i have been separated from my husband for over a month now. i have not filed for divorce yet. when i left i told him that i didnt think it would get any better and wanted to leave. i also had another guy(who is staying with me at my new apartment) so when i left i went straight to him. we have been together almost 7 years. lately i have found out that he kinda has a girlfriend. he told me when i left that he doesnt think that he would find anyone anytime soon. and its only been a month and he already has. i realize that i made a huge mistake!! i want him back! do u think that i should talk with him about working on our marriage? or should i just let him go? i have a few dilemmas: what do i do with my new guy? i could never feel for him like i do for my husband and he knows it. also what about my husbands new gf? i've been feeling like i made a mistake about a week before i found out about her. anyway what should i do?????
2007-02-05 13:36:03 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You never mentioned if there were kids involved, any way...that is not the issue right? I would most definitely try to work my marriage out. It takes a long time to meet the right person, you already have time invested in your husband, you already know that he is a good guy?? the grass is always greener on the other side. If you have made a mistake, fess up to your husband, and get rid of the affair. Life's too short to screw up your life for a fling.
By the time I realized I wanted my husband back, it was too late he was dieing of cancer. I would give anything to have him back.
Good Luck to you.
2007-02-05 13:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing, your husband will file for divorce in short order, especially since you've been cheating on him for the past 7 years. Give me a break!! You don't want your husband back, you just don't want anyone else to have him, and it's galling you that he's found someone else so quickly--I'm sure it wasn't too tough for him either, again, considering you CHEATED on him for 7 years. You're no more interested working on your marriage than you are in flying to the moon. You're like a thief who has been caught, and isn't sorry at all he was caught, but is so terribly sorry he's going to jail. GROW UP!!!! This isn't high school, it's adulthood, and marriage is something for adults, not teenagers.
Take this for what its worth, the NEXT time you get married, you might want to remember the bit about "forsaking all others" and "until death do you part." It's people like you who are giving marriage a bad name, and making other people think that it's completely worthless, and it's not!!! It takes alot of hard work (which you don't know squat about), and it takes dedication and compromise (again, 2 things you know nothing about).
Dump the "new" guy too, or just start cheating on him and he'll probably do it for you.
2007-02-05 13:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left him darling and it is best to allow him to have some peace. On the contrary, a marriage is a marriage and until it is final anyone not willing to wait until it is over runs the risk of coming between two people who have taken vows. So with that said, you can as a wife do what ever it is you feel you must do to get him back as long as it is legal. I really do hope that you have learned your lesson and will really appreciate him if he takes you back.
This is why it is important to do all you can before ending the marriage and involving others!
If you two can get through this, it will make your marriage stronger-if he does not accept you back, please wish him well and use this as a learning experience o.k.
Good luck.
Be sure to seek some counseling for yourself if nothing else.
Read the poem:
"Now That’s Love"
I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted
2007-02-05 13:58:01 · answer #3 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck it up girl. U messed up.
You made your bed, now lie in it.
You shouldnt have cheated. Sometimes the grass isnt always greener on the other side huh.
I dont feel sorry for you in any manner. If you were unhappy, you should have left before you found the new bf.
I am glad your hubby has found someone to fill his time and i hope he doesnt take you back.
You need to leave him alone and let him have a chance with a faithful partner. You werent satisfied with him before, you wont be now and will cheat on him again.
Simple fact is this......You didnt want him and now that someone else has him, you cant stand it. If he was still single, you wouldnt be feeling what you are right now. He deserves to be happy. Leave it alone and make what you will out of the bf you have now.
2007-02-05 13:44:42 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get your own place and take some time for yourself to grow up and mature a bit more. I wouldn't worry a lot about the new gf of your husband. She is the rebound girl, and they rarely work out. But, work on yourself for awhile before you become entangled again. Learn who you are and what you want first. Don't drag others into the picture before you are ready for the mature relationship I am sure you want.
2007-02-05 13:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The grass didn't turn out to greener on the other side did it? There has to be some feelings towards you from your husband. If you don't at least give it a try you will regret it for the rest of your life. You may not even forgive yourself for not doing so. Could you live with that for the rest of your life? I wouldn't want to.
2007-02-05 13:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should break up with your new boyfriend if you do not feel anything for him. You should try living alone and finding out who you are and what you really want out of life, before sharing with anyone. Your husband will still be the same man you were married too-If it was really meant to be it will
2007-02-05 13:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the two of you need to talk and put all of your cards on the table. Find out what he is thinking and feeling. Maybe you both need space. Sounds like you both hooked up very soon after splitting and sometimes you just need the time and space alone to think and work out what each of you wants. So talk to him; communication is the only way to get to the bottom of it.
2007-02-05 13:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by libabeinphilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you're one of those "strong women" I keep reading about in these forums. You know when women are dogging the men who "only want sex" and they say men can't handle a "strong woman" Wow I've heard a lot about "strong women" I'm just finally glad I got to answer a question for one. My suggestion. Be STRONG!!!!!!! and go find another STRONG WOMAN and try being a lesbian, they NEVER have these kind of problems
2007-02-05 13:50:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forget about guys for a couple of years. You sound like a naive teenager or something.
Hopefully there are no kids involved in this mess.
2007-02-05 13:43:00 · answer #10 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋