"out of sight, out of mind". Me and my gf of 8 years broke up a few days ago and she is heading away overseas in 2 weeks for between 2 weeks and 3 months. I told her i didnt want to hear from her or see her but i didnt really mean that and i miss her badly and want her back. She does still love me but says she needs to be alone. This is definately not about her looking for new love either. I don't think i should call her because i will push her away and i am worried she may not call me because i told her not to. Do you think that absence will make her heart grow fonder? If so, would she still call me despite what i said?
2007-02-05 10:49:14 · 9 answers · asked by whitey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Here's a girl's point of view:
If my BF tells me not to call him I have enough pride to put my feelings aside even when I miss him to death... I wait till the guy calls me himself and if he doesn't, oh well, guess he didn't want me back bad enough... and yes, some times absence make the heart grow fonder, but that's when you part in good terms. Usually distance and time away helps ppl get over break ups... I don't know who called of the relationship or what caused it, but if it was you then I wouldn't call if my life depended on it.
2007-02-05 11:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well usually if you tell a girl you dont want to hear or see from her again then no she wont call. Honestly your best bet is to take the chance of calling her and apologizing for saying those things and tell her you still want to talk to her. Yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder i think but in this case maybe not for her. But probably for you. Good Luck! Prayers for her oversea conquest!
2007-02-05 18:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she share a sense of humor with you?
How about this: Write a letter, several paragraphs, and right in the middle of each one, where it doesn't belong, print "I miss you" in really, really small letters. Make the topic of the letter about stuff she knows about, places, events, people, anything familiar. You know, a nice friendly letter from back home, no pressure. But putting that 'I miss you' in there each paragraph makes the closing question, "by the way, did I tell you I miss you?" a little easier to take. Maybe it'll help bridge the gap. Can't hurt to tell her you lied to protect your own feelings ("didn't want to hear from her, but I do"), while you're at it. Letters are often easier to digest that face-to-face (voice-to-voice) confrontations done in real time. If she's responsive to it, the door will be open and you can spill your guts to your hearts delight. Best of luck.
Oh, woops, I thought she already left...still, you can do the letter saying "I'll miss you".
2007-02-05 18:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I only believe in out of sight out of mind to a certain extent. You should fix things before she leaves because God forbid anything to happen to her and you never get the chance to tell her you love her one last time. It has to be hard on her too. I don't think she wants to leave you and maybe she broke up with you to make leaving a little easier on both of you. We all say things we don't mean when we're hurt and angry but you shouldn't let things stay that way. Don't assume she'll call you because you said harsh things and she may not. You should call her and tell her you really do want to hear from her. I assume that you do and wouldn't you worry if you didn't, and wouldn't it make you happy if you do????
2007-02-05 18:54:16 · answer #4 · answered by ladystarrchild107 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey there...
I can relate to the way you reacted saying 'i don't want to hear from you or see you'....
It's definately not the best way to protect our pride, but many of us do say things like that when we've been rejected....
Sometimes, depending on who we say it to, blows back in our faces!!!
REALLY IMPORTANT here that you don't allow her to take that information away with her... Seeing as you said you do both still love eachother... If she's away from you, and she has in her mind that you don't want to hear from her or see her, this cannot result in a good outcome...
Now, you said you've been together for 8 years --- that's a long time, and, perhaps both of you do need to have that little bit of time away from eachother to confirm whether it really is a healthy relationship to continue... Sometimes, out of habit, couples tend to just hang around eachother most of the day, everyday without having time away from eachother.... You may not feel this is needed at the time, but sometimes 'forcing' that 'breathing space' can be essential to keep that spark going...
See how you go....
BUT DON'T LET HER THINK THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM HER OR SEE HER...!!
Make it very clear that you're sorry you said things the way you did, you were just angry... Be sure she understands that YOU LOVE HER before she goes or give her a call wherever she is...
Tell her that it's good that she gave you both the opportunity to have some breathing space to work out where you're both at!!!
- I know you don't want to call her, but if you put a 'i love you heaps, but we definately need time away to confirm whether we both want to stilll stay together' is open-ended and not at all clingy....
2007-02-05 19:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
brief essay on that absense make the heart grow fonder?
absense hurts...there's no happiness in wondering, waiting, worrying, doubting...it doesnt build love...cuz love is not experiencing a lovely moment nor moving or the future...it remains in the past...of what once was...it can be deep sadness...like a death...a mourning. the last time you saw them is what youll remember the most after some time apart. was it good feelings or sad feelings? either way, i hope you work it out. peace
2007-02-05 18:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well hunny why would you say those mean things boy if my man said that i would do exactly what he says and i would move on and not look back that would hurt to much
but that's me and i am very fiery so give it time she may need to just have a little while to regroup i think you should email her or call or send letters saying you are sorry so she knows you still want her and if you really want her back you will make and effort to get her back so its up to you
how much do you want her back ?
2007-02-05 18:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do know that long distance can put immense strain on the relationship perhaps it is better to be out of mind out of sight....
2007-02-05 18:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you truly love her go after her .
Absent is good for a short time.
2007-02-05 19:01:27 · answer #9 · answered by zeus 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you really are going to miss her when she's gone, then you shouldn't have said all that crap to her! You pathetic jerk!
2007-02-05 18:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋