What do you do when your husband of 17 years says he doesn't trust you, and for no good reason?

Question

I have never cheated. Caught him this summer in what I consider an emotional affair. Now he is working 3rd shift...does he think someone is going to come over at 11 p.m.??? We have 2 kids!

Answer 1

Very interesting Question? I am a male and I have been married 7 year. As men when we are not able to be discribe how we feel we start to imagine things. He could be afraid that when he is not there he can not protect you? Or there is somthing that has happen where you might have met maybe an old male friend and he thinks he is competing for you attention. Or it could be he is not happy with his own looks and he thinks that you are wanting somthing better. He is needing somthing that is the honest truth. Validation or to release some stress! when was the last time yall took a vacation?

Answer 2

First off, he needs to trust you until you give him a reason not to. Ask him to really think and give you an answer. Then leave the door open for him to come clean with anything that HE himself has done that makes him on the paranoid side.

If there is nothing, maybe it is something from his past, i.e another woman, that made him jaded with the trust issues.

You need to remind him that you are you, and he married you. So therefore, he needs to understand that marriage encompasses more than just love. Its trust, too.

If relationship counseling is an option for you two, then go that route. Perhaps a professional can help to get to the root of the issue, and help provide you with options on how to resolve it.

Answer 3

First things first..Find out if he has a guilty conscience and is trying to put the blame over on you . Why else would he not trust you after 17 years of marriage?

Answer 4

i think you should sit down and talk to him and figure out the reasons why he doesnt trust you... If he has something to say it will be better if he tells you.... if you dont know why just talk to him, if he is very sensitive try not to bring on questioning to strong because he might take it the wrong way!!!
if u need any more advice email me so this wont go public...
HOPE THIS HELPS.... i mean it i will reply im here 2 help not get points....

Answer 5

Honey it may not be you he might be trying to get the heat off himself.Do you understand what i mean ? Sometimes when people are doing things they have no business doing they throw the heat on you to keep it off of them.Because now you're thinking "what can i do to gain his trust back or what did i do to lose his trust?"And if that not the case,ask yourself if there is anything you have done to have him questioning his trust for you.But you might want to do some investigation if you get my drift.Good luck

Answer 6

There has to be a reason why he doesn't trust you? Did you lie, cheat, steal? People don't usually come out and say something like that unless you did something.

Answer 7

He is feeling guilty ive been with my guy for 4 years and he doesnt trust me because of something he did and is scared i will do it in return. if this is the case dont worry it could just be something he wants or has realised he really needs you and loves you and hopes nothing you do will hurt him.

Answer 8

My guess is he has done something that he is guilty over and now he is blaming you or trying to start something to cover his guilt or to get the attention onto you and off of himself. That is classic cheating behavior.

Answer 9

It could be that he himself is cheating or thinking of it. Did something ever happen in the past to make him think you could be capable of cheating? Maybe see a marriage counselor.

Answer 10

I would figure that he felt guilty for something he was doing and was trying to shift the blame onto me. I think he's the one doing the dirty deed.