Should I divorce?

Question

My husband and I are young i am 21 he is 25. Weve been married for 1 1/2 years. Weve been together for atotal of 5 1/2 years. Hes constantly mean to me and I of course get angry and take it out on our 2 young children! I take care of the kids all alone because he works and goes to school. And i feel I am already doing everything on my own should I divorce and go on my own? I already have him staying with his ma for a while! Plaese any advice helps?

Answer 1

It's time for a divorce. You were young when you married and it seems as though you do not have the same love and respect for each other as you used to, at least he doesn't love and respect you. Unless things change, which I'm sure you've already given it more than enough time to do so then divorce him.
It's not worth it to stay in a relationship that you are not getting anything out of. You take care of the children by yourself. You don't need him. You or your children shouldn't have to put up with it.

Answer 2

I am 22 and my husband is 24..We have been together for 5 years married 3 of those years and have 2 wonderful baby boys..
Girl.. If it is Physical abuse get out right away and if you still want to be with him.. MAKE HIM get some kind of help why you and the kids stay some where else! If it is just him being "Mean" because you didn't do the dishes then talk to him about it! I know how hard it is staying home with two kids and not getting any "Adult Conversation" then when he gets home "I'm to tired". But if he is working to support you and the kids and going to school to get a better job for you and the kids.. Try to understand .. And if it gets to much try to go on a vacation together! Maybe just a weekend at a local hotel away from everyone and your house! And always remember them kids cant take up for them self's you have no right taking it out on them! If you couldn't handle kids then your should have thought about that! I am not trying to be rude just honest!

Answer 3

Before you choose to divorce- your husband perhaps you should look at the pros and cons of this divorce. Will this leave you with a lot of financial burden?Will you and your children be in a stable environment once this is complete?. I think you and your husband should really find some time to talk about how you two are feeling, by writing a list of things that you both need to improve on-such as communication, spending habits, cleanliness, time management -whatever the case may be. Exchange your list and work on each goal one at a time. Arrange time in the evening to talk to him about his day at work and school, because it seems to me that he is a little stressed about his hectic schedule and has no time or anyone to vent to about is ongoing life issues. And be sure to include yourself in this conversation, about things you did today and stuff you'd like to try and see where that gets you. I also understand that you have him staying at his Mom's house- that is fine sometimes separation is good, but it seems to me that you stashed him away for a few days or so to cool off,but didn't talk about anything that led up to this blow-out. You may have needed the break - but I wouldnt make this a habit, because you're eventually going to create a bigger "gap" than what was already there. So just find some time and talk and really get down to the heart of the matter.

Answer 4

I've read part 2 and now this question and i'll answer both independently of the other.

Going to school and working a full time job is probably the most stressful situation a person can do. Especially if one is married. That is alot of responsibility for one person to deal with. I can see what is going on right now. You haven't mentioned him hitting you in either question only that he is mean.

I think you need to buckle down and realize you are asking a bit more than he is capable of giving right now. I know this may sound like i'm saying you are selfish but it's not meant in that context.

He is working to support you and the children, going to school, in the hope that he'll eventually graduate and be a better provider, what you need to do is give him some space and allow him to get through all of this with out doing alot of complaining and whining.

Taking it out on the children because you are angry show's that you are not mature enough and perhaps need to seek some form of medication to calm you down.

You aren't doing everything if he's working and going to school. If you aren't working it's your damned job to take care of the kids while your husband is doing his damndest to provide for you and your future.

Answer 5

Sweety, I don't wanna sound harsh but this one time you need to take one for the team because their are times in your marrige where you both have to sacrafice to make a better life for you and your kids and have you thought just maybe your husband is under alot of pressure due to the fact that he is juggling you,the kids,his job and school and this could be the reason why he is mean to you.I think you should sit down with him after the kids are put to bed and let him know how he's been treating you without yelling and then let him know you are supporting him and his career decision and let him know or even ask him to at least help a little around the house with the kids so no do not get divorced just bare with it a little longer until he finish school and watch you'll see the difference after he graduates.oh and one more thing just sit back and see if maybe you might be treating him a little mean too! and always remember people handle stressful situations differently and therfore accidently mistreat there love one due to being under alot of pressure.

Answer 6

Yes, you two are young. But you have known him for 5+ years and you must have known what he was like too. So why did you put yourself and kids in that situation?

There had to reasons for you not leave him. If he is mean to you, what do you consider being mean to you and the kids? Find out from him why he gets angry. It takes two to tangle! Of course you take care of 'your' kids, while he goes to work and school so he can support you and the kids. He probably would rather have his 'wife' take care of them, then have a total stranger or daycare watch them. No wonder he is stressed out, because you probably nag at him for him not taking care of the kids. He is probably tired of it too and that's why he may be angry and stressed because of school, work, and stuff at home. Why aren't you trying to make things better for him? He needs your support.

You should be glad that you have a man who is willing to go out of his way to work and go to school to better himself and to support all of you! Don't you even appreciate anything that he does? Don't look for an easy way out by getting a divorce like majority of the people do, find the problem by talking to him, without the nagging, be calm and show respect, and fix the problem together. Your marriage vows, don't they mean anything to the both of you?

You just kicked out a good man who was willing to do what it takes to support his family instead of fixing the problem. What a total shame! I would consider on reading the books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Get these books and bring your husband back! Your kids will suffer because of your mistakes....believe me, you will thank me later for you getting the books. Don't give up.

Answer 7

You should sit down and talk with him, it sounds like he's taking things out on you. Perhaps he is under stress and needs to realize what he is doing is making you feel angry. When you react in anger, it also makes him angry so the negative emotions take over, and the both of you lose sight of the positives in your life and relationship. Since you have two children, you must explore your relationship further before making a decision to divorce. Honest, open communication is the key, the two of you need to reconnect again and try to remember the love that brought the two of you together in the first place.

Answer 8

you and your husband need marriage counseling and it is not fair to take things out on the kids... You need parent classes as well... Get the help you need now before it becomes worse and work on you and your marriage and do not divorce. You both need to grow up here.

Answer 9

If you really can't take him anymore, go ahead its your choice. Your still young and you can still find someone who would love you and respect you. Its hard to find someone like that these days but you can still find him. Make sure that the guy you will go out with will take your kids as his own. Good luck!

Answer 10

Maybe you should try counseling for awhile do everything you can and then if it does not work out then go. Then when you have done everything you could you will be able to walk away knowing you did everything you could without any guilt.