he has in everyway showed me i dont matter to him at all, i started making friends, girls/guys, he cheated about 11 months ago & still with her, blames me for talking to people, he leaves me hanging to go out with her he invites me out but b4 he makes sure he talks to her & wonders why i dont want to go out anymore everything i say to him he doesnt even bother listening, why do i keep begging him 2 love me when its clear he doesnt, why do i jump everytime he says jump? we have 2girls he doesnt even bother not 2 mentioned $$$$. Ii still love him after so much, what can i do, to stop calling him, i worked long hours i take my girls to church, but at the end i still get the urge the need 2 want to speak 2 him. we are married but never did have a marriage, for him his family and friends were always 1st than me & the girls.
2007-02-05 12:54:29 · 12 answers · asked by why 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think first you need to work on your self-steem and start thinking about the life you are giving to your daughters. you are their role model and now you're teaching them it's ok to be cheated on and to be treated like garbage. They will probably do the same thing when they grow up. you seriously need to think about that and figure out why you like this habit of chasing this guy that is not worth nothing. he clearly don't love u or your daughters, so snap out of it and move on with your life. You can definetely do BETTER!
2007-02-05 13:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not suppose to hurt-but sometime it dose-you said that you take your girls to church-well the next time you take your girls to church have a little talk with the Lord in his house and ask him for help-remember he never leave his children and he never fail at anything you put in his hands and leave in there-don't ever take it back let him handle it-remember that you have to love yourself first-look in the mirror and you may like what you see-remember you have two girls to see after and they need you more now than before-don't underestimate them because they are kids they know what is going on and they can feel that you are hurting-they don't want to see you hurting-because they love you-he cheated on you 11 months ago and he is still with the woman-it don't matter to him that you know,because if it did he would have stopped-you and your kids live your life you all have each other-and stop calling him and don't let him disrupt you and your girls life-God Bless you and your girls
2007-02-05 13:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by brown sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did i understand this story right in you saying you are married to a man, but he cheated on you 11 months ago and is still with her but still married to you and asking you out as well? You are seriously lacking in self-esteem hun. You deserve so much better and he is a complete loser for doing this and even worse for expecting you to put up with it. Take control of your life. Dont let this man do this to you anymore.
You deserve sooooo much better. No woman deserves half of what he is expecting you to put up with.
Take a stand today and begin learning to love yourself more than you love him. This isnt love he is showing you.
Stop calling him for any other reason than to discuss your children.
If you feel the urge to call him, phone a friend, or get on the computer and answer some questions on here. I find it will pass the time quickly and it keeps me from calling my ex too.
You can do this, you just gotta change your habits. Find a hobby, and fill your time with something to keep you busy.
Focus on your girls and their needs.
The longer you go, the easier it will get. Your ego is crushed and it simply needs time for repair.
He isnt the one to repair it.
Get out with your friends and meet other eligible men. This doesnt mean you have to date them until you are ready, but a simple conversation with a man can make all the difference in the world.
I wish you lots of luck hun. best wishes
2007-02-05 13:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on without him he sounds like a real loser, you can do alot better.File for a Divorce why are you still there he is gonna give you an STD and you are allowing it.. He is not any good a real man wouldn't think of cheating and would put his wife and kids before anything or anybody..Let Him GO Already find someone else...
2007-02-05 13:02:54 · answer #4 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you say you love him you put up with it. Do you really feel love where your breath gets shallow and your mind fills with wonder full things when he walks into the room?
Didn't think so, you have a dependency, An addiction in a sense,
You feel he is your whole world. Your not in his world , He allows you to continue to contact him probably so you don't seek child support. File for support, meet someone to love you back and enjoy the remainder of your life!
2007-02-05 13:26:38 · answer #5 · answered by dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont call him or talk to him it may be hard but if he cheated on you then dont ever go out with him again havent u ever heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" my bf cheated on me and it took a long time to get over him i finally stopped calling him and thinking about him you should try the same....
if u need any more advice email me so this wont go public...
HOPE THIS HELPS.... i mean it i will reply im here 2 help not get points....
2007-02-05 13:03:58 · answer #6 · answered by Slim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your girls deserve better than to be treated like that.
But unfortunately YOU have to believe that before anyone else will.
Do you want your daughters to grow up learning that it's okay to be cheated on, to be insulted, to be humiliated? That that's how things work, and that's how a relationship should be?
Because that's what you're teaching them by chasing after this guy.
2007-02-05 13:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is with her, and doesn't love u, u need to stop calling him, or seeing him anymore. no matter how much it hurts, u need to keep your dignity. he has already humiliated u in more ways than one. u have a low self esteem, and when someone has low self worth they often do get involved with these types of men who hurt them. stop begging this man who really doesn't deserve u. get some self worth, know that u are far better than this man. he is not your husband if u never got married.
2007-02-05 15:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was stuck in a rut like yours for 7 years. Get out of it. It does not get any better.
Get out and meet new people. Kiss as many frogs as you have to....Prince Charming will arrive. I know. It happened to me.
I am married to the most wonderful man....Life is so good
2007-02-05 13:11:43 · answer #9 · answered by sebe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he will continue to treat you like crap as long as you allow him to.
take the word doormatt off of your forehead, pull yourself out of the pit you have dug for yourself and quit whining about a man that obviously doen't love you!!!
go out and find a good man that will care for you and not treat you so shabby.
people only treat you the way you allow them to treat you!!!
2007-02-05 13:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by KRIS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋