After two years, he came back into my life...should I forgive him and move on with my life?

Question

I know this guy for twelve years (we met in college), and then couple of years ago we had a brief relationship and got pregnant. Since he didn't want to get together with me and assume patternity (he's already a single parent of a 13 year old), I wasn't ready mentally and financially to have a baby;I decided to get an abortion. it was very difficult decision and I went into a deep depression....plus I had complications, which I almost died. He never called me again not even to find out if I was ok and since I didn't call either, we lost contact for two years; until now that he got my email address through my other friend (that doesn't know about this whole deal) and he offered me a job.
I hated him for being a coward and not taking responsibility for his actions and for not showing any feelings for my well being. he's asking me what have I been up to...I don't want to answer his email, yet I want to show that my life is much better without him. I don't know what to do....

Answer 1

forgive him in your heart, but don't even bother answering his e-mail. this guy brought you too much trouble and too much pain. he's not worth your time. you've moved on, and you should be proud of yourself. just ignore any and all e-mails that you may get from him. you've moved on with your life, and it's better without him in it.
Best wishes.

Answer 2

I'll just answer this question as if it is real even though it had some loopholes like MAKING a 13 year old wear a diaper to school? How would the kids see the diaper if it was inside his pants? Are there diapers that fit 13 year olds? Was he ever checked for health problems?... And so on... anyway.. if this is a real situation... My best advice for you is not to TRY to hate your mother. Yes, you can be mad at her. You can be very very mad at her. But you are going to have regrets if you disown her as your mother. You love her and I'm sure have had your disagreements before, but you always come back to the fact that you love your mother. Especially as you are an adult with a 13 year old so you never know how long your mother will even be in your life. That REALLY matters. Now your sons thing matters too. You don't want him to commit suicide because of bullying that he is not able to escape, so that was a good move taking him out of school. I am not so sure about counseling. If you haven't done anything before to help him with his problem what will counseling do? Time will heal. I agree with keeping him out of school for the rest of the school year (let him hide under his rock if thats what it takes), and sending him to a new school. This is a miserable situation, and there's no instant answer but over time it will pass and he will be able to step foot outdoors again. Why don't you counsel your own son since it sounds as if he really does have some extreme issues, and just talk to him in private, where he won't have to face yet another outsider who knows his problem. Ask him what will help him get over all this and tell him it's important not to hate his grandmother because she was only trying to help him in her own sick and twisted way. You don't ever want to teach your children hate. Tell him that over time this situation will get better even if he can't see an end to it now, tell him it's not the end of his life and let him do whatever it takes to recover from this, on his own, so that he can learn how to handle his own problems.

Answer 3

Lots of pain was involved, maybe he is triggering something within you by trying to get back into your life. Maybe he is offering you the job due to guilt he has carried. I guess I would go into a depression for what you have been through. This story almost makes me cry, a man not taking responsibility for his own actions is a twerp in my records.

Take your time to respond to his mail or if you want to respond??
Who says you have to respond to him? Sometimes things are left better unsaid, unless here is your moment to confront him about how he treated you and move on forward like a women.

I really don't think I would accept a job from a man like that.

Answer 4

i would suggest not talking to him at all even if u do want to make it a point that u are doing much better. Not answering his email would just prove to him u dont want anything to do with him and it gives u the upper hand on the whole situation. Talking to him would bring up memories good and bad that u probably dont want to re-live. Dont answer him, it isnt even worth it

Answer 5

you answer his email, and you let him know you are sorry but after everything that went on between you don't want any contact with him. you are now in a better place and contact with him just reopens old wounds you have worked hard to overcome. This lets him know he has hurt you, but that you are over him. Then you add his email address to your blocked email list and you are done with him. you also let your friends know not to give out your personal info.

Answer 6

Life always goes in 1 direction: forward. Trying to reclaim the past never works.
Showing him your life is better is a waste of time. Move forward, ignore his email, and just count your blessings. You have nothing to prove to him. Don't answer him. Don't open that door.

Answer 7

you need to tell him about the past. be honest. then tell him you want nothing to do with him..he is no worthy of you as he treated you poorly, and he will do again......i had to learn the hard way. it was done to me...you deserve better and you will find that someone special. just be patient......but tell him to bugger off...if he persists take out a protection order against him, then he'll know your serious. change your email address, and if he keeps getting it keep changing it. and if you find out how is giving it to him. dump the person from your life as they are not your "friend". kick them to the kirb.

Answer 8

If I were in your shoes, I'd ask the good Lord to forgive me, for not being able to forgive him. Then, move on with life.
I think what he did is unforgivable, and he apears to be acting like it never happened. God bless you in all of your life.
CJ

Answer 9

absolutely not. he didn't care about you when you almost died, it was his responsibility too, and he shirked it like only a deadbeat can. i know what you mean about your life being better. wait until my ex comes back, i'm going to throw it in his face. but at the same time, i would want to get back with him, but i can't out of respect to myself, i know i deserve better than him and the way he treated me and our son (who by the way he hasn't seen, doesn't care about, knows about all the problems we both had during my labor and has the balls to laugh about it! hes lucky i haven't seen him since i had my son or i would have cut them off.)

Answer 10

I would not answer his email. You need to move on, because he could pull the same stunt on you down the road. You don't need to go through that again.