and ethics. What do you value vs. what your mate values can become a bond or a wedge. When money gets in the way of happiness, it's not really the money, rather it's the values placed on money. What's your priority for money: entertainment, your home, investments? Staying in love means sharing values. Values such as family, career, and of course... finances. I would find it very difficult to stay with someone who didn't share the same values I had concerning how we should spend our money. Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

I think that material possessions make love flow a bit easier.
Hell look at the way brides want the best dress the biggest ring etc.

Then you have to have the big house with the white picket fence.

When you love someone you want them to have the best and you want them to have things that make life easier.

so you want safety for your family (you wont find that in the ghetto so you must make more money and move where it is safer)

you want your spouse to look nice (so you have to pay for the manicure and nice clothing etc)

It is hard to be happy when bills arent being paid
so if you make more money then you have a better chance of that not happening.

Money obviously can't buy happiness but it sure as hell can rent it!

Answer 10

No, one shouldn't be in it for the money. Love is great, but you can't eat it, live in it, or wear it. Love flies out the window the second your belly starts growling. The number one thing for women in a relationship is security. That means she has a place to live, food on the table, and clothes on her back, with no danger of the electricity being turned off, the car being repossessed, and the kids are well taken care of. It also means her man is faithful and puts her above all others, just as she should do for him.

Answer 11

there's a saying that persons marry into what they love the main. So, if funds is what you maximum choose, that's what you seek for in an significant different. So sure, funds can relate to love.