i have been dating this great guy in his 30s.hes fun,likes to do the thinds i do,caring,exellent dad,hard worker ect.the problem is hes divorced with an only child that he has 50% of the time thats really spolied and demandes my bfs attention all the time.plus his exwife is in your face, golddigger type,still calls the shots,jealous of me,and calls my bf consently for the smallest thing regarding thier son which leads into personal things about her.now add he has 20k in debt and with a huge child support payment,plus pays most of daycare and health care.should i bail or is this just what you have to deal with datting a divorced man?
2007-02-05 11:39:37 · 14 answers · asked by heather97greener 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is what dating divorcees are like. But tell him that his ex-wife should take there kid on the weekends you want to be along with the two of you and that his ex-wife should call on of her friend or family with her problems and not him. If he truly cares about you than he will take into consideration of what you are feeling in your relationship. Hope this could help you some!
2007-02-05 11:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to tell ya, I been through this, but you have to ask your self' if you can handle it because its tough but if you love him, it will be worth it and if its just a thing' then don't put your self through this. I ended up doing this... (it might not work for you so keep that in mind)I made friends with her, wow and it was hard cause between you and I she sucked' but hey i was civil hes a good dad, that's great that shows charter but you all will have to deal with each other for a long time so best to make so called friends(its much easier this way) for you, and him and best of all the child, also never talk neg. ever about the child's mother in front of the child' its not nice , but ya don't want that ever to be a issue, Make limits you wont cross and think of it this way. If you were divorced and you were the ex-wife, and you had a precious son or little girl' how would you want another women treating your child and you know it would be better for the child if there is no stress between you and her' good luck let me know how it go's
2007-02-05 20:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by That girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are your true feelings for the guy? Are you willing to take all these things into your relationship full time, because they will not go away. The child will always be in his life and he will always have some kind of relationship with his child's mother, good or bad. It is hard enough to begin and retain a good relationship, it takes a lot of work and sacrifice, but to add all the things you have mentioned, would really be hard work. Is he worth it to you? Only you can decide. Good Luck
2007-02-05 20:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by mamaonetexasone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship between the single dad and his kid, or a single mom and her kid for that matter, is a sacred sacred area, and should always be allowed to come first. And because there was a child born from your bf's previous union, the mother of that child will always be in the picture to some degree. It takes a strong, secure, selfless, and patient person to step into that mix and it sounds like you are already sick of it just at the beginning of the dating stage. Trust me, I have seen it only get worse over time in these divorced with children situations. You have to ask yourself if you can accept the other people who are in the relationship (his kid, ex-wife) and the fact that your bf will be pulled in their directions often.
2007-02-05 20:06:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love the man then you must deal with his family especially if it concerns his child. His child will always be his #1 priority so you can never try to change that. For the ex sad but true she will always be in his heart and a part of his life cause the kid, yet she shouldnt tell him all her probs. but it sounds as though they are still friends for the kids sake which is the best for him. So if you want him deal w/ it or move on before you get too attached, love conquers all.
2007-02-05 19:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by ~chopperwon~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can determine if it's too much for you to handle. At least, he is a good dad and is there for his child. But you will need to work with him to set some limits in your relationship. If you cannot come to a reasonable compromise, I suppose it would be time to bail.
2007-02-05 19:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by T Time 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd call this way too much baggage. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? If not- move on and find a man who has better family values, takes his wedding vows seriously, and makes better choices in woman. Just bail. Don't recycle the dregs of some other woman's broken family. Start you family with a clean slate so YOUR kids don't have to visit their own father.
2007-02-05 19:44:11 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Bail, if only because he doesn't have his act together.
Think of his baggage this way: THE LOCKS ARE BROKEN AND EVERYTHING FALLS OUT ALL THE TIME. You wanna' be a girlfriend or cleaning lady?
2007-02-05 19:44:52 · answer #8 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel like you can let him go and move on then do it.But if you love him and want to share his burden of debt and the ex and most important the child then he is for you.I myself would move on and hope for greener grass on the other side.Good luck.
2007-02-05 19:45:51 · answer #9 · answered by summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either Bail or ask yourself this--WHAT AM I WORTH? are you prepared to be involved in such stickiness? TAKE YOUR TIME AND TRULY DIG DEEP
2007-02-05 19:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by Vanessa N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋