My question is for those of you who have a child with an ex-spouse and then have another child with your new spouse. Did you deal with any resentment from the first child? Do you feel that you love this child more? I know it may sound like a silly question but I'm curious because I'm sure my boyfriend and I will have to encounter this in the future and I wonder how it worked out for others.
2007-02-05 12:01:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I used to work with someone who has this exact situation. To add to it- the new spouse also has a child from HIS previous marriage. The family has learned that they can all function together because they need each others strength and help to get through the difficult times. They are all going through the same thing, and they are doing it together.
I work at Barnes and Noble, and lots of divorced moms who are getting remarried but have kids already ask me for a book that might help this situation. I give them this title:
Step Wise: A Guide To Family Mergers
Good luck and God-bless!
2007-02-05 12:22:55 · answer #1 · answered by surfandtrf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a 11 and 9 year old from a past relationship. I have a two month old with my current hubby. My 9 year old daughter thinks the baby is the best thing EVER invented. My 11 year old son could care less. I don't think there is any resentment but 4 sure i make a effort to spend time with the older kids ALONE we go to a movie or the mall. You only cause a resentment if the other kids feel ignored. My hubby takes the older kids out with just him and them. I in no way love the baby more acually in a way i love the older kids more because they have been here longer i know them better we are all just getting get to know the baby.
2007-02-05 12:10:08 · answer #2 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband had a child from a previous marriage. We adopted a child together, had a child together, and we are now adopting again. Besides th fact that we must be CRAZY, it has been fine. The oldest is jealous of the adopted child, but she says it is because she is good at everything, good grades and everyone likes her. That really is true, the the oldest is tall, black hair, beautiful, and everyone loves her too. That is the only problem we have had, but now that they are older it's ok.
2007-02-05 12:06:47 · answer #3 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I even have been married now for extraordinarily much 15 years. We each and each had 2 teenagers. We went to a marriage counsler in the previous we've been married and by no potential lived mutually. the 1st 5 years have been a severe undertaking yet we the two went into it understanding it would be. Come on you're conversing approximately 2 distinctive families with distinctive rules and suggestions for elevating toddlers. i assume besides the incontrovertible fact that I comprehend your frustration, i do no longer see the form you may desire to probably be waiting to thrown in the towel after some months. feels like somewhat some the issue is that the strains of communique have truthfully been disconnected and that i propose you artwork on that by some severe counseling. it is going to truthfully help you in the long-term. It additionally seems such as you like putting his teenagers down, who via ways had no determination in choosing you for a step-mom and are probally appearing out simply by fact of it. #a million you may desire to cool down! a lot of folk bypass by and experience the form you do yet you have have been given to attitude the sitituation once you're no longer so indignant. Get help now so which you would be able to comprehend one yet another and get a extra appropriate potential on a thank you to strengthen your loved ones mutually. in case you do no longer kiss this marriage stable-bye. stable success!!
2016-10-01 11:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh yes i have a daughter with my ex and she lives with him.She has made comments that i love the new baby more than her,thats not true but i am closer to my baby because my ex took her away from me for two years and i just now get to see her on a regular basis.So the fact that i am closer to my baby is not my fault my husband has paid about 6,000 dollars in lawyer fees so i could get custody it didn't work so i feel guilty sometimes but at least i tried.My husband also has a daughter with his ex and i definatly don't love her more than my baby or even equal there is no way humanly possible you can love someone else's child especially when its a kid with your husband and his ex.We work thru it they only come every other weekend so its ok.
2007-02-05 13:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raised my ex-wife son who was 6mo when I met her. We had 3 more kids and we all felt like 1 big happy family. No one was treated any different. I'm sure I'll be with another woman with kids someday and I'm sure I'll treat them no different than my biological kids. If you love the woman, you will love her kids too ,as they are her flesh and blood and you love everything about her!
2007-02-05 12:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by dan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had kind of the same thing happen to me and the kids are fine. I find that the adults are the ones with the problem..LOL...Kids will be fine as long as you treat them all the same and don;t make a big deal of it!!
2007-02-05 12:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are your children, you will love them all equally.
2007-02-05 12:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be nice to both, their kids.
2007-02-05 12:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋