My ex is a complete jerk and used me throughout the 3 years we knew each other. I had gotten pregnant before and got an abortion because he wanted it so he could be with his ex. well my dad got orders last year to move to Hawaii July 2007 but i found out im pregnant. i want sole custody because i know my ex will be bad for the kid. he has abused me and i have reported it once before but they didnt grant me restraining order after i showed the bruises he gave me. but he has record of domestic violence from his ex whom he cheated on me with many times. he threatens me all the time that if i dont do what he wants he wont pay me back the 2000 dollars he owes me. he can barely pay rent which i had to help him with even after i had no job and no money. now he wants partial cusotdy of the kid and be able to claim him/her on tax return but wants nothing of us. he wants to do it to hurt me. i have texts from him proving he is vioulent and threatens me. what can i do?
2007-02-05 12:57:56 · 5 answers · asked by carolina d 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Until the child is born, he can not do a whole lot as he can not prove a thing without DNA testing and they can not do that until the kid is born..
Get to Hawaii as quickly as possible. Move early if you have to. Have the baby there. You do not want him around for the remainder of your pregnancy and delivery. The fact that you had to move early can be used as an indication of how much you FEAR him and feel THREATENED by him. If you are in Hawaii at the time the baby is born, he will have to come there to seek parental rights. That will cost him a bundle.
If you can not move early, then do not let him go to the childbirth classes with you or have anything else to do with you in regards to preparing for the baby. Do not accept money. Forget about the $2000. Unless you got a loan document from him, he could say he paid it to you to support his kid. Do not give him any money. You must cut off all contact with the guy. Even if you do not have a restraining order, if you make it clear to everyone you do not want him around and he keeps coming around, you can seek a restraining order later AFTER he proves to be a problem. Keep the location of where you are going to have the baby a secret. Go only with your mom or a close friend. If he does figure out where you are and shows up at the hospital, make it clear to the staff he is NOT the father and is NOT welcome at the delivery.
When the baby is born, continue to deny he is the father. Tell people he was so abusive you stopped having sex with him over a year ago. You could not take the abuse so one night you went out got drunk, forgot to use your diaphragm and got pregnant. Do not let them list him on the birth certificate. When you name the kid, give the kid your MAIDEN NAME as the last name, do not use his.
Now, after the kid is born, to get recognition, he will have to sue in court. Keep in mind, if you are NOT in Hawaii at the time the baby is born, he will be able to seek rights in the state where the kid was born. That could be a real problem if YOU move to Hawaii as it could cost YOU a bundle coming back to defend yourself.
He will have problems finding a lawyer as most lawyers will not work for contingency on this kind of case as there is no real money in it. He will not be able to come up with the money. Lack of money should leave him dead in the water. However,
If he does some how get the money and sues, then you hire a lawyer. Your lawyer can make it clear that if he does win and is recognized as the father, HE will have to pay child support to the tune of $400-500 a month.
Bottom line and repeating:
1. Have the baby in Hawaii.
2. Consistently claim he is not the father.
3. Consistently claim you fear him because he was abusive.
4. Forget about the $2000 and don't take money from him.
Do not get in trouble with the law yourself.
2007-02-05 13:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live but a restraining order is automatic in cases of domestic violence and are in-force until a hearing can be held.
If you are not married to him you can't put his name on the Birth Certificate, nor should you, and by the time he could prove paternity you would be long gone! I doubt if he has the finances to go to court anyway, and I am sure Child Support would be a big issue!
Keep a record of every time he threatens you or does anything in an abusive manner. Report all threats to the police, who will then have a record as well and could come in handy if you needed a restraining order.
If he touches you again, go to the hospital, they will call the cops and usually someone from a crisis center to help you through the process, make sure they document all bruises and whether they are consistent with your account, especially finger marks or other atypical bruises. File A DV! and you will have people there to help you and the judge cannot ignore you! Any judge who ignores a DV situation should not be sitting and you always have a right to turn him in to the Supreme Court in your state! Judges just don't go that unless they are really stupid!!!
Document, document, document!!!!!!
2007-02-05 13:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by cantcu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave with your parents. I am assuming you are a minor. you have full custody anyway because you are not married to him and he would have to establish paternity first before he could go for shared parenting and then visitation then he would have to pay over 50 % of the child's care in order to claim it on his taxes.
2007-02-05 13:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by glamour04111 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
till there's a likely reason he's unable to assist supply judgements with reference to the childs welfare, you will no longer get sole custody. you will get non everlasting sole custody till the courtroom can be sure if the daddy is able to those forms of judgements or no longer. the two way, in case you may no longer come to a mutual agreeance with the daddy, you will could bypass to courtroom and it in many cases takes longer than a month.
2016-10-01 11:59:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just leave this guy for good. You shouldn't have even told him about this baby.
2007-02-05 13:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Gemini Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋