My Fiancee plays in a band and he doesn't want me to go only when he plays at clubs because he's Jealous and thinks other guys will hit on me while he's up there playing, and told him I will be going this Sat with him but my friends will join me also. Is it wrong of me to go even though I know this bothers him? I love him so much that I don't want to argue for something like this? I mean he's going to be there so that shouldn't be bad right!
2007-02-05 10:24:29 · 23 answers · asked by ♥AMO♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its not bad at all, just tell him that yew love him and that yew will be rooting for him and not flirting, be sure he knows that and wave to him while he is playing so he knows yew are focused on him and not on some other guy, good luck=]
2007-02-05 10:29:14 · answer #1 · answered by &d. i. l. i. hawt; 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No it's NOT wrong! You want to go because you want to support him, and because you're proud of him. It's really cheap of him to use jealousy as an excuse for you not to come! You're going to the club because if ANYTHING...you want to brag about your awesome boyfriend. What girl ISN'T proud that their boyfriend is in the band? You want to show off a little! Why wouldn't you?
If he's claiming he can't stand to see guys hit on you, I'm betting it's more like...he knows girls will hit on HIM (because that happens when you're in a band) and he doesn't want you to see it. He's probably thinking that he can't behave the way he usually does if you're there.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not at ALL implying that he would do more than allow girls/groupies to flirt with him, but if you're there...he can't play that part. I think he can just suffer through one night here and again, with you there though. I'm sure he won't be the first band member in the history of bands...who has ever had a girlfriend at the club.
2007-02-05 10:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should want you there, ask yourself seriously why he wouldn't, if you really believe in your heart that it is because he is jealous, then what future does your relationship hold, jealousy is the root of all evil, a good relationship is based first and foremost on friendship, honesty, respect and with those three follows love. you may take his jealousy as a compliment in the beginning but I can assure you a few months down the line you will be suffering a whole lot more than he will.when he starts to control what you do, where you go and with the company you keep.In fact im taking a good guess this has already been happening.Take it from one that has been there, seen it and done it.
Remember his insecurities are not your fault.
2007-02-05 10:39:17 · answer #3 · answered by looby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe something else is going on with him...maybe that someone else is there or something. Not saying that hes a bad guy just seems kind of strange that you wouldnt want your fiancee there for you. I guess just tell him how you feel and hope that he will get passed the jealousy and learn that he can trust you, expecially about something so small. You are not at fault..as long as your going souly for him.
2007-02-05 10:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by hailey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will find that you feel that you are not wrong and there is something else that you feel is wrong.
When one is doing something that he or she loves or is proud of, you want your love ones to support you. However, he is not wanting you around to support him.
You are sensing that there is something else wrong but you are afraid to look into your fear.
Where you go is up to you. You can go anywhere you like. He cannot control what you do or where you go as you are a free being. Why should you, supporting your boyfriend, feel that is wrong?
Listen to your gut. It's pointing you to the truth.
I have been in the music industry far too long to know that there is something sketchy with his reason for you not wanting to go.
Find the truth for your self and go.
2007-02-05 10:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Nocturne_in_G_Major 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the suspicious type because I have known musicians that played it single in the club they're working yet they were married. I would definitely go and find out if it is just his jealousy!! Don't be so trusting. (Know I'll get a beating for that answer) Oh well. Go find out. @8-)
2007-02-05 10:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be more worried about why he doesn't want you to go. If it is because he is that jealous then he needs counseling. Or maybe he doesn't want you to see him flirting with girls. I had a few guy friends in bands, and when they didn't want their girlfriends to come to their shows it was because of what THEY were doing not the girlfriends.
Good luck.
2007-02-05 10:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Should be Working! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong for you to go your trying to show this guy support and all he can think about is basically "jealousy" he needs to trust you and if he can't then why is he with you, a relationship is based on trust and you will be with your friends so nothing "dangerous" can happen when you have a crowd with you so go for what you know and good luck
2007-02-05 10:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lovely 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider another thing: there is probably a secondary and more serious reason! If he doesn't want to show you off and let everyone know you're his lady...could he have more than one? Or is he picking up sweeties at the gigs? My ex did. He didn't know the guitar man was telling me about them as soon as the gigs were over...and once called me on break so I could wander in and catch them...in MY car! (he borrowed it to carry his stuff).
2007-02-05 10:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's either feeling really insecure, or he's hiding something. Maybe he's worried about other guys, but you're right, if you're right there, it shouldn't be an issue. If, however, he is the one hiding someone that might be showing interest in him at his gigs....then that's a different story. That would explain why he doesn't want you there.
2007-02-05 10:31:43 · answer #10 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he just doesnt want you there.......if he's really that worried about guys hitting on you what would be the big deal if you were with your friends? he can obviously see whats going on, and its not like you're flirting with all these other guys right up in his face are ya? Sounds to me like HE'S the one who's worried....maybe for another reason???? Good luck girl...
2007-02-05 10:28:43 · answer #11 · answered by spaceyinla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋