Help!Tips on how to help a friend are needed please.?

Question

My best friend is going through the roughest time of her life.Her life just crashes down on her all of a sudden. As a resolution, she would cut herself everyday and cry. Besides that, she has lost interest in a lot of things, such as writing, and she has lost appetite. She tells me that she has only been eating lunch as the only meal of the day. I feel so bad for her. I've been talking to her and because of that, we've become the best of friends. I have told her that we need to find an adult for help but she is scared. I need some tips on how to help her without getting a professionals help please. This problem is getting worse as each hour passes by. I love her, and I need anyone out there to help me with this, as soon as possible, please. thank you oh so very much if u decide to help me out.

Answer 1

Your friend needs help you cant give.They need a profesional.

Answer 2

Telling a adult is the right thing to do, this is to much for anyone to handle alone, let alone a teen. I understand she is afraid and does not want professional help but what is worse her staying alone and suffering in her own silent he ll or getting some help? Oh she may be very angry at first if you tell someone but sooner or later she will understand how much of a friend you really are, if you did not care you would say nothing and walk away. Cutting is a way some people deal with inner turmoil but it is not healthy. I do not judge her for it as I know exactly where she is coming from. I also know I hate it when people try to help when all you want to do is die but when you start getting better you will be so happy someone was there for you and that your living a brand new day. I bet she is grateful for having you as a friend.

Answer 3

Getting an adult involved is the best way to help her, even is she is afraid. You can get some anonymous help through a suicide hotline, or you can call a priest or pastor, or a school counselor. Maybe your own parents would be willing to step in. Whoever you decide to tell, TELL SOMEONE. This is not only her problem. You are obviously being affected by her self-destructive behavior, too. This is a terrible burden for you to carry, and you cannot be expected to carry it alone. If your friend seriously injures herself, you will feel responsible. If you love your friend, you will get the best help for her, and that help is going to come from a professional. Give your friend the choice, but insist that she get help, or you will get it for her. It is not a betrayal. If she set herself on fire, would you get help? That is what she is doing, just a little more slowly. She will thank you later, but even if she doesn't, at least you did what you thought was right. Best of luck.

Answer 4

I'm guessing you're a young teenager or so? No idea, no offense if I'm wrong.

It may seem like telling someone is a betrayal but if she's self-mutilating/cutting herself then that is a big, fat, red warning sign of trouble. That sort of thing could mean anything from depression to borderline personality disorder to other disorders that can be quite serious and NEED medical attention.

I have a parent with a mental illness (bipolar disorder) and I know it can be very difficult to see someone you care about be so distructive toward themselves, BUT, it is very important to understand that they need help. Helping them to avoid help is no real help at all.

Your best bet is to tell a trusted adult about the situation so that they can alert the right people in terms of helping her out. She may be mad at you for saying something--I won't lie to you on that. Remember, though, being a good friend means trying to look out for each other, not covering up problems when someone needs help.

I wish you and your friend luck. It isn't easy being a kid, a teen or somewhere in the middle.

Answer 5

I've had more experience with this, both personally and with my friends, than I care to divulge.

Try to show her the things that are happier in life. Whenever she says something depressed, try to tell her something that will make her happy. Let her talk though, let her get it out of her system. Try to get her to eat as much as you can. For the cutting, recommend that she try snapping a rubber band against her wrist or hold an ice cube in her hands until it melts instead of cutting. Try to get her to cut down on that especially, two years later she'll hate the scars.

She's going to need to be very strong to get through this and she's really going to need your support. I managed to get over my years of self-destructive behavior only through my own determination and the support of my best friend. If you do decide to go to an adult, make sure she realizes that if it's a psychiatrist, they are obligated by law to go to her parents with the information of what she's doing to herself.

The most important part is making sure she understands that she's hurting herself, especially if she does quit her self-abuse and becomes depressed again.

Answer 6

Are you guys in highschool? I know you dont want to get professional help but the school psychologist is a good start and I dont think that they will call her parents. Do you have a parent that could help her? There are phone numbers in the phonebook where she could call and get help anonymously. Could you maybe take her to a church, most of them have real psychologists there that will help for free. You could even try a university that is near you, they have psych programs there, the teachers are actual psychologists and could help for free and with out telling her parents, meanwhile listen to her, take her outdoors for walks, and also remember even though you are scared of getting professional help would you rather wait until she commits suicide and then wish you would have done more to help her?

Answer 7

this sounds quite serious, needless to say, and requires immediate attention. i would say that she is, at least, very depressed. this situation can not be left unaddressed, and by competent adults, i'm afraid. if she's unwilling to go the usual route: pastoral counseling, psychologist/psychiatrist, then i would advise the following: get her to an acupucturist. she can help balance out her energy and, most important, probably knows professionals in the community who are very compassionate, as well as competent in this type of situation. for example there are available, especially in larger communities, healers/therapists well trained in Eastern approaches to "problems"--much kinder and far less invasive than the Western oriented types. and, *far less* prone to recommending hospitalization and drug therapy. In the Far East and elsewhere, but seldom in the West, it is understood that almost all "problems" are, at root "energy based", and thus responsive to energetic treatment. In short, in this case, i would be far more prone to discussing the matter with a healer well versed in Tibetan or Chinese medicine, than with one of the "usual type". btw, i must comment that i'm no health professional, and that this is merely my, non professional, opinion. and, that only a licensed professional is truly competent to advise her in this matter. Best of luck to her and to you.

Answer 8

its good to have a friend like u pal, shes gonna needed especially now when she needs sumone who loves her. so just make sure u "stick to her like super glue" make sure u stick to her because if it gets really bad and i mean REALLY BAD!!!! go to a pychiatrist or professional help ASAP even if she doesnt agree, cuz she mite end up ending two or more lives instead of one if she goes on like that. even now, i suggest u get her professional help, she'll thank u l8r. like my friend, he wanted to get me professional help, but i didnt. so he started praying for me (and were both christians) so i started to better but still he went with me when he suceeded in dragging to the physchiatrist. even if ur not a christian or shes not a christian, just pray for her anyways. she's in desperate need of prayer and who knows? she just mite get better cuz of it.