My other half and I have been together 5 years and we have 1 child.
Let me start by saying that: I AM OK with us not being married.
WIth that said, I have people around me making me feel like something is wrong with me for tolerating not being married.
My boyfriend is a good provider, he isn't abusive, he is very supportive, and he is a great father. I don't worry about him cheating or disrespecting our family. He is ALWAYS there when I need him.
Everyone knows this....why are my friends suggesting that I leave him?
2007-02-05 12:41:56 · 31 answers · asked by Chica Creole 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have talked about marriage, but I am not in any rush. All of my friends are divoriced and I am 27. I am really scared to get married, to be honest.
As for why I had a baby before I got married: ugh, I don't believe in abortion. So since I was woman enough to have sex, I figured, I'd take care my responsibility.
2007-02-05 12:47:20 · update #1
As for as being self-supporting, I have a degree and a CAREER.
I would never solely depend on my anyone, whether I was married or not. Things happen.
Besides, I would never bring children into this world if *I* could not take care of them.
2007-02-05 14:18:59 · update #2
Because u have something that they don't? If it really works for you and him then don't mess with it....in reality all marriage is is a piece of paper......a true marriage is what you make of it, how you treat each other and your happiness....a piece of paper can't do that.....there are many great couples that have been together for many many years that have never been married....but you wouldn't know it to look at them!!!!
2007-02-05 12:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by unicorns_77 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally dont believe everyone has to be conventional in relationships....different strokes for different folks. I think people should mind their own when it comes to someone elses relationship or bedroom manners. Now on the other hand, did you ask for their opinions? If you did...you just asked for it...and you need to accept their answer. Doesn't mean you have to live what they think but they have a right to answer your question.
I would let em know how ya stand and leave it at that...they pressure you into talking beyond that..ya tell em end of conversation...if that aint good enough...tell em Ill see ya tomorrow. Do not enter into a viscious cycle conversation when response leads to another response...you have to say what ya think..mean it..and move on. you just need to point out that you both need to agree to disagree.
There are plenty of others in the world that live the way you do and gettin by just fine. Personally, I think when I got married, I made a mistake.....my husband came from a fatherless family...he thought once the ring was on the finger..I was owned. He had no father figure to help him form a mold of what a husband should be. It has changed since then, but marriage isnt always the answer.....Bravo for taking responsibility for your child :D You are a credit to this society for that in itself!
2007-02-05 13:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by boodini2@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, both actress Susan Sarandan and actress Goldie Hawn (Kate Hudson's mom) have been in very long-term relationships with their men, and have no intention of marrying. That's fine, because they are self-supporting, well-to-do women who have each been married in the past. It is their choice to do things this way--so it's great for them. As far as I know, all of their children are adults.
Your boyfriend sounds like a great catch--you are lucky to have him. Just the same, if he ever did leave, cheat, stop providing, become abusive, stop being there whenever you need him, or stop being supportive--where would that leave you and your child? Moms need to think about these things--if not for themselves, for the child. Do you plan on having more children? If so, you really should get married first.
Well, that's just my opinion--be happy whichever way you decide to do things.
2007-02-05 14:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ho baby, I am right there with you. I have been in a relationship for 2year and 4 months. We went into this knowing I did not want marriage and neither did he. He is younger. Well lately he wants to have some kind of comment thing for his family cause it's his turn. I say no. We are fine the way we are. Tell you the truth I know I am scared to death. I don't want to marry him. Something deep down inside of me tells me no. So go with your feelings. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. You will know when it is time.
2007-02-05 13:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by SHAy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would, if marriage was what I wanted and the relationship was not progressing. Why waste my precious time?
But, you don't feel the rush to the altar and that's the issue.
If you and your guy like things the way they are, then you stick to your beliefs and marry when you are ready, if ever. No one can tell you when the time is right for you and it's obviously only an issue for people OUTSIDE the relationship. And when it comes to this, they really have no business poking their nose there.
2007-02-05 13:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I do not know what some people's problems are. Anyways...if you are not heart set on it do not worry about it. Sometimes getting married after being common law so long can ruin a relationship sometimes not. It seems that you and your boyfriend are doing great. Who cares what people think around you and online if you are happy with him and he is happy with you and you have a family started do what makes you happy and tell people who are telling you to leave him to butt out. He is good to you and you love each other. Good luck...ignore ignorant people.
2007-02-05 12:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends might think it is HIS decision alone not to be married and not a mutual one. They're probably just being protective of you. Whether or not you want to tell them that you too are okay with not be married is up to you. And if you feel things are fine the way they are, then who cares what anybody else thinks. As long as you feel secure and happy in your relationship, then that is all that matters.
2007-02-05 12:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by destiny21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
other friends can be mettlesome. If you and your other half is ok with the relationship then what anyone else think really does not matter. Don't let others decide what is right for you. A real friend will be more concerned about your happiness rather than the looks of things.
2007-02-05 12:50:23 · answer #8 · answered by Dville 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's so great and he "loves you" WHY wouldn't he WANT to marry you? I think you Both are Semi-committed. Committed enough to have a kid together but not committed enough to make eachother officially bonded by marriage...
perhaps you're looking for an easy escape if the time came? because we all know divorce is yucky!
Unless, due to religious or spiritual beliefs you dont believe in marriage, then...never mind.
2007-02-05 12:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by mzsunrize 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Could be their religious or Faith beliefs.
If you Love one another, stay together, Marriage between two soles is a wonderful thing, but there are times you must do what is right.. The Lord will tell you when it is time, (that is my belief)
2007-02-05 12:50:44 · answer #10 · answered by kevferg64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋