I have dated him for 8 months. We went to A LOT of public places during our relationship. His wife caught me with him at his place of business. He packed his stuff and moved into his parents home, temporarily. He does call and come over, but not as much as he used to. He claims he is protecting his son, whom is 8. He told his son he is taking take of his parents, so that when he tells his son we are together, his son does not hate me for breaking apart their marriage. We do have a bank account together, a dog, and most of his clothing is here. Since his wife found out, he is somewhat in limbo. He claims it is to protect his son. He said the end is near with his wife. She filed papers. How long do I wait for him to be with me? We are planning on moving to Florida in 6 months and starting over. He still is making plans to do so. Do I believe him, or move on?
2007-02-05 11:26:45 · 17 answers · asked by Kim J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has filed for divorce!! He is living at his parents, I talk to his mom 24/7 and he calls from their phone. If he is not there, he is here with me at night. I think the future looks brighter. He is 45, I am 38. My first husband cheated on me. I know how it feels. I do feel sorry for his wife, but when you fight 24/7 and can't be in the same room, obviously there is NO love there!! Thanks for all your help!!
2007-02-06 02:30:12 · update #1
Past behavior predicts future behavior. Please be careful. This man may do the exact same thing to you.
2007-02-05 11:31:26 · answer #1 · answered by R P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unlike some of the women who have posted. You should not take the blame for "breaking up his marriage". After all, he was the one that made the vows to her, not you. Know that you will NEVER be rid of either the wife or the child. Even if he gets divorced he will probably be paying sposal and child support.
You wrote the answer yourself. You quoted him as saying that "the end is near". Shouldn't the end have come and gone before he got involved with you? Tell him that if he wants you, he needs to clean up his mess. Then give him time to do it. If and when he gets divorced, if he cares for you, he will come for you. Regardless of where you are. If not, you learn something from this experience and move on. You sound very young. Too young to be going through something like this.
If he were a mature and responsible person he would have been open and honest with his wife about not wanting to be in the relationship anymore. If he does this to his wife will you really be able to trust that he won't do this to you in future? Can you really be sure he is at his parents home and that he didn't move back home to be with his wife and son?
2007-02-06 01:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by isis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Married men are lame. 9 times out of 10 he is still trying to hold onto his marriage. If you haven't seen any court papers for him to go to court, Don't waste your time. For one if he cheated on her with you. There's a good chance that he will continue that pattern with you. It's not healthy getting involved with a married man. The are a lot of open doors when you get yourself tied up into this kind of relationship. Until he comes to terms that his marriage is over then and only then will there every be anything between the two of you. That's if he decides he wants to be in another serious relationship. It's hard to say. I say go with your gut feeling .. But do one thing, close that joint bank account.
2007-02-05 20:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by Seanette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way l see it, you have done the damage already in his marriage. Please yourself what you do now. l honestly couldn't care less. Who cares whether you can believe him or not !! You have got what you deserve and l hope he cheats on you also. Or better still him and his wife work things out and you are thrown in the rubbish, where you belong. l hate cheaters. Can you tell ?? And yes l have been hurt and know first hand what his wife is probably going through now. l just hope you learn that also. By the way my husband did come back to me and now we couldn't be happier, l wish the same disappointment for you, you home wrecker !!!!!!!!!
2007-02-05 19:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either way, you are dumb to share an account with him. The account (and your money) will be subject to "discovery" during the divorce, if it ever takes place. His wife will accuse him of hiding money and your money may be taken away as his. You are being used and lied to, plain and simple. Then again, you took the chance of dating a married man, play a part in breaking up a family, and don't really deserve sympathy either.
2007-02-05 19:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I understand you "love" this man, but legally he belongs with another women. I don't even know why you started a relationship with a man who was unavailable. Men will almost say anything to do whatever they want.
So if you want to wait for this man so you can start over and be his one & only then go ahead. But if you want to have your own man who isn't attached to someone else...look elsewhere.
His behavior right now is suggesting "He's just not that into you"
Sorry my answer sounds a little harsh. I am sure you can find someone better.
2007-02-05 19:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by MontichegoGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life would be a better place if people didn't cross that line of dating married people.They have enough on there plate to deal with muchless getting into another relationship. There are 3 adults involved here and all have feelings along with the children. You have crossed that line please be careful too many feelings and hearts can be broke.
2007-02-05 20:03:26 · answer #7 · answered by ipoundiron 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, I think I answered your question earlier, but thank you for the update and extra info. it does help.
I don't trust this man, and I don't even know him! you have to do what's right for you. this relationship has already caused a lot of pain, and now it's causing you a lot of worry and confusion!
it sounds like he's making excuses for staying away from you. I can't tell you what to do, but don't get your heart set on being with this man. because he may move on without you, I'm not sure. but he should be letting you know where things stand. and you shouldn't be left not knowing what's going on. demand some answers from him, and if he doesn't give them to you, move on and forget about him. and he cheated on one of his wives with you, and that tells me that he will do the same thing to you. just take care of yourself and stand up for yourself where he's concerned. right now, you're stuck, and you shouldn't be, he's doing exactly what he wants to do.
Take Care of Yourself!
2007-02-05 19:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's protecting his son but then is moving away from him to Florida....sounds fishy to me. No matter what he wants his son to think, his wife can always tell him the truth as well as other family members.
2007-02-05 19:31:46 · answer #9 · answered by Raven 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he say I can love more than just one person. but I love you
both the same. if he has run run fast. before you get your heart
broke. do not have a bank account with guy. Also he may have
more just one other woman. I know you want to trust him.
cause you care. but think about it what has done or said that
you can honestly trust. take care.
2007-02-06 01:17:53 · answer #10 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A grown man like that going to live with his mama. Why didn't he get his own place? And then lying to his kid. If he lies to his own flesh and blood, what makes you think he's not going to lie to you? Tell him the end isn't near, it's already here and he's history.
2007-02-05 19:33:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋