is this a dead end?

Question

he's my bestfriend, and we became lovers. everything was so good, was the best. he thinks that way to. he is a super emotional guy and he says what feels. he is super frank. we had fights, coz i was jealous, coz the friends he has are all girls. everytime we fight i try giving up, but he keeps us together. and last friday, we had a huge fight and he gave in, he gave up. but we got back.. but after a few days, i ask him if he was happy. he said he's torn. and so i let go. but now, im asking him back, he said this would be better and that since the fight, he felt different. he loves me but there's something hindering him from loving me completely. he said he made up his mind and i should have fought for our love when he was still fighting. i know i made so many mistakes but im still willing to make it right. he said that he's lying to himself if we get back together coz ever since that fight everything changed. what will i do? he still says he loves me. bt ts diff now. :(

Answer 1

Please, don't try to make this work. When you have to try this hard to make a relationship work, it will not survive in the end, and you'll both become bitter. You said one thing about this relationship that sealed its fate: " . . . the friends he has are all girls." That, in itself, is a BIG RED FLAG, but you are refusing to see it. Save yourself more heartache, okay, and move on, no matter how much it hurts.

Answer 2

You two have been fighting a lot, did you have doubts too? He may never fully get over "it", so why be with someone when you or he will always have doubts? It will drive you crazy. He is telling you he feels differently and that he is torn. It will be painful but move on. You both will find another chance for happiness. People make mistakes all the time, so stop beating yourself up. You might want to talk to him (without fighting) and tell him that you too have doubts. It will either clear the air or allow for the both of you to find other love. You both deserve to be happy (and that is hard to see and do) when you're fighting and making yourselves miserable. Good luck.

Answer 3

How do you feel? Do you truly want to keep him as a lover and best friend? Is he worth that? If so, then confront him. Everything is NOT going to be according to his plan, his time table, his way of fighting for what is right and good. Sometimes you're going to need time to think things through before you can figure out what to do, that many time just going on your immediate impulses won't be the best thing. And if he really believed in the love you have, if he really and truly loved you, he'd give in just as you have, so both of you can come to the middle and work things out. He's got to open up to you about what is hindering him. If it's just a matter of you needed to "step outside" during the heat of argument, that doesn't mean you aren't as passionately involved in this relationship as he is. It just means you needed to take a breath of fresh air so you can come back with a clean head and heart and focus on what you are willing to fight for. You are an individual, not an extension of him. He's got to get used to the idea that all things are not going to go his way, that he too is going to have to learn to make compromises, weigh what is truly important against those trivial things that won't really count in the long run. If he's "suddenly" finding he cannot love you completely for whatever reason, maybe it's just a lame excuse for not wanting to be part of the relationship anymore, shifting the blame onto you instead of being a man and admitting to that sad fact. We all make mistakes, it's human. But we forgive if we really believe in something, we accept our partner's faults and shortcomings (and learn to protect them, sometimes learn to love them), we work the rough patches out. If he's not willing to "fight" and work for the relationship, maybe he isn't the prince you thought he was--but try working it out, try getting him to talk about it.

Answer 4

Sorry about your problem. Sometimes time apart can change feelings for the better. Of course there is no guarantee, so meanwhile you should do what is best for you and go about your life respecting what he said as if it's what he means. I have learned that it isn't good to waste too much of life pining away for someone that tells you their feelings are changed. When they tell you this they usually mean it. Please don't take offense for my telling you this. It's just that I have had this happen to me and know the pain of waiting. Another thought: Why are all of his friends females? Will this change? I would think it would always bother a woman and continue being a problem for you if you were jealous about it before. What will change? A different situation may be better for you anyway. Good luck to you and may you be happy.

Answer 5

hun listen to me, this asshole is just sweet talking you, he's a guy, i dont mean to sound harsh but in reality, if all his friends are girls, **** THAT! what he's trying to do is go for some other *****, he'll try and keep things calm with you, so you can be backup when his next relationship doesnt work. someone you're with has to love you completely. i think that your relationship probably was going a little downhill, and everything slowed down, and he didnt love you as much. people cant change their mind about something in this concept that fast.

Answer 6

well if he's not willing to get back into a relationship with you again there is really nothing you can do .I say give him some time don't wait on him forever but give him some space to get his thoughts together. Maybe things can rekindle maybe they won't but let it be a lesson learned.

Answer 7

No its not the end.Because i had a good friend then after like a week or two i liked him.want to know why???#1.He sat next to me every day #2. he had a gameboy and now i dont like him and were friends again

Answer 8

you always think things will change. it wont yall will keep fighting no matter what. i have had so many thoughts about my x...but their just thoughts...u always think things can can but they dont...no matter what...so just stay friends...its always nice to have a guy best friend than a bf anyways! they look at you for u and not what you look like or anything....guys can b sweeties...you will always think what if but those thoughts just arent worth it...

Answer 9

This stupid azz question couldn't be more sappy.

Leave the emotional princess and find a real man.

Answer 10

keep trying