He says he wants to stay together but he will not talk to me about this. He will not go to counseling like I have begged him to do. He says it is my problem not his. He says I am the one unhappy and he is not so I should just get over it. I am seriously considering leaving him but don't have the guts to do it.
He is an awesome father. I am not questioning that. He just doesn't love me anymore. I can tell by the way he talks to me and acts towards me. He says it is in my mind.
What should I do? If he will not go to counseling what can I do to save this marriage? Or do I want to.
2007-02-05 12:23:29 · 27 answers · asked by roadtoolong06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you married to MY ex??? That is selfish of him if that is the case..it sounds like you have done everything in your power to change things..and he is not doing his part...actions speak louder than words..leave him and see how he reacts..maybe he will look at things a little different
2007-02-05 12:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No one can honestly tell you what to do with your life cause you have to make that decision. From a similar marriage he has to be with someone else cause there is no guy go without that. If you really truly believe there is no love between you two then it is time to let go of him. That is wonderful that he is a great father,but if your kids are young then they might be able to since that there might be a problem. You have needs to,and not just the love making either cause there is also the need of passion, someone to hold you,and a friend to. Also a few other things to that you may need to. So just look deep inside and you will find your answer -k-. I hope things work out for you the way you want.
2007-02-05 12:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Doll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position. A lot of the questions you ask are questions you and only you can answer. The fact that you say he talks and acts towards you in such a manner to make you feel he doesn't love you anymore.. it a concerning factor in this decision. If he displays this in front of your children, its not a good quality to perpetuate. I believe that the lack of sex between you isn't the only issue here. If he says he will not go to counseling... YOU should go to counseling on your own in order to help you make the choices going forward in either divorce or living this situation "for the sake of the children" (which I believe is not something you need to do).. I wish you luck and am sorry that I cannot answer this life changing question...
Speak to someone... to help you figure this out.
Best of Luck!
2007-02-05 12:31:30 · answer #3 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counselling ALONE if you have to. Just go. Talk to an impartial party who is trained in handling these items.
In the meanwhile, start to save your money in a seperate account from his so that if you DO have to leave him, you're prepared. THis is NOT the first choice.
Go to a therapist and make sure you've done all you can to ensure the success of your marriage for the sake of your children.
2007-02-05 12:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by kerrisonr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to find out what the 'problem' is...is it simply sex? How can it be just your problem? You need to get to the bottom of this. Look at the situation and try to figure out when and what has changed. After the birth of a child? New job? Has his hours changed? Cologne? You need to do some detective work...could it be just in your mind? Don't do anything hasty. You can't save if you don't know what to save.(-i.e. sex, marriage, the whole family etc.) Look for specifics. What won't he talk to you about??? You need some answers. When you find them, then it will become clear as to what the next step should be. good luck.
2007-02-05 12:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Nisey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, deja vu in reverse sex. I went through the same thing. I tried to go to counseling but he said it took the both of us before it could work. She wouldn't go (later found out she had a chemical imbalance).
To make a long story short, we got a divorce. If they can't help with keeping the marriage together then they don't need to be married at all.
2007-02-05 12:35:31 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try going to counselling just yourself. Try to make sure that your being the best partner you can be. Most people who are insecure with themselves project it onto others. If he's not willing to work on things at least make sure that you are doing everything in your power to make sure your working as hard as you can on ur relationship. Just go to counselling by yourself and talk to a professional about the way your feeling in your realtionship and maybe they can help you more than anyone on here can.
2007-02-05 12:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by firstlove021 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling by yourself. Since he considers the matter to be entirely yours, that should not be a problem.
Saving the marriage is not the question on the table yet.
2007-02-05 12:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, do you really want to live the way your living? Is this good for your children? Is it even really good for you? I could never live with my husband if he didn't talk to me or have sex with me or didn't want to see a counsellor to even help our marriage. You say he just doesn't love you anymore, this is not good for either of you. Please find it inside yourself to move along and find someone that loves you. I realize this is very hard but life is soo short you just can't go on this way!
2007-02-05 12:35:07 · answer #9 · answered by classyladyonly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen up...... Life is too short to stay with a deadbeat.
Get out there, find someone who is worthy of you.. When the love dies out, get out.....
Good Luck and happy hunting. Blessings~
I have to ask the question another posted for this question, could he possibly be gay? Hmmm, think about it
2007-02-05 12:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by karen_03625 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋