My wife and I separated a month prior, she immediately filed for divorce but it hasn't been finalized as of yet. Yesterday she said that she wanted to repair our relationship, and that she hoped that I still loved her and wanted to repair the relationship as well. She also informed me that she feels she made a horrible mistake when she had tried to rekindle a relationship with her ex-husband and the father of her children (for the childrens sake) she admitted she slept with him in the past week and thats when she realized that they were finished and that she feels her place is with me now. We've all heard the cliche "Once a cheat, always a cheat" and I feel thats probably the truth in most situations,and probably in this one as well, but my question is does anyone have any ideas in which we could repair our relationship? or am i to optimistic, and better off divorced from this woman?
2007-02-05 11:04:20 · 11 answers · asked by dannyjohn4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you must feel so hurt, so basically she thought the grass was greener on the other side, realized she made a mistake after having her little fling and then thought she would come back to you.
so you tell me, what happens when someone else comes along in the future ( and they will) will you be back in the dog house, with your divorce papers tucked into your mouth for a bone.
I don't think so.
I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
2007-02-05 11:14:06 · answer #1 · answered by looby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk about your relationship & try to see if in fact each of you wants to be together. I dislike when people claim they do things for sake of the children. I beleive one needs to be selfish @ times to see what one really wants. You should take a look outside the box & see if you're willing to work it out or not. There is only so much one can take & only so much one is willing to do. Remember that when someone cheats, that will ALWAYS linger in your mind. I'm going through something smiliar. Hope this helps a bit...good luck.
2007-02-05 11:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by shrte1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I wish you the very best of luck, and hope that you can repair your marriage and make it stronger, I think you can't rely on advice you get from strangers in this forum to help you make your decision.
You should talk to your wife and get into couples counseling as soon as you possibly can, even if it's just free counseling offered by a local church, synagogue or mosque. In order to trust her again, you have to find out why she did what she did, and in all honesty, she might not even know herself, and a trained professional can help her communicate with you as well as look inside her own heart and mind. It's very possible that she saw her ex-husband in a light he didn't deserve, as a prospect for family stability she (clearly) didn't have with him before. You didn't say when you met her in relation to when she left him, but if she hadn't resolved all her issues with him when you and she fell in love, she may have acted out of a mistaken need to seek closure of her relationship with her ex. You can discuss all these things and more, but you have to do it with an open heart and a willingness to forgive -- no one is perfect, and if you want to stay married, you have to put this ugly episode behind you.
Best wishes to you -- good luck finding your path.
2007-02-05 11:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by bluestocking1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat always a cheat is a cliche and doesn't always apply. Bigger question is could YOU trust her again? She went back to her ex but it was not for the kids alone trust me, whatever she thought she felt evidently wasn't there, however, you both have a long road ahead if you want to work it out and you would be wise to seak counceling in this situation.
2007-02-05 11:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wanted to see if there were any sparks left in her past relationship.When she found out that he didn't want her or it wouldn't work out she decided to go back to you before her side of the bed got cold.Don't know if it can be saved or not and I'm not sure that I would want to now that all this has happened.She didn't seem to have any problem changing her mind in just a short time.If I were you I would be suspicious of this behavior.I think she is just trying to sway her way back into your heart until something else comes along.
2007-02-05 11:22:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you were separated, I'd hardly call it cheating. There was no expectation of fidelity, once you separated.
You both need to do a lot of talking. Preferably with a marriage counselor.
2007-02-05 11:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a user. So if she is not with you, she has to be with her ex? Some people are gluttons for punishment. You bettern think about this more in depth to make sure you know what you really want and what your expectations are for this relationship. Good Luck!
2007-02-05 11:17:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counseling and help and see if she is open to working on this marriage with you at all before you completly give it up and stop. Seems to me that she is remorselful and sorry for what she has done so that is a good thing and i feel you should give her and your marriage another shot if at all possible.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-05 11:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look dude leave because, if she's done it once she'll do it again when the kids father is feeling lonely or horny. move on with your life i have been there done that, luckly i was strong enough to get over it and there was no outside kids in our marrige!!!
2007-02-05 11:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by letsey g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She realized that they were finished? No: he realized he didn't want her, and dumped her. Now she's crawling back to you. I would proceed with the divorce if I were you, but it's your call.
2007-02-05 11:13:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋