Single Moms. I have been dating a single Mom for about 6 months but cant stand the child?

Question

The woman is sweet caring and intelligent and gorgeous. She has this annoying crying kid with this loser ex of a husband that never worked and basically abused her emotionaly and financially and now I have to clean up this guys mess?? He hasnt paid any child support by the way and you know the kid will tuurn out to be a nightmare when he gets older and basically make my life miserable for eternity. I just dont understand why woman put themselves in these abusive relationships to begin with. They must not give any thought to the possible ramifications later in life. It makes them virtually incapable of having a healthy normal life complete with healthy rellationship. IM neginning to quesdtion if there really is such a thing

Thanks for any answers

Help??

Answer 1

Umm if you like her then you have to get over the fact that you dont like her son... If you have her, her kid will be there with her. So learn to start loveing him!!!!

Answer 2

My first bit of advice is to never tell her this. Whether you think it or not that is a terrible thing to say. Not all kids are perfect, her kid really might be great but just uncomfortable with the fact that another man is trying to take the place of his father. Understand that that is why the child is acting out and it will make it better. As far as the woman your dating, she may have been at a difficult time in her life when this occurred. The guy may seem like an obvious loser to you but he may have made her feel comfort when she needed it. Don't blame her for the choices she made in the past. If you love her you would be able to look past whatever type of baggage she comes a long with.
There is such a thing as a healthy relationship but not if you look at it the way that you are. You and this woman could have a completely healthy relationship despite her ex husband or their child together. Relationships are what you make of it and what you're willing to contribute.

Answer 3

ok, two sides of the coin. You could leave her because you dont like the kid because the child bothers you. That would be one way to go about the situation OR

You mentioned that the ex was a loser and abused her..maybe the ex wasnt so great to the child either. Maybe the child needs someone too...Yes, youa re right the child is not your responsibiilty, in fact, you could leave the child in the dust along with the woman, but I really see this in a different way.

It wont be instant, but the childs behavior can change with love, understanding and let the child see that you are going to be good to his mother. He may have had a bad time listening to all that was going on in the house with his father and mother and that is why he is the way he is...You can show him how to be good, repectful and a good guy. Cleaning up this guys mess...might be a good thing..for the kid and mom...

My son had some issues..I was divorced and my husband came into the picture..it was the best thing for my son..he is 14 now..QB football team..plays basketball..has a lot of friends..all around good kid..thanks to hubby...

Answer 4

Well first of all you need to turn your switch on low there guy!!

You knew what you were getting into when you met her.She had to of told you see was a mother.You should of thought about the outcome of a possiable realtionship before it started.It is called thinking ahead.You don't have to love the child but you must respect her and the child as a package.

Second of all it is none of your buisness who, why, and how of any realtionship before you came along.Her past has nothing to do with your realtionship.When you get into a realtionship the men do not have asshole written on their foreheads,either gender is wonderful in the beginning.It's when you learn what they are like after time dating that you really know them.It sounds to me that she made a bad decision with her ex.So what there are lots of people who do.I'm sure you are not perfect either or you wouldn't have been single and available to date her in the first place.It takes two people for a divorce or seperation to take place.

How the child will turn out is none of your concern.She is the parent and she will handle it.And if the child is young how do you know that they will grow up to be a problem?

You are the second Mr.Wrong for this poor woman!!!!
There are single,caring,sweet,intelligent and gorgous women out there without children do this woman a favour and go out and find yourself one you will both be happier.

Answer 5

You should stop seeing her. You laid it on a very little kid very hard from what you said about the kid and the father. So are u expecting the mother to dump the kid for you? No, you are just mad that the kid is in the way, such an inconvenience!! And that is a very selfish thing you are doing to a defenseless kid. Question your own soul before you criticize others.

Answer 6

The bottom line is if you don't want to deal with the kid, break up with the woman. Regardless if it's fair, or if you like the kid...the child and the mother are a package deal. All or none. You need to choose if the relationship is valuable enough for you to put some investment in helping the child...if not, then you need to walk. Good luck!

Answer 7

I have seen many a couple, where one does not like the others child, and each and everyone has ended. A child knows who loves and cares about them and when a new person comes into their lives and they feel that contempt, believe me, they play it for all it is worth. I am not telling you to get out, but you need to work out the situation with the child before you make any long term commitment. Good Luck

Answer 8

if her and her child were in this relationship for a long time maybe she doesnt know how to live any other way or how to raise her child any other way,you have to find out if she thinks there is a problem and if she wants to change the way she raises her child,you need to remeber the children learn what they see its not the childs fault and also some ppl dont want to change,not everyones idea of healthy or normal is the same

Answer 9

If you cant handle her child, you need to leave her alone and let her get on with her life. If she is a real woman, she would never choose you over her child and so you need to not put her in that situation.

Find a woman without a child and you wont have that problem, I guess.

Answer 10

As any single parent will tell you, they're a package deal. Judging her ex is not for you to do. Whatever conflicts they have are between them. If you can't hack the kid, get out of the relationship. You'll never be able to separate them, and you shouldn't try.

Answer 11

Well, just because you can't stand the child right now doesn't mean that he/she is a lost cause. If you really care about this woman and want to be with her then you are going to have to find a way to care for her child as well.