Am I too nice?

Question

At school, whenever someone wants something, I always give to them. Actually I give so much that they know me as the "monitor". I help everyone with answers and sometimes can't do my own work. And also, on my 13th Birthday, my parents got me nothing and with no party? My dad always gives my 5 year old siter a buck a day, but gives me once in a while and only a buck. Am I too nice to people

Answer 1

Wrong word. "Nice" isn't what you are being. You are a "door mat"--something everyone scraps their dirty shoes on and then just walks away from without thinking any further about it. People learn to take advantage of you because they can and you don't do anything about it, not even speaking out to say, "hey, how about something for me?" You may think it is being nice but no one else does, everyone else thinks it is kind of pathetic that you don't have more self esteem to defend yourself and demand fair reciprocation for things you do for others. Even your own father thinks of you this way--which is pathetic. I've known people, mostly women, like this, grown women, who spend their whole lives being what they think is "nice" but then seething and hurting inside because they feel no one ever appreciates them and many of them (most of them) start to take it out, usually on themselves but not so often on things and people weaker then themselves (pets and children). They do EVERYTHING for the guy they fall in love with yet he just uses them without caring, not even feeling they are worth worrying about their feelings--because they know when they come back in a time of need, that door mat will always take them back and give them EVERYTHING and he won't be asked for anything in return, and even if she did ask for something minor, he can just walk away without feeling any guilt because she's not going to do anything. It's not a good way to be. You can be kind and generous but also know when to say "no, I don't think so" and when to say, "Dad, since my sister gets an allowance, it is only fair that I also get one commiserate with my age and needs" (you should have an idea of how much that should be by asking your friends). Don't just sit there remaining silent--your inner you knows when you've been cheated so voice it--you don't have to do it in a nasty manner. Just pipe up with, "it's my birthday, I'm officially a teenager, it's a milestone and I'm hoping for ____ (whatever it is you would like as a gift) and a small party with a few of my friends would be nice too" so at least your parents know you are expecting something. If your school mates don't come prepared, too bad, you do not have to provide for the world. Occasionally you can give a close friend an extra pencil or something but not all the time--you are not doing any "nice" favors by not making these people responsible for their own selves. A lot of people will no longer like you once you stop providing everything to them for free, but those people were never your real friends anyway. The ones who really like you will remain your friends, respect you for having enough confidence to stand up for yourself. It's better you start now rather than try to change as an adult.

Answer 2

It's seems like you might be being a bit of a pushover. DON'T BE A DOORMAT. Being nice once in a while is great, but nobody likes someone you can walk all over. Just think before you do something. For example, if the person who's failing the class asks you for answers again, tell 'em that they should figure it out themselves. That way they aren't so dependent on you.

Answer 3

There are two questions here: Are you too nice? and Are your parents not nice enough?

I don't know. If you're not getting your own work done, then I guess you are too involved in other people's questions. Let them figure it out for themselves.

Yeah, that's pretty lousy to get nothing for your birthday.

Talking to a counsellor would be a good way to learn how to get good people in your life who treat you well and are people you can both give and receive with.

Answer 4

If anyone wants something, don't just give it. It is like greed taking over you, and while you spend your money on people who want greed over everyone's things, don't even let a buck. That can increase to your favor, and while it grows, you'll be able to live a finest life everyone else ever lived. I have greedy people who want and want, and still give little and none at all. Anyone loves money always has little. People who take your money has something worthless to spend it on. And someday you'll never like it and never give again.

Answer 5

You are very nice, I have a similair problem. Be nice, but you have to realize when people are taking advantage of you. Make sure you get what you deserve, you are a nice person and you deserve the love and affection that you give out.

Answer 6

Hi!!! this is the same situation with me,actually i am new in the school so to make friends and to be nice i have to share with everyone that's so mean becuze i will then get nothing in return....by reading your question i agree with your situation.You are too nice.

Answer 7

Not to nice but nice. I'm the same only I give people everything including money and I do there homework and not my own
so I'm like half falling so you aren't so really nice.

Answer 8

no it the way god made you,an in the long run you get a lot more back in time,but you may want to think of your own need too, into day world their 2 type of people, the giver an the taker

Answer 9

Yes!But if you decide to change this SOME,you'll end up changing it ALOT.I am not saying that you should not change this.
try to change it.PLEASE.that way,on your sixteenth birthday,you will get two gift instead of one.

Answer 10

welcome to the real world.

I never get what I deserve.

Just focus on getting laid and getting paid. Actually nevermind keep that in mind though when you turn 19