How would "using someone", differ from "appreciating someones company"?

Question

For example, Abe and Bob are friends. Bob enjoys Abes company and vice versa, whos to say they are really friends and not just using eachother for their own entertainment. I would say there is no difference accept for the negative connotation of the latter. Also, would taking advantage of someone be different from accepting what they offer to you in assistance? Does it all just boil down to our intentions?

Answer 1

I think what you're trying to get at is manipulation. Both taking advantage of someone and using someone have a negative connotation when it becomes manipulative. Appreciating someones company and accepting what they offer you are non-manipulative. Manipulate means "to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage."

But it does all come down to what our intentions are and whether we intend to be manipulative or not. There's a very thin line between the two and thus we all need to occasionally stop and ask ourselves, what are my intentions here? Sometimes, the "using" may seem completely harmless and if you're each using each other in acceptable ways, the relationship may prosper. For instance, Bob enjoys Abes company because Abe always tells him what he wants to hear. Abe enjoys Bob's company because the energy Bob brings to every conversation is intoxicating and Bob always likes what he hears. They're both "using" one another, but they're both completely accepting of it. Two lonely people will often find one another and use each other to keep from being lonely.

Taking advantage of someone is different from accepting what they have to offer. Taking advantage of them would mean accepting what they have to offer and then trying to get more, more often, for less. This is manipulative.

Answer 2

using is you gain your own goal at some ones expense, appreciating some ones company you both gain from the experience. taking advantage of some one is what a coward does to gain his goal, rather than work for his goal Your intentions if they are to only serve you self, or is the intention that your experience be a win win ending for you both

Answer 3

If they enjoy each other's company, who cares? No one would continously be around someone whose company they didn't like. I think the difference with closer friends is that sometimes you are doing things you don't like to do, just because they do, or you are listening to their problems and trying to help them out, etc.

Answer 4

Motive is important but so too is the subtle difference between satisfying your own needs first and foremost and maintaining the careful balance of give and take.

Answer 5

big difference. usin some1, ull noe. u say yes to them all the time, then suddenly u say no, n they get mad, even tho they say no to u all the time!!! annoying, i jus say F*** U 2 n keep on wit my life. my life is happy without fitin dirty 2 get wat i want. karma comes back aroiund to bite ppl like that in the *** anyways so watever..