difficulty discussing his feelings for me and with me. Recently he opened up to me about the desire of having a close friend of mine, him, and myself participating in a threesome. I feel like I'm opening myself up to the possibility that I love him beyond words and he may not feel as strongly for me.He says the treesome is no big deal,all of us enjoying ourselves but I'm only doing this to make him happy.I would enjoy the experience as much as him if he didn't set my friend up on this pedestal and actually talk about how much he can't wait to do her.He keeps saying that it's no big deal but then whenever I ask him about him and I and how he feels about me,he won't answer or he changes the conversation to something "safe".We've been together for almost a year and I feel as if he loves me but he has no empathy for me.I figured this would be different since he's almost 20 years older then me.HELP!!!
2007-02-05 10:27:48 · 17 answers · asked by nativemucklucks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do as much as I can to keep the relationship fresh, sexually and if he has anything new that he wants to try, I'm down...I feel like I'm giving my all and he's giving as little as possible.
2007-02-05 10:31:21 · update #1
He may not appreciate what he has because you are always right there for him am i right? People often do not realize what they have until they have lost it. Make him work for the relationship and if he isn't making any efforts then i would reconsider how important the relationship it is and maybe move on to greener pastures. This is only an opinion so you need to do what you feel is best for you. At his age he is not thinking much outside of box of fun and games of the relationship. That is how young guys are usually. Make a list of the pro's and con's of the relationship does the good outway the bad? good luck
2007-02-05 10:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by aubrie27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once saw a story about this very thing. The couple saw a therapist and the therapist said it is never a good idea to bring a 3rd party into the relationship. I know there are people out there that do that kind of thing on a regular basis, but it is never a healthy alternative to "spicing things up" in the bedroom. If you have any doubts or are uncomfortable about it in any way you have to speak up. If he really loves you he will respect your feelings and understand that you are not comfortable with this. At this point I would say he is just being selfish and not thinking about how this makes you feel. He also isn't giving any consideration to what you may need? If you give in and do this once he will expect to be able to do it on a regular basis. It is obvious that you are not on board with this, so you have to speak up or you will be miserable!
2007-02-05 18:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Meadow Soprano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really getting mad at you because this guy is using you. There's nothing wrong with a threesome if both parties are in agreeance on it. He's forcing you to do a threesome because he really want to get down with your friend. If I were you I would watch my back because he's probably already doing your friend. If my boyfriend even spoke of my friend in that was I would kick his as and then kick him to the curb. Get out of this relationship right now before he brings something home to you that you don't want an STD. GET OUT NOW!!!! Plus he's old so therefore he feels he can have a young girl and her friend too. Do you know what that's doing for his male ego?
2007-02-05 18:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by step b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to find another man! He is putting himself and his feelings first and leaving you feeling empty. I wouldn't do the threesome unless you really want to. There is no reason for you to do something just to make someone else happy. You need to start thinking about yourself first. If you start with yourself you will find that your future relationships and friendships will be healthier and you will be happier. Maybe think about taking a small break from him and focusing on yourself. If you still can't live without him then you need to give him an ultimatum. Either he makes some changes, or you're gone. Good luck.
2007-02-05 18:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind sister! Don't have a threesome strictly to make him happy. You will only hurt yourself in the end and possibly ruin the relationship you have with your friend. It seems to me that he doesn't care too much about your feelings and the more that give in to his whims he will continue to take advantage of you. Doesn't it bother you that he sets your friend up on a "pedestal"? And the fact that he can't "wait to do her" See the red flags that are in your face sister and move on. He doesn't deserve you!
2007-02-05 18:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by soon2bstepmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl serioulsy! DONT DO IT!!! If he cant answer about you and him.....why would you want to see him sleep with someone else and enjoy it??? It will just hurt you in the long run......I cant tell you what to do but what you just explained has the word "RUN AWAY" all over it!!!! Maybe talk with him and actually make sure your relationship is on safe ground....if not maybe its a plan or something.....I wouldnt do it but only you can make that decision.
Good Luck
2007-02-05 18:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Believe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he's so interested in your friend, you might need to watch this guy when you're not around and your friend IS!
And if you're 20 years younger than him, you've already fulfilled most guys fantasies, and he still needs more? Girl, I don't think he's into this relationship as much as he's into what he can get from you and the people attached to you. I think you deserve something better personally speaking.
2007-02-05 18:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right an if you think he is going to change think again. He is not into you the way you are into him, and you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Time fo the big split and since v day is the big split day that would be the day I would do it. the guy is just a jerk. you don't need him so dump him and warn your friend about what he wants incase he tries to hit on her.
2007-02-05 18:36:17 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. The bigger problem is the age difference - 10 years MAX. May be time for you to get some independence and move out on your own.
2007-02-05 20:49:28 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hold back on the threesome until the relationship is more secure. Doing it any sooner would result in more issues.
2007-02-05 18:32:46 · answer #10 · answered by tchem75 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋