The first 17 years of my life I thought the man my mom was married to was my biological father. Then I accidently found some papers that said I was adopted at 1 year old. I asked my mother about it she became very upset and all she would tell me was the mans name.
I dug around on the net and I think I've found this man. He's about 70 now. I'm 41. I really have no feeling for this guy. I would just like to see what he looks like though. He lives in another state.
Have any of you had a similar experience? How was it?
2007-02-05 11:02:17 · 3 answers · asked by philosofurrier 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should contact him. He may welcome you and you may end up in a wonderful relationship! Or he may deny it or not want to get to know you. So make sure you're prepared for it to go either way. But I think it's worth the risk of getting hurt. Otherwise, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering - what if.
My sister's husband had a similar thing happen, when he was 40. Suddenly a long-lost brother, who he didn't know about, showed up! The family was very happy to welcome him. It was really fascinating for them to see that this guy looked just like the rest of the siblings and even though they weren't raised together, he ended up being of similar temperament and interests.
You say you have no feelings for this guy. But I have a feeling that once you lay eyes on him, you'll find your heart singing!
Good Luck!
2007-02-05 15:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience. I didn't find out until after my mother passed away, as i was sifting through her personal papers i found the truth. I learned my mother had divorced my real father just 2 months before i was born. I wasn't adopted but somehow ended up with my step-fathers name rather than my real fathers.
I went in search of my real father, talked to all my relatives (mother's sisters, brothers etc) my older cousins who had all been sworn to secrecy. But once confronted with the documentation and a birth certificate of mine they told me about my real father.
He was a severly disabled war veteran living in a veterans home not far from where i lived. (in same city). i went to that veterans home and asked to see this individual.
He was disabled but not sufficiently so to not have all his faculties. He didn't have any legs and he wasn't a patient he was the Administrative director of the veterans home.
I told him who i was. He wasn't the least bit shocked. He said he'd kept tabs on me through my relatives since i was born. It was because of my mother's wishes that he had not contacted me during my lifetime. He felt it would be best if i just considered her husband to be my father.
This really made me angry. I'm a veteran. I know the rules regarding compensation to children of disabled vets. I told him I found his excuse to be rather selfish being that this decision denied me alot of different career/educational choices as i graduated from highschool. I could have gone to college instead of volunteering to serve in vietnam.
All he had to say is well you did that and served a long military career, have a great pension, and good medical benefits and now get on out here and live a good life and don't come back.
2007-02-05 19:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mom about it and see what she says... You really need to find him online or touch base with him somehow for closure.
2007-02-05 19:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋