How could I become a better listener? I just zone out when having conversations.?

Question

I recently noticed that I have difficulty in listening to others. I always thought I was a good listener. It seems that when I am conversing with others, and they are talking, I begin to drift into 'la-la' land. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what they first say, and ignore what comes after that.

Answer 1

Try this. When the person is talking to you, think about how what the person is saying can relate to you - e.g., have you had an experience like that? What would you do in that situation? That helps you to keep your mind focused on the topic.

Answer 2

It takes genuine interest to become a better listener. I congratulate for having the taken the first step already, in acknowledging that you have a problem. Here are some of important facts that might help you acheive that.

1.One of the biggest reas conversations we are pre-occupied but what we have to say that we loose track of what other person is saying. For example : In conversation with strangers, you are too anxious to make a good impression and think of what to say next; losing their input.

2. Taking genuine interest in the other person is important. For example, ask yourself questions like - what makes the person tick, how does he feel?, what does he mean by what he says, what makes him happy etc
This will not only make you focus on what he says, but will give you loads more information on how to proceed further in the conversation

3. Give close attention to body language. Check for congruence in what his body posturing says and words being spoken. This will give you make you not only a good listener, but also get good at reading people. Very powerful combination.

4. You Should focus on non-verbal communication. Itonation, pitch etc. if you have a particular difficulty in focus.

5. Remember, the universal law "less is more", holds for communication as well. It is much better to be a man of less words; you will be taken seriously when you want your opinon expressed.

6. Learn and acquire skills like empathy; will help to bond with the person better. Ultimate truimp in listening.

7. Practice, Practice, Practice in everyday conversations and internalize concepts.

You will be well on your way...

Answer 3

I often used to do the same thing...the way I try and deal with it now is to really concentrate and zone in on the person I'm speaking to....it's hard but just go with their conversation and try not to analyse too much about what they are saying until after they've finished speaking.
.....cos after all, you know yourself - you'd hate it if other people didn't listen to you!
I don't suppose you're a Gemini or Cancerian?

Answer 4

You might have adhd/add. You might feel disattached and might notice you don't have as much emotional reciprocy or don't care about what people are talking about. Inattention goes along with emotional problems with adhd/add. Maybe what they say isn't interesting because you aren't experiencing all your emotions so when people communicate with you lose interest because it might be an emotion based chat rather than intellectual. It depends on your interest on the topic also. I EXPERIENCE THE EXACT SAME CRAP and that's what I have and it applies to adhd/add inattentive type. BUT you want to know how to stop this. Talk back to them immediately, listen like your are going to respond. Have the intention of responding to things they say and don't simply observe and hear them talk.

Answer 5

no offense, but in my opinion you only care about urself. and thats why ure acting that way. but thats ok if u really2 wanna change. first, try to appreciate ppl more, then respect them n lastly, hopefully u can care for them. and if u do, u can certainly becaome a really2 gud listener. gud luck.

p.s. girls like it more when her boy is sensitive, appreciative, respectful n gud listener so she can rely on u.

Answer 6

Mabe you have AADD. Get checked out.

Answer 7

"So, what I hear you saying is..." is a good technique to use.