mark's exwife hates me and makes my life hell.now he left her becuase she was too controlling and made his life hell. but the way i see it she still controlling his life.they both have joint custody of thier son so she can't threaten to take his son away.for example she does not want me going to any of her sons school functions(for no good reason) my husband agrees as he says he does not want to make trouble for his son.he will never stand up for me no matter what she does.if she made his life so bad why does he let her get away with so much?why does it not bother him when he sees how upset she makes me by treating me like a doormat?
2007-02-05 14:09:42 · 11 answers · asked by suedees1996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has no Waybo's
2007-02-05 14:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Girlfriend, I so know what you are going through. Let me tell you, my ex made my life a living HELL. He was awful to my new boyfriend and did the same crap to him that is happening to you. So, basically I was in the same position as your hubby is in now. This is what needs to be done....She needs to KNOW she is DONE. Go to the functions, but keep your cool. Let her throw a fit and make a scene...it will only make matters worse for HER...It will make HER look like a fool. Just keep your cool and whatever you do...NEVER, i repeat, NEVER talk bad about her in front of the kids.
Once you begin doing this, things will get worse. That won't last. It will take her a while to realize your not backing down and neither is hubby. Then...POOF, it will stop and she will back down.
Hubby will go along with it if you tell him that's just how it's going to be. Trust me, this will work. Good luck to you and remember, keep your cool!
2007-02-05 14:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by s w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's more worried about his son's current feelings than his and your and his son's future. His son needs to see what a normal, loving marriage is about and it's not about letting an outside person control your life.
Talk to Mark about this and if he doesn't see a problem or doesn't attempt to change, you need to decide if you're willing to put up with this until his son is married. Even then you'll fight with her over the grandchild.
2007-02-05 14:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Abby Road 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's ex-wife is a ridiculously envious woman and continues to control your husband BECAUSE HE ALLOWS HER TO.
You need to speak to your husband, and let him know upfront that you will not tolerate disrespect from him or his ex-wife. You are his wife and you deserve respect.
And yes, he is disrespecting you by allowing this behaviour to progress. He is in total disagreement with you about his son? But it seems like you are trying to be friendly and have a rapport with the son.
Your husband allows his ex-wife to run his life because of one of two things:
a. He still loves her.
b. He's not strong enough to kick her to the curb for good.
There is no reason that your husband should have any communication with this woman unless it is about their son. He is disrespecting you by allowing communication to go on.
And she treats you like a doormat because you think that she has the right to say whatever to you about her son. Well, she doesn't have the right to be rude or nasty to you. She needs to understand that you are his wife and that you, of all people, will not be disrespected. You need to stand up for yourself, because if you don't, this will continue.
What all this boils down to is the issue of respect. Respect yourself enough to know that you need to lay down some rules and talk about your emotions with your husband. Lay down rules with the ex-wife as well. Make sure you let it be known you won't be known as a doormat.
"I am not a doormat, I am a screen door."
Speak up for yourself, and if that doesn't work...suggest counselling.
Good luck!
-E
2007-02-05 14:18:51 · answer #4 · answered by ♠Gotham♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never deal with the man, if you have something to say deal with her directly. Since he is incapable of standing up for you, stand up for yourself. Don't wait for him to take action while she gets on your nerves. Be forward, and next time don't even ask just get in the car and say " I AM GOING", that's it... If he has a problem with that, or he cant live with it maybe he doesn't deserve you.. You put up with enough crap, time to turn the tables...
2007-02-05 14:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by beygrl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think he may want her back?
He may not but you 2 need to work at it and sort things out and fast.
She can't treat you like that!
Does she have a new man?
If she doesn't this could be the problem?
2007-02-05 14:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is a weak man with no character who is afraid of his ex wife and doesn't respect you or else he would stand up for you.
2007-02-05 14:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had asked me before you married, I would have told you to leave him alone! He sounds like he's still married to the babies' mama!
2007-02-05 14:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by happy_southernlady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because maybe Mark is a jerk
2007-02-05 14:12:03 · answer #9 · answered by Samboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he is an a$shole, plain and simple, he should not allow this.
2007-02-05 14:14:21 · answer #10 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋