do i want an abortion?

Question

i dont know what to do im 11 wks and i dont feel that motherly love that people get when ther pregnant does that make me a bad person? i want to have an abortion

Answer 1

The whole "motherly love" thing is overrated and honestly, a load of crap. I just had my first baby 3 months ago, and the whole time I was pregnant I didn't feel it either, and I was so worried about it. Then I had the baby, and you know what? I still didn't feel it. It sounds wrong, and I did absolutely love my baby, but I didn't feel that motherly, sacrifice anything for you feeling that I saw on the TV all the time. I looked at my baby for the first time, and instead of instantly falling in love, I felt like I was looking at a stranger.

I'm writing this because, of course, I feel it now. It takes time to get to know you rbaby, and now I know what "motherly love" feels like. It's not like in the movies or the books, it isn't instant, it comes slowly, but it's here now, and I couldn't ever imagine life without my baby. Trust me, it will come, in it's own time.

Answer 2

No, it doesn't make you a bad person. If you are at 11 weeks you're getting a little further along into pregnancy for an abortion, though.

Motherhood may not be the right thing for you, but, please consider your options very carefully. What will this do to you emotionally? Can you live with the decision without regret for the rest of your life? How will you feel about the abortion in a day after it is done? A week? Ten years? What will this do to you physically? What if, by some odd chance, this is the only pregnancy you have?

Plus, even though you don't want the baby to raise, what about other couples who might be overjoyed at the opportunity to raise him/her? What might this child, with adoptive parents, be able to accomplish in a lifetime? What joy might they bring into the world? What possibilities?

I'm not sure where you are at in the world but I have a step-sister in law that has been trying very hard to adopt. It has been a very sad process for them with many false hopes and big let downs. There are agencies out there by the boatload that will help you see a pregnancy through for the purpose of adoption. Very young babies are EXTREMELY adoptable (it is sad that not all children are but, the fact that people really do LOOK for little babies goes in your favor). It is very likely your child could find a very loving home.

Google "adoption" or visit your local Crisis Pregnancy Center (fair warning: they are religious and DO have an agenda but no less of one than Planned Parenthood...two sides of the same coin). I mention them mainly because they can help you get in touch with adoption services or perhaps even couples looking to work directly w/ the birth parent.

Good luck, whatever you choose. It is your choice. Don't let anyone pressure you but be sure to know *all* of your options and be true to yourself and the outcome that you can live with.

Answer 3

You are only 11 weeks pregnant and your hormones are going wild. You may not feel the motherly love yet because you may not have heard the heart beat, you have not felt the baby move inside of you, you have not seen the baby on a ultrasound and you have not watched your stomach grow as your baby grows. So, for you it is not "real" yet.
You need to wait it out. Don't get an abortion. If you still feel that you do not have love for this baby after delivery, consider adoption. You owe it to yourself and to your baby to go through with the pregnancy.
My second daughter was a sup rise. To tell you the truth, she came at a bad time. Finances and my marriage was in a shambles and I didn't feel the same (excited) as I did with my first pregnancy. I did not want to have this baby and even after she was born I had mixed feelings (of course I don't have those feelings now). I guess what I am trying to say is that feelings can change and not everyone has the "I'll put my life on the line to save my child" feeling.
I have two daughters and I could not imagine life without them. I never knew I could love someone so much until I had kids.

Answer 4

Many women do not feel "maternal" during the first months of their pregnancy. Your hormones are going haywire and you cannot trust your emotions. What you really need right now are the facts. At eleven weeks, your baby can suck her thumb, make a fist, curl her toes, grasp an object placed in her palm, and get the hiccups. If her palm is pricked, she will open her mouth and pull her hand away. All her organs are present and functioning. She can feel pain. Please take a look at this information. It will help you do the right thing:

Ultrasound of Unborn Baby at 11 Weeks:
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/complicationsgirls.cfm

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp

Support for Pregnant Teens:
http://standupgirl.com/site/index.php

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

Answer 5

An alternative to abortion is adoption. You can plan to give your baby up after the birth. That way you can still go through the pregnancy, and make your final decision then. Your feelings can certainly change in a very short time. I would hate to see your post next week: Why did I have an abortion?

Answer 6

That's not a decision anyone else can make for you.

However, I have a beautiful two year old son. While I was protective of my tummy the last few months of pregnancy, I looked at him when he was six weeks old and realized I didn't love him. I didn't dislike him, I just didn't feel that 'overwhelming love' that I expected myself to feel. It was quite some time before I felt myself beginning to love him, and then I realized that it was because I still saw him as a part of ME--you don't love your arm, you appreciate it, take care of it, but don't LOVE it. That's much how I felt about my son. I am now pregnant with twins, and I don't love them yet either. I love the idea of what they may be someday, but not so much the cells that are causing me extreme morning sickness. :-) Love doesn't just appear because a sperm and egg meet--it takes time to grow.

No, the things you've mentioned don't make you a bad person, but you are a woman with a tough decision to make, and one that YOU should make after weighing all the possible consequences. If you want an abortion, then you need to talk to your doctor. But please be sure to consider all of your options--including adoption--and the possible consequences (abortion is statistically safer than carrying a child to term for the mother, however many women report extreme guilt years later) before making a decision. Just like having a child, having an abortion is something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life.

Good luck.

Answer 7

no don't have an abortion. Believe me I think every mother goes through I point in pregnancy where they question if they are really ready. I tried to get pregnant for a month before I actually got pregnant and even then when I found out I worried if I was truely ready. It is normal to be nervous in the beginning. But I promise when you see the baby on the ultrasound (exspecially on a 3d/4d) all your fears will be pushed aside and you will be over joyed.

watch the video a silent scream, it is on the internet somewhere. I don't have the link. But once you see it you will think twice about an abortion.

Answer 8

You're at 11 weeks--the fact you aren't feeling "motherly love" isn't proof of anything. You're scared. Pregnancy is a scary thing. All of sudden you have another human inside of you.

My advice is NOT TO ABORT BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED! I'm all for pro-choice, but that's a terrible reason. If you're scared, you need to look into adoption.

Why? If you have an abortion now because you're scared, the next time you get pregnant you're going to want to do the same thing.

Answer 9

First you have to realize your hormones are doubling every couple of days, that alone makes you feel crazy! Next you should know that at 6 weeks your babys heart starts beating. I am 12 weeks pregnant and I planned this baby, but I still have fears and I already have a son who's 13 and a daughter who is 11. Everyone gets scared and feels they won't do a good job, but the question is,could you live knowing you killed your baby that had a beating heart and already is moving inside you? Good Luck

Answer 10

The motherly love you feel you don't have is in you just by you asking what you should do and feeling out of sorts cause you can't feel that love, I think it is going to come in time, don't let your unfelt emotions make this big decision, in Gods eyes we are all someone when we are conceived, people argue that it is not yet a person,WRONG!!!!!!! so think real hard and GoodLuck, Donna