mark's exwife hates me and makes my life hell.now he left her becuase she was too controlling and made his life hell. but the way i see it she still controlling his life.they both have joint custody of thier son so she can't threaten to take his son away.for example she does not want me going to any of her sons school functions(for no good reason) my husband agrees as he says he does not want to make trouble for his son.he will never stand up for me no matter what she does.if she made his life so bad why does he let her get away with so much?why does it not bother him when he sees how upset she makes me by treating me like a doormat?
2007-02-05 14:07:16 · 23 answers · asked by suedees1996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think he needs your understanding and support in this difficult situation. I suppose the wife is feeling very territorial about her son.. even so.. it's best to steer clear and it will ease the whole ordeal for everyone, and yeah, especially the son.
However, if she harrasses you within your home.. your own territory.. then you need to sit down with your husband and have him lay some ground rules and negotiate with the ex-wife. It's just part of the extra baggage that comes with being with a divorced man with a kid.
2007-02-05 14:12:54 · answer #1 · answered by fuhreezing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a coward--for some reason afraid of her, or afraid of hurting her feelings. Well, what about YOUR feelings? There is no reason why you should not be allowed to attend your husband's child's school functions--you are his stepmother.
You are "Mark's" current wife, and you should let him know that it's about time he started treating you like it. Do you and "Mark" plan to have any children of your own? I ask because I have the feeling that Mark doesn't want to because it will offend his ex. I hope that my feeling is wrong.
If you and "Mark" do have a child, the ex better start realizing that the children will be siblings--and you and your child will need to be welcome at all family functions. Time to let Mark in on what life is all about--and that you deserve as much, if not more, respect than he's giving the ex.
2007-02-05 14:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you ask permission? Just go and stay discreetly in the background. Your actions are up to you. Nobody makes you do anything. If Mark has a problem with it, it is his to deal with. It sounds like the ex is afraid you will try and take her place. Assure her this isn't the case, but that you are part of his life now, and want to be there for him as a friend when he has functions you would like to attend. If she makes a scene, walk away from it. Mark is also letting himself be manipulated to save the argument he will inevitably get into if he brings you along with him. He needs to grow a set and stand up to her bullying.
2007-02-05 14:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this does not sound pleasant for you. Your husband has his priorities all screwed up. Yes he has to respect the mother of his children but please! She is just going to far with respect to kicking you out of your husbands children's life.
Go to a good marriage counselor and both of you go as this is too important for you to play second fiddle.
Sooner or later you will not tolerate this treatment. You did not do anything to the women..did you? if no...then you know the answer
Sounds like your husband is bucking for another divorce. His ex wife may not really love him but its obvious she don't want him to have someone either. If your husband can't see your side of this one side triangle then the ball will be in your court. He will never change on his own. Tell him you want the man you thought you married..Is not this supposed to be about LOVE?
2007-02-05 14:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where your hubby is coming from, sorry to say,he's scared of her, she sounds like a controlling
you know what ,please don't blame your husband he's just
trying to keep his son,some women are evil she could
come up with something or make up something to have her take the son away completely.I know it's not fair to you but I personally would not get involved that's their son
and if you push too much you may end up looking like the bad guy!Talk to him tell him how you really feel
and relax,it's not easy but this is no reason to be on bad terms with your hubby,THIS IS WHAT SHE WAN T'S
do not let her get to you!GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-05 14:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by Sandora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he still has feelings for her i wouldnt be the doormat one thing about doormats someone has to make them they didnt make you a doormat you made yourself the doormat if you are being pushed around push back YOU need to take control of the situation instead of being controled if she doesnt like you at school functions than join the freaking P.T.A get it then you are no longer the DOOR MAT!!!!!!!!
2007-02-05 14:16:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not afraid of her making his or even for that fact your life bad, but his son's. He is putting his son above all else, and she knows that she can use that against him. She's being evil, he seems to be trying to keep the peace. He really needs to give his ex some closure.
2007-02-05 14:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand up for yourself and demand that both of them treat you with the respect you deserve.He's being a total asshat about the whole thing.He divorced her for a reason and married you for one and he's acting like he may have made the wrong choice.If he doesn't get his act together you're best of leaving him.You can do better.
2007-02-05 14:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if his x doen't want you at her childs school functions, stay away. this is not your child and never will be your child.
that is the only example you give of how badly she is treating you.
there is no reason for you to ever have contact with her. if she calls on the phone, let the voice mail pick it up. etc!!!
stay out of it!!!!!!!!!!!! and your problems will all go away.
but it sounds like you want to controul things just as the x is. there is nothing for you to controul. he is your husband not your child, leave him to do what he needs to do with his child!
if you don't, you will eventually find that you are going to be the next x! and with good reason!
2007-02-05 14:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the words " Order of protection" mean anything to you? Get all of the proof you can about this psycho and slam her with the law!! She sounds like a real nut case. If Mark doesn't approve, too bad. This is your peace of mind.
2007-02-05 14:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by dewdrop034 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋