ii really need help with something please!?

Question

i am eighteen and live with my mother with my son, but i would like to move out as soon as i finish this year in school since im a senior. my boyfriend and i would like to move into our own apartment, but im sort of confused on how to achieve my goal of getting my own place. i want my own place so my son and i can have our own pace and because i want to start having my own family with my boyfriend instead of trying to take care of our son when we live in to separate home. also at the same time i would like to get a job so i can start doing things for me and my son. like saving up for college and having enough money for my apartment and the things i need in it and all the things my son will need. my grandmother wont let me get a job though because she said i need to focus on school and my son, but having a job will help me feel a lot better about my situation. can somebody please help me and please dont come with negative comments because im just an 18 year old teen looking for help!!!!

also there is more to that. my boyfriend and i want to get married and everything, but in order to do that we feel that we should live together first. we have been together six years and feel that we are ready.

and for everybody who keeps saying things about school and my mom, i am going to stay in school and im going to go to college and my mom wont let my boyfriend move in at this point in time.

Answer 1

The most important thing is to get a job. If you don't have money, you can't go to college. If you don't have money, you can't keep a house. If you don't have money, you can't get food or support yourself or your son. Having a family is great and all, but if you don't have any money to support yourself or your family, you're not in a good position.

Answer 2

First of all, you are too young to get married, so take my advice and wait. I don't care how long you have been with him. Wait on the marriage part and focus on you and your son. I understand completely what you are saying about school, but the focus on you went out the window when you gave birth to your son. Now what you want has to be on hold. You now have to provide for your son, so you need to get a job. You come second. Get a good job and take care of you and your child. Move out if you can, but I don't suggest moving with someone else. If you do, just make sure you can handle all the bills just in case he decides to leave. So in summary, stay with your mom as long as you can (if you can) and save enough money for a house - think big, not an apartment. Hope this helps, and if it didn't PRAY ON IT!

Answer 3

Staying in school will be the best thing for you. You don't want to go out and get any job that comes your way, you may end up in a job that pays little and you hate. If you study you can go on to have a good career and earn more. I think your son will appreciate you more for that, instead of you all struggling. Don't be embarrassed about your situation, it's not shameful, alot of people are in the same boat. There is no rush, I know you may get impatient but in the long run you will have a better life. Don't worry about your bf living with you at the moment that will come one day and you'll have a good job so your family will be happier and more secure.

And don't listen to him! You are not doomed to failure, you are trying your hardest for your family, which it is even though you are not married. Alot of marriages end in divorce, seams to me like you both love each other, there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 4

I think you should look for a job after you graduate high school with either a bank or a hospital. Both places are great places to look for an entry level position that require little to no previous experience and will earn you a pretty decent wage. Plus there are lots of ways to move up or around once you get some experience. The advantage a position with a hosp over the bank is they will have 2nd & 3rd shifts available which might work out better for you in the future once you finally go to college, plus many hospitals, depending on what you go to school for have reimbursement programs oh and onsite daycare which is something you may need.
good luck

Answer 5

Your an adult now, you have a child, although you should be working hard on your school work, in order to complete you goal of you own life, i believe you should act like a woman. You should go out and find a job, and save your money. Save up enough for a down payment, or maybe enough to aid, and take out a loan. In this case, your boyfriend should be saving money also, and you two can come together and be a family, and share expenses.

Answer 6

Is there a high school counselor, teacher, or clergyman you can talk to? Sounds as if you have a lot to think through, and doing that needs some more continuing conversation than you can get from Y!A.

One place to start: make a list of all those goals and wants you've described and try to figure out your priorities -- which things are most important to you.

Something that puzzles me in your question: why can your grandmother determine whether or not you can get a job? She can advise, and her advice could be right, but unless there's something else going on, her role in your decision doesn't compute, IMHO.

Answer 7

I think your grandma is being very understanding, and you should stay there and continue with your education. I have a son and I was able to finish my school because I got help from my family. If you just want to get out of your house because you want to live with your boyfried, you can do it, but it's going to be very hard. I don't know where you live, but renting an appartment will cost you 800-1000, plus bills. Everything is a sacrifice, I would rather stay with my grandma, go full time at school, finish fast, and when you have a solid carrer, then you can move out. I think you are too young. I don't know how old is your boyfriend or if he go to shcool, or I don't know how much he makes. What I know is that it is very hard to study, work, and give time to your family.

Answer 8

Why don't you balance it out? Like a job and school, but part-time. If you want your own place, you'll need to start saving, but if you want to rent a place then the saving up amount would be less then actually owning a place. Anyhow, it also depends on how the job pays because bills are also added into moving out, but maybe your boyfriend and you can both pay the pills, that way it'll be more easier.

Answer 9

I think the best thing is for your boyfriend to move in with you, your mom, and your son. You can finish school along with him, take care of your son and maybe both of you can work part time and save money for an apartment and other things you may need to buy. Try to stay with your family as much as possible so that you can save. It is the smartest thing to do

Answer 10

NOBODY can stop you from doing what you want. If you want a job, go get one. Now when you get one, you have to make sure that you can afford a babysitter/day care etc. If your family doesn't want you to have a job, they may not be willing to help you take care of your son. After you have those things covered, put away as much as you can from every paycheck. When it comes to furniture, kitchen gadgets, towels etc. don't be afraid to ask for hand outs. You maybe cutting yourself off from your family, so be prepared. This is a big step that you are wanting to make, so make sure this is what you really want. If it is, it's going to take a lot of work and determination.

Best of luck to you.