divorce or counseling?

Question

well im a guy and like the easy way out, however still attached to the misses, been married for 2 and a half years. its hit rock bottom cant seem to get past fighting, kinda want to get counseling however my wife has vowed to change after every fight, im kinda thinkin even with counseling it will go good then once we get in the comfort zone it will go back to fights... i dont know are there some kinda signs i need to look out for or is this thing over???

fights are
i live an active life style extreme outdoors she dosent. like all diffrent things i make an effort to have fun and do things she dosent and then she says i dont do things she wants to do and im like well what then you let me know and i will take you or go with you, no worries but she dosent ever bring anything to the table only complains......... i dont know its probably all the same fights as a normal relationship but my patitience is wearing thin...

Answer 1

I strongly suggest counseling as if you decide to divorce, the first thing that most divorce Judges will ask is "Did you try counseling?". If counseling doesn't work, at least you two put an effort and the divorce proceedings will go more smoother. Otherwise, the Judge will think that you want a quick exit and it may not be in your favor. She can also accuse you of everything and the Judge may favor her side since you didn't go to counseling.

So, try counseling. If it doesn't work, at least you went through the process.

Answer 2

you probable won't like this answer, however the superb situation to do is to stay jointly, not see or communicate on your male chum, and set company limits to your husband's verbally abusive habit so he's familiar with what you will do if he would not replace. have not got intercourse with your male chum. it extremely is going to basically complicate concerns. This count is between you and your husband first. The "different guy" constantly seems greater powerful....why does not he? in case you separate, you will probable in no way get lower back jointly using fact which you're all waiting turning out to be removed from him. in case you nevertheless have some worrying thoughts for him, you are going to be able to fall in love lower back. he will could artwork not difficulty-free to alter in counseling using fact verbally abusive habit potential he would not take accountability for his very own habit in the relationship. He might extremely blame you. try this so as which you will the two regain your marriage or you would be responsive to which you probably did each little thing you may to hold it jointly whether it would not artwork. try with an basic and stable coronary heart, yet do not take any crap. Set barriers and stable success!

Answer 3

It doesn't really matter who starts the fights. What you both need to do is communicate. My husband and I had it just as bad with the fighting and we hit rock bottom. We did split for a month. and after that month we realized that we didn't have it all that bad. We just like to push eachothers buttons to see how far it went. We missed eachother so much during that month. Now when I get mad, I mean really mad, he just leaves me a lone for five minutes and then comes up and gives me a big hug and tells me he loves me and that everything will be fine. Same goes for me as well. I do the same thing for him when he gets mad. It happens in every relationship. You both need to learn how to cope with the hard situations and your fights won't happen as much. Find out from your wife what you need to do in order not to push her but to help her.

Answer 4

Counseling, even with a trusted, respected friend as a mediator will help. Give it a chance, as there was a time when you loved each other and were getting along well enough to get married in the first place. We get stuck in our patterns and a counselor/mediator/friend can help us communicate in a different way. Take care! Gentle and caring communication.

Answer 5

Try the counseling. There is no downside to trying it and you may learn something and you may not. Try to see someone together and then go seperately as well. Sometimes you are more comfortable alone.

I know all about your situation. I did the counseling and got the promises, but I learned that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Anyone can say that they will do this or do that but unless there's some kind of action things won't get better. Counselling is a first step weather it may be with a counselour, priest, minister... It took me a while to get my wife and I to see some but we did. The wheels got turnning.

Answer 7

I have to say try the counseling and trying to make it work first... If this does not work for you and it only gets worse and not get better then leave and file for divorce but not until you have tried everything you can to save the marriage first.

Answer 8

Good luck on this one. Just saying she is going to change is not enough. She needs to show some real interest. Check out this link.

Answer 9

It's so nice to hear a guy saying that he's thinking about counceling. Seems to me like you're a keeper. What's her prob. anyway?
She could have that angry disorder and it's treatable. Just get her to a councelor and see what they think about it. At the least, you'll know you tried.

Answer 10

I would try counciling. My ex and I tried it and we ended up splitting but I still was able to help MYSELF with my own issues and grow as a person and as a result the break up wasn't as bad as it would have been. Always try before you give up!