How can I not be a doormat??

Question

Long story short- dating for a year-b/f neglectful. Have had talks. He keeps on doing the same thing over & over! I am not priority in his life. He says he wants to change. Then, won't save me a seat to watch the Superbowl with him!!! Feel sick to the stomach. So frustrated with myself. I really feel like I have given so much in this relationship- but I am CONTANTLY so frustrated. He has no clue as to why I feel this way. He is satisfied with keeping things very convenient for himself. I feel so used & spit out. He has had things so nice & has been very content for a year. I am sick of analyzing & trying. I don't even want to talk to him again- don't want to return any of his calls (not like he will put forth much effort in winning me back). Don't care if people say its bad- I am so sick of doing what is right. Know that leaving the relationship is the right thing to do-why is it so hard? Why do I feel like such a doormat? Tried to do everything right & have a mature relationship

Answer 1

because breaking up is hard to do. start making yourself feel better by taking care of yourself, go get a new hair style and some new clothes forget the jerk! don't be his doormat any longer!!

Answer 2

Well you are telling my story there .. you can't make him change. Unfortunately, he is just not that into you. Sounds harsh, but it was a big wakeup call for me to find that out about my own husband. Get out now while you can. Don't let things get worse and then you feel even more guilty and it is even harder to break things off.

You don't live together; so end it and really END it. Don't take his calls, texts, etc. Don't respond to him, no matter how much you want to. In the meantime, call your friends and have a celebration of freedom! Keep busy with friends, family and work and the time will go by a little faster. Then the more distance you put between you, it should get a little easier.

Answer 3

No person should feel used in a relationship. Trust me, this one won't get better - it can only get worse as the longer you stick it out the more he will take you for granted. As tough as it is to walk away now - imagine how hard it is to walk away in another year or two or three? Worse yet, getting married and having kids together - the ultimate trap! Get out and count your blessing. Lay low for a while - think about the relationship and what was right and wrong about it. Be honest with yourself - remember that it takes two to tango! Accept your responsibility in the good and the bad aspects of the relationship. Then spend time deciding what it is you need from a future relationship and stick to your standards - never settle for anything less than what you deserve!

Answer 4

I have been in your situation, but for quite a bit longer..I was in a relationship like that off and on for over 10 years....all I have to say is GET OUT NOW!!!! The more time that goes by, the harder it is. You become dependent on knowing that someone is there for you, whether or not they are there for you mentally, they are there for you physically.I wish I would have gotten out earlier and not wasted so much time on one guy that had only his interests in mind, and not mine. You are better off without someone like that, and can do much better. If I would have known that there were guys like my fiance out in the dating world years ago I definately would have left! I now am engaged to one of the nicest guys ever...even though nice guys get a bad rep. you should really give one a chance, you will be surprised at how much better you feel....heck...then again. who needs a man...you should really be content with being single for a while before you start back into dating...you will be more selective in finding the person that is right for you! Good luck!

Answer 5

You already know what you need to do which is to leave. The hard part is to get out. All people want to be loved and to walk away can be very difficult because no one wants to lonely. Believe in yourself. You deserve better than this. Walk away and take some time for yourself. Do things that you want to do and understand you do not have to jump into another relationship immediately. Doing the right thing means doing what makes you happy in life. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Right now, it's hard for you because you think no one else will want you once you break up with this guy but that's not true at all. You need to go out and find what you really want in a relationship with someone. This guy clearly won't change unless you try to work on him - have you tried working on him? Anyway, it seems like he doesn't really want to be changed, so just dump and find someone who relates with your struggle who is willing to help you through this. Set boundaries with your boyfriend and let him go to stop feeling like a doormat. Stop letting people run over you and live life like you want to.

Answer 7

O.k Girl,
Here is what you do. You gonna take care of yourself starting today!
Put on a nice outfit. A nice shirt and jeans will even do if you like jeans.
Go to the mall, go to one of the nice stores that have the make up counter and get your face made up. Look at yourself-see how beautiful you are.
Go to the one hour photo and take a picture. Go get something to eat and take your time eating eat because it is your day! Go back and get your pictures.
Now you see what a beautiful person that is on the outside too?! Get a pretty frame and put the pretty picture in it for your desk or night stand because you gonna tell yourself each day and night how lucky the next guy you get is going to be when he gets you.
Now this is about you right now. You been putting the loser before you for a long time and it "ain't about him"!
You gonna let him go. Not because he is who he is, but because who he is is not acceptable to you any longer as of today!
Now read the poem:

"Now That’s Love"

I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted
Do you feel what I am saying to you girl?

Answer 8

Hey girl, been there done that and have the T-shirt. I was with someone for almost 10 years. I left with 2 kids, no job and no money. It is not worth it. He will not change. If you are waiting for that you are waiting on something that will never happen. You are the most important person. Your health and mental well being is more important than anything else. You need to step back and see you without him. I knew when it was time to leave. Is it time for you?

Answer 9

Sweetheart, if you have decided you"ve had enough, then just tell him to p*ss off and dont be his doormat.... Im sure you will find a guy who appreciates you and wants to put some effort into a relationship. Stand up for yourself, and if you keep letting him do the same things and getting away with it - then he WILL keep doing it. Find someone who doesnt have you because its convenient to them, but who wants to spend time with you because they they want to be with you and love you.
Best of luck!

Answer 10

A doormat is someone who would not imagine for themselves, hence they're continuously on the mercy of common opinion. in case you dislike someone, additionally they dislike that human being. in case you want sushi, they prefer sushi. they're the most stressful and pathetic human beings round because they're frequently social rejects and would't understand why. it truly is because they're internally susceptible and could stay that way until eventually they go with to be their very personal human being.