Is this a healty realationship? please give me your advice.?

Question

Me and my wonderful boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half and we are very happy together I wont tell you how young we are but ill say under 20. We will probably get married someday soon. We argue some.... well we argue about stupid stuff though. We are very active in sports and have about.... well no time. I spend every weekend with him and we are very happy. I was also pregnant back in October I had a misscarriage.. and even though we werent ready for a child but we were really heartbroken because we feel that it was a blessing and if god didnt want it then he wouldnt have made it that way. I have a very sensitive spot when it comes to that. Is that normal to be sad.? I also have a promise ring is that for real?... He gave it to me on our 1 year anniversary when we were camping.. his mom cried... We are very close me and his mom and she thinks were perfect together. We feel that our lives are perfect and we want marrage.... to make it official.... are we ready? too young?

Answer 1

You can be very happy together without being married. If you want to get married, then you sound happy with this person. But if you're unsure then it doesn't hurt to have a very long engagement. People tend to change a lot, and you might change/grow together. But if you grow apart it's very hard to get a divorce.

Good luck and hope everything works out.

Answer 2

It's normal to feel sad about losing a child. What person out there wouldn't feel sad if they had a miscarriage? In my opinion a promise ring is only a sign that you will not date anyone else other than your b/f. An engagement ring is the one that says you promise to marry him. As far as getting married it's a good idea, however, you need to have some sort of plan in order to do this. Marriage is a commitment for life. You both need to sit down and think if you are mature enough to handle a household, a family, handle your finances, and handle any problem that may come your way. Living with parents when you get married really isn't a good idea, been there and I hated it, even though I get along with my in laws very well. There was no privacy. I say save some money so you can get an apartment once you decide if you are ready to embark on this journey.

Answer 3

It may be somewhat healthy today, but things can change in a heartbeat. Nothing in life or love comes with any guarantee as to how long it will last. You two are young enough so whats the hurry? Will waiting for a couple of years to make sure this will last destroy you? If this was truly meant to be then a couple of years are nothing but if this isnt meant to be then it will end in divorce court in a few years anyway. Very few couples that marry at a young age last very long, sorry. Your miscarriage was a very unfortunate thing but it may have been Gods way of telling you two you guys arent ready for such a strong committment yet. Yes, it is very normal to feel sorrow after losing someone, but there is no given time limit for how long to feel such sorrow. Give your relationship some time, have some fun, do some growing up and get serious on down the road. Good luck to you both

Answer 4

You're too young to be playing house prior to a real commitment. This has it's own set of problems that often come back to haunt a marriage later on.
What mom thinks may not be as relevant. It's nice to have her approval but it could bode ill in the future if she's in the middle or controlling the relationship.
Try old-fashioned courtship without all the emotional strings attached from an adult sexual relationship. If you get along well, can practice dicipline and restraint and realize you have more in common with one another than a sexual relationship, then you may find a real foundation based upon committed faithful love that will last a life-time. Age doesn't always indicate the level of maturity of an individual.
It is normal to feel the loss of a child. Absolutely. Promise ring? Seems like an elementary school "going steady" practice while you are acting married without the commitment. Sounds sort of romantic but totally non-committal. He has his cake and eats it too, part of why he may possibly disrespect you after the vows and not trust you either. (double standard I know) He may be thinking if you would sleep with him outside of marriage, you might do so after marriage as well?
God grant you the wisdom to learn His righteous ways and to walk in the paths He has for you. It is His will that men and women marry, love one another with a pure, unselfish, Godly love for a lifetime, have and raise moral God-fearing children who are healthy, well-adjusted and happy.

Answer 5

You can only commit to a marriage if you have no doubts. You need to look within yourself and look at your doubts - is it really only your young age that you are worried about?

I have a feeling that you are younger than 20, too, and that is why you are so worred about getting married at such a young age.

And there is no rush. Love is love. If the strength of your love is in your relationship, you don't need a paper proving of your commitment together.

And marriage, as you have seen time and time again, is not forever. Because love is not forever. You can only have certainty of love on a daily basis; you love him today and that's all that matters. Tomorrow, it is your blessing if you find yourselves still in-love.

Don't look at your love as if it's an eternal gift. Love is never constant and changes. It can be stronger, it can be weaker, it can die and move on. It can renew.

But you only have today. You love him today. He loves you now. Will marriage make your bonds stronger? No. Can your love be stronger? Yes.

Take your time. When that time comes that both of you are certain of taking your relationship into the next step, you dont' need us or anybody else to tell you about something that you feel is right for you.

Be happy with the love that you have today.

Tomorrow, who knows. But don't let your worries about something that is not here yet spoil the happiness that you have today.

About yesterday - about losing your pregnancy - you cannot let somethng that is beyond your control hurt you this much. There is nothing in this world that we cannot lose and not find again. And don't let your sadness blind you. You want to get married to replace the sadness that you are feeling today. You must come to an acceptance if you truly want to let your pain go.

Only think about today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Only today. It is in your hands this present moment. Let nothing else that is beyond your control keep you away from what you have now - which is your love and your happy life.

Answer 6

I always tell young people to wait for marriage. In your early 20's you do some emotional growing that shapes most of who you'll be for the rest of your life. In the process, what might seem perfect at the age of 18 (I don't know how old you really are), might not be feasible at 25. That being said, there are exceptions. My parents were just such an exception. They got engaged when my mom was just 16 and were married until my dad died 10 years ago. I point that out because it is an exception.

Please take your time and don't rush anything. Give yourself room to grow emotionally. If it's meant to be, then in several years you can take the step to that lifetime commitment called marriage.

Answer 7

Yes. You're too young. Date a few years before getting married. Sorry for the miscarriage. Unfortunately, they are very common. It's Ok to be sad for awhile. A promise ring is just a promise ring. Don't make too much of it. Just have a good time and enjoy yourself. Stop getting so damn serious!

Answer 8

It sounds to me that you are in a healthy relationship. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and we argue. I would think about college and if you are going to attend. I would also wait until you graduate. If he gave you a promise ring he isn't going any where. And the two of you need to talk about the future, what you want and what he wants. Mostly about what kind of job you want and where you will live to get that job.

Answer 9

What do you and your boyfriend plan for your future? College, jobs,??? You guys are still very young. It is very hard to make a marriage work when you are trying to survive in the real world. You two need to sit down and discuss each of your individual goals and your goals for each other in life. Don't rush getting married, you have your whole lives ahead of you.

Answer 10

If your in collage you should wait until you graduate. If your not then go for it. If you are not able to afford the wedding you dreamed about then you could probably ask his mom for help with the financial part because you seem close to her. You were pretty close to having a child and that you are still together after that happened. Go for it and tell him your ready for marriage i bet he really wants to but he just does not want to rush you. Good Luck.