A quick question?

Question

i am 22 years old and still a virgin as in my teenage years i had problems dealing with some personal issues which meant i wasnt into all this as a teenager.
I guess now i have come up to this age, i have decided to only to do it after i get married. I know its not common for people to think like this and when i was asked this buy a close friend i felt kinda embarrassed saying it. I am just wondering what people think of this?

PS i am male

Answer 1

it no ones business what you do

Answer 2

I think the problem with it is that many people consider sex to be an important part of the process of getting to know someone you would think of marrying. Just like most people wouldn't marry someone without knowing their occupation, their hobbies, their values etc, many people would think that the intimacy sex affords allows you to know a person in a way that would affect your decision to marry them. For me that's definitely true, but i wouldn't say that it's necessarily true for everyone.

You may have trouble finding a woman that will wait, but if you did find one, they are more likely to view sex as you do, and so waiting until you are married might not present any later problems.

I wonder though, from what you've said, if you want to wait because you are afraid of sex, and/or a little ashamed of your inexperience. I may be completely wrong there, but if not, you should realise that you're really still very young, and plenty of women your age and older are just as inexperienced, and it's really not all that difficult ;).

Also, marrying someone out of love goes so far beyond sex, that if you've never done it there's the risk that it will be almost TOO important in your marriage.

Overall, I think you should definitely wait until you love and trust someone and FEEL loved by them. But maybe you should keep an open mind about waiting for marriage, and examine your reasons. Try talking to your friend even if you're embarrassed.

Ultimately, you have every right to wait if you truly want to, and no one has the right to judge you. Just be sure you DO truly want to.

I'll stop rambling now!

Edit: thankfully it's all interchangeable and i have amended all gender references accordingly ;)

Answer 3

I think its fantastic. Personally, i wish i had waited. i made the decision to wait until the age of 18 at least. I stayed true to this, and found myself and one other girl to be the only virgins in high school. I think people get too wrapped up in many things. When you focus on sex, it leaves very little to be learned about the true person. You simply dont get the whole picture.
Dont worry about what others think. If this is a personal choice of yours, then how does anyone have a right to think its a right or wrong idea.
I do hope you find the love of your life, without all the hub bub of sex interfering in it. I honestly think there is something to be said about learning someone before the act of sex is brought into the mix. Sex between two people who are truly in love is a wonderful experience. All too often, its shallow and engaged in casually.
Congrats and Good luck in love and life.

Answer 4

It's no big deal.You should do what makes you feel the most comfortable.One thing that to many people do is rush into sex before they are ready.This causes allot of problems later down the road that can be very dramatic to a relationship.To many young adults today are using sex as an easy out let to just have fun.They want the sex but no strings involved.I think this makes you numb to the feelings of a real relationship.

Answer 5

It's all down to your own personal choice you don't even have to tell people your intentions to save yourself till after your married. Many people exaggerate they sexual activity for supposed respect from their peers especially during those adolescent years. Unfortunately a lot carry this trait through life with them. However don't feel pressurised either way. I hope you have found a way to over come your personal issues and they won't be hindering you future good luck

Answer 6

Good for you! This is a very personal choice you've made and it's not up to anyone else to say whether it's a good idea or not. You may be in the minority, but the majority have plenty of dysfunctional hang-ups and divorces, so the majority may not be right on this one. Go with your heart and you won't regret it.

Answer 7

Honestly l feel it is personal choice. You should not feel embarrassed at all about the choices you make. After all it's your life and you do what you feel is right for you. Only you will know when the time is right. Do not allow peer pressure to make you do anything you do not want to do. Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

I think there's no reason to make such a big deal out of it either way - if you find a person you like, you might change your mind, and there's nothing wrong with it. Do what feels right to you. I think, relationship experience is always good, including sexual experience.

Answer 9

It's a personal choice sweetheart, there's no need to feel embarressed. People these days are too eager to start experimenting sexually. It is a beautiful gift to bestow on your new husband. Good luck.xx

Answer 10

oh girl.....you should be so proud of yourself for this!i give you a pat on the back!! sex is given away so freely these days. and it shouldnt be. yes, im speaking from past experiences. now that im older i understand this and to me, a one night stand is nothing....to have someone you love and they truly love you...touch you in that way is great, you cant beat the feeling you get. so to wait is soooooo right!! stick with it, you'll make us parents proud.

Answer 11

hello eve, that is wonderful decision u made, your husband to be will always respect you for that. Hope you meet some1 perfect that will understand the true meaning of a marriage.