Should I tell my BF that i was a prostitute?

Question

I know it's awful... But true...

I used to be a prostitute for a period of 3 months when i was 19 years old, ( I was desperate ) now i'm 25 and in love with a guy...

Now I don't know if should i tell him that i was a prostitute or not...

Would you leave a BF for this ??

Please help me decide !!

Answer 1

No, don't do that...

It's past !!

Just make sure you don't do it again..

Goodu Luck for both of you !

Answer 2

Yes, you should tell him if you're certain that you're in love with him and want this relationship to last. I would focus the conversation on how desperate you were and how bad things seemed at the time and then explain how you became a prostitute because of those things. I would definitely NOT say, "I used to be a prostitute" and then fill in why you were. I would tell him that you've done some things you're not proud of, fill him in on the desperate situation, and then finish off with why you felt that was your only option. I would end by letting him know that that time in your life is over and appeasing any other fears he may have. It will bother him, but if you tell him at the right time in the right way it doesn't have to be a deal breaker. Plan a time to tell him when he can focus all of his attention on you and prepare for any outcome.
We all make choices that we have to live with and sometimes they aren't choices that we are happy about. You did what you felt you had to and don't let anyone make you feel bad about that. Good luck, I wish I could find out how every thing goes. I'll definitely be thinking about you.

Answer 3

A secret that was so public is going to come out sooner or later. Before you drop the bomb talk to him about why you were so desperate, then what it lead to. Also tell him why you stopped and why you'd never do it again.

He may or may not be able to handle it, but either way, you've got to open that can of worms. If he has to find out from someone else, he'll feel humiliated and never be able to really trust you again.

If he can't handle it and leaves you, consider it a gift. You really don't need someone who is so judgmental, unforgiving and lacking in empathy as a life long mate.

Answer 4

REMEMBER HONESTY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHY ONE

IF YOU DONT TELL HIM NOW, HE WILL FIND OUT.

HOW? WELL IMAGINE ONE DAY AT A COMPANY PARTY WERE YOU AND YOUR NOW HUSBAND ARE INVITED TO ATTEND, AND THERE IS A GUY THAT KNOWS YOU FROM BACK WHEN YOU WERE PRACTICING THE OLDEST PROFESSION, AND HE COMES TO YOU THINKING HE CAN GET WHAT HE ONCE GOT IN EXCHANGE OF $$$$.

YOUR HUSBAND WILL WONDER HOW COME YOU KNOW HIM AND THEN YOU DONT SAY NOTHING BECAUSE YOUR AFRAID. BUT SOME HOW, THAT GUY ASK YOUR HUSBAND HOW MUCH DID HE PAYED TO BRING YOU TO THE PARTY....THINK ABOUT IT....THE WORLD AS HUGE IT MAY LOOKS IS NOT THAT BIG, AND NEWS LIKE THIS ALWAYS GETS AROUND. AND PEOPLE KNOW.

SO BEFORE ANY MORE STEPS ARE TAKEN, YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAD TO DO WHAT YOU DID, HE COULD GET VERY UPSET ABOUT IT, SO BE READY FOR HIS REACTION.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Honestly, I don't know of a single person who would stay with their boy/girl-friend after they revealed something like that...

I mean, this is a very difficult question to answer. Trust is a very important part of a relationship, and withholding something of this magnitude is a huge betrayal of that trust. However, if you tell him about your past, I'm willing to bet that he will break it off.

If you really feel you must tell him, you should also prepare to deal with the consequences of that conversation. My advice, just be as honest and upfront as you can. If he's still in the room after you drop the bomb on him, then answer any and all questions he asks. Other than that, I hope if you do decide to tell him, that he will love you enough to stay with you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Well...the thing is he may leave you if he can't handle it..
\and he may think you may go back out and do it again...
If he really loves you...he won't care..
Now this being 6 yrs ago...he may not freak out..but he still may..
But the thing is..is what you want will you be happy keeping it from him or coming clean about your life...or what would happen if you come across a old trick that you had when he is around..
that would suck if that happended..and he did not know...then he will wonder what else your hiding...
Good luck to you...in your choice

Answer 7

never tell him, never. first, go to the doctor and get yourself tested for all types of stds, including the human papilloma virus. that is rather standard these days for paps anyhow. no matter how healthy you are, DO NOT TELL HIM that!

do you know what could happen if you do? when you're in a social situation and happen to simply have a discussion with a man, while he is making his rounds, he may think that you are really making plans to be with him. this will start a fight. then he may call you a name like "whore," "slut," "streetwalker," and so on.

you should try to find a copy of the movie called Tess. it was made by the director roman polanski. it is based on a novel written in the 1800s. it's such a sad story. poor tess, so lovely, but poor, was raped by a rich landowner, who made her pregnant. he did not marry her. he left her to fend for herself. she was a pariah in her farming community, baby in a papoose on her back while she worked hard in the fields. then her baby died. she wanted to bury it in the church cemetery, but since the baby was a "bastard" by definition, the priest refused. how cruel! but then, as she got her life together, she met a really nice young man from a prominent family who was so attracted to her that he requested her hand in marriage. after he sealed the engagement, she then told him of her past. of course he left her. i won't tell you what else happens, but suffice to say that a man wants "his" woman to be his and his alone.

your bf and all men sort of believe that they "own" us. look at how princes still can have harems, but that if a woman goes to a man other than her husband, she becomes nothing but a cheapened whore. yes, the double standard still exists.

why don't you just let sleeping dogs lie? be happy.

Answer 8

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you should tell him. You need to ask him if he wants to know first. I would say something like, "I need to tell you something, but you may not want to be with me when I do. Do you want to know or not?"

Also know that it's not a terrible thing that you were. It just wasn't the best you could be. Remember, prostitution is legal in some states because they believe it is better to have it than not.

So don't kick yourself, but be humble when chatting with him.

Answer 9

The past is the past. If you have moved on in life, then that experience no longer defines you. Your boyfriend fell in love with who you are today. If you feel that you must confide in him out of fear that he will find out some other way, then tell him, but otherwise, let sleeping dogs lie.

Answer 10

You're history has nothing to do with forming your future. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. My significant other told me something of her history that I had to work pretty hard to get past. I'd have preferred that she never said anything. Just be sure that the past won't show up some day to haunt you.

Answer 11

You need to tell him. he has a right to know and if he loves you, it won't make a difference. But you can't hide something like that from him... if it comes out later (which secrets always find a way of coming out) he will be even more upset that you weren't upfront with him.

Good luck!