What do you do if you and your husband been married 4 years but seperated for 2 and a half,.?

Question

we are ok with each other know, he still takes care of me and we have 2 children(3,1),and of coarse he takes care of them, he even makes sure i have everything i need, we just recently stop having sex
it's been at least 3 months, and i know that it means he's getting it somewhere else, he even talked about divorce, but we still are married.

Answer 1

Talk to your husband and see where he is with things. See what he wants to do and where he wants to go with this marriage and relationship. Maybe the two of you should go to marriage counseling and try to work your marriage out if at all possible. See if he wants you and the marriage or if he wants a divorce.... Right now he has you hanging on and you dont know what he wants. You need some closure and an answer to what is going to happen to you and to your marriage here.

Answer 2

It DOESN'T mean he's getting it elsewhere... Talking about divorce could be him feeling like it's his last resort since you two aren't working on loving eachother.
Do you love him? If so than start talking...honestly. Make a committment to honor eachother every day! Your children would rather have their parents loving and honoring eachother than being divorced and "friends".
What is the reason you two aren't connecting any longer? TALK... Date...Make the kids number 2 and the two of you number 1...
Get it together for all of you!! A happy marriage is a CHOICE and it doesn't just happen by itself.

Good Luck to you both....

Answer 3

Well, it boils down to do you want to be married or not. What has stopped you from reconciling? Have you talked about why you split up? Has either of you approached the other about mending the marriage?

That's your first decision. You've been separated more than together, so that should tell you something.

Secondly, as a practical matter, get yourself tested for STDs. If you think he's been with someone else, you definitely need to be tested.

Answer 4

Honey, head for a family therapist asap. Because of the children, both of you have to take one last big step and seek help. There had to be love there once; through therapy you may just regain that spark. If not, through a therapist, you both will gain insight on what went wrong and be able to separate and know you did everything you could with a clear conscience. Good luck!!!!!!

Answer 5

This whole thing sounds a little complicated because of what you just said about the sex thing. I understand that you get along and everything but if you find that you get along but since you do I think you need to get the full story from him about sex. Ask him if he's had sex with anyone else and you decide in your mind what you're going to do if he did or didn't.

Answer 6

Seek counselling. Ask yourself what do YOU want. Make clear to him that he must honestly tell you what HE wants, and try to make it clear that regardless of the hurt right now, unless you two come to grips with 'why' you are where you are, the hurt will be nothing compared to the bitterness that will follow. The fact that he is 'getting it' somewhere else tells me that he does not regard you as an intimate partner. Does he still hold that place for you? Get thee to a counsellor.

Answer 7

if hes getting it from somewhere else, than its best to seperate. If he actually did commit adultry, this just speaks volumes about his character as a person, and his sense of responsibility towards his children. financial support is one thing, but moral support is another. Its most important for you to take action so your children will understand the principals of what you did in the past, when they grow up. if your so called husband loves his children, he'll do what he can to not affect them in the long term. I've seen this situation over and over in my family. Its better for children to have no dad, than to have one who is a horrible example. Sorry for my lack of tact...

Answer 8

Hi,

You have to talk to him about the situation. A marriage without sex, means infidelity. Have you ever asked him about divorce too?

Are you happy with this situation?

Answer 9

You both need to decide what you want and what you are going to do. It is not fair to any one.You need to be up front and honest because the only ones that it is going to hurt in the long run is those babies.

Answer 10

If you're not going to get back together then I think he has the right to date. He should of said something first though since your system has been working so well.