I think I strongly dislike white women?

Question

In my African American studies class we were taking about interracial relationships. And I told the teacher that it makes me reallly mad to see a white woman with a black man. Especially if he was smart, educated, and articulate.He had asked me why and I told him that I feel like I'v ebeen slapped in the face hwen I see them together becaus emy father had left my mom for a Black woman and I caught them cheating andI just felt hurt because he was spending more time with the white woman than me and my family. It really has broken my relationship with my dad and I never forgave. And I was in a very serious relationship with a guy who I loved so much and still do. But he had told me that he wanted to a white girlfriend because I stopped straigneing my hair and I was a virgin still and he saud that white girls giv eit up more easliy. This has really hurt me deeply and alot of black men I know have praised white women but then they talk trash about black women.

It breaks my hear twhen I hear some Black men complain about us. I come form a middle class background and there are very few Black males in my school and all of them date white girls. And the non-black guys never pay me any attention.It just makes me feel so ugly and unwanted. To my black sistas, have you ever felt this way?

Answer 1

Sweetie, you are directing your anger at the wrong person, or in this case, the wrong people. Your issue is with your father, not the white woman he had an affair with. He needs to address that hurt.

I truly understand where you are coming from on this issue, but again, I think white women are the scapegoat for you and that's not right. I know it's hard being rejected by black men and that's what it feels like....straight up rejection. But you cannot take it personally. You have no control over the choices that other people make. However, you can control how it effects you and how you react.

Do not take it to heart. There are still black men out there who love black women. There are other men of other races who love and appreciate black women.....you may have to open yourself up to the possibility that love may come wrapped in a package different than the one you expected.

Also know that you are not alone. There are a ton of single, successful, black women out there that are in the same boat...wondering where the brothas have gone....But life goes on.....and it's good....enjoy it....with or without a man.

Answer 2

There aren't many good black men out there, so there's no point wasting your time trying to find a needle in a haystack. Especially African American men. The ones I've encountered online are horrible.
Let them run off with white girls. They're only dating them coz they're white, and that's why bm/ww marriages have one of the highest divorce rates. Black men are feminine, and marry women who they think will give them a higher status, because they fail economically.
Not only are black women on average more intelligent than black men, we also earn more than them. That's why you always hear them whining like ******* online about how black women are "masculine", because they've neglected the black community, and strong black women do all they can to replace them, and uphold black people. This is specifically the dark ones.
As the men who you're seeking to date get older, they'll become more open to IR relationships, while black men will still be chasing around white women and light skins.

Answer 3

Quite honestly, I cannot say that I fully understand the racial tension in this country. Don't get me wrong, I love being an American, but I could not tell the difference between black, white, indian, or asian before I got here. I have a very diverse family and in the countries I have lived in it is the person who you choose to dislike or love, not the color. With that said I understand that you have been hurt, but turning your animosities toward white women will not change the fact that two different "black men" hurt you. I'm not saying dislike black men, but it seems to me that you should dislike the seperate people who hurt you, not a certain group. I don't think it is racism, you are just insecure because these men have told you that you are not as good as another woman because of the color of your skin. You lash out at white women because the attributes that these abusive men have attatched to the word "beauty" are things you can never be, i.e. white. Leave the ignorance with them and move on, every woman is beautiful, no matter what her color. It is the things you do that make you ugly. Don't bottle this up and wait for it to turn into hate, its not worth missing out on great friendships.

As far as the people who answered with anger...you're no better. When someone has this kind of problem, the best thing is to educate them on how they can change these problems not lash out at them to provoke more hate.

I'm not fully aware of "white women are easy", in my travels around the world it has usually been "American women are easy", as an American woman, it never offended me. Mainly because I know I'm not easy.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you've been hurt. I wish I could take that away, but I can't. It's really sad how blind so many people can be. People still can't see past stereotypes. You feel hurt because people talk trash about black women, but people talk trash about white women too. It's not fun being called "easy", or having guys hit on you just because they think you'll "give it up" easier (we're not all that way, just like you are not trashy). I'm not saying we white women have it harder. The truth is it's not ok for anyone to talk trash about anyone else, or for anyone to judge anyone, especially if they have never met them. People do it all of the time and they are wrong for doing it. But not everyone is like that. I say wear your hair any way you want (there ae so many beautiful things you can do with it), and be happy you are still a virgin. If a guy just wants someone who will give it up, let them have someone else. Those guys are not worthy of you. You are worth so much more, and there is a guy out there who will appreciate that and love you for you. Be patient and wait for that man, and let all of the other dogs go hump elsewhere.

Answer 5

It really makes me sad that you feel that way. I know I'm far from being one of your black sisters, but I have quite a few AA (African American) friends, mostly female, and we've talked about this very thing before. Although I don't have a problem with interracial relationships, I know I would feel exactly the same way if I felt that a man was choosing a woman of a different race, strictly because she WAS a different race.

You know, AA women have really come such a long way in this country, and I think everyone should be proud of that, because you've had it harder than anyone else, opportunity-wise, but times are changing and they'll continue to change. I'm not trying to be condescending, either. I'm a woman doing a man's job,
so I've faced lots of discrimination in my day, too.

My AA friends all work for the same company as I, and we all make a very good living, and my friends are all married to, or are dating, AA men, and very GOOD men, at that.

Any AA man that thinks he needs to date a white woman for 'status' is seriously not worth your time. Be proud of who you are and know that there are plently of men out there that will value you and cherish you. Just be yourself and be proud of who you are and the 'worthy' ones will know you when they see you. Don't waste your time or energy on the other ones. If they can't see your worth, then that's their problem, and you don't want to waste your time on them anyway.

I think you'll find that things will change as you get older, too.
I'm 45 years old, so I've seen lots of things change, in my own time, with WOMEN, regardless of race.

Peace,

Polly

Answer 6

You're not racist, however, the multiple bad occurrences that you have endured with Hispanic females have conditioned you to dislike them, especially since this is the only ethnicity that you have experienced this with. I think the only way for you to get this "dislike" out of your mind is if you meet a Hispanic woman who is the opposite of what you have experienced.

Answer 7

I really wish people like you would stop seeing people only as a skin color.

It is sad that there are still people who look only at the color of a persons skin and that is enough to cause them such anger or hatred.

Why not take a freakin' clue......it's not the WHITE woman's fault here........your dad was an idiot who made a serious mistake, but it would have been equally terrible had he done it with a black, asian, hispanic, russian, WHATEVER kind of woman. it wasn't bad BECAUSE he did it with a white girl, it has nothing to do with the color of her or any other white woman's skin.

GIVE US A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else get what she slipped in.......she says white girls are "easy" yet HER feelings are hurt? What about the millions of white girls you just insulted.

Answer 8

I think it's really sad if you go through life "strongly disliking" an entire group of people because of your own insecurities.

I don't mean that to be rude, but you admitted that you feel insecure and unwanted and unloved, and why turn that into hate against a group of people who can't help being white any more than you can help being black? Instead, why don't you focus on the positive things about yourself that people do love, regardless of whether they're based on race or not?

That is far better than essentially hating an entire group of people because of their skin color and because of the way your own race treats black women--which really has nothing at all to do with white women. Why blame them?

Answer 9

Understand that your feelings would be no different had your father left your family for a black woman HE STILL LEFT THE FAMILY.
I'm sorry that you hate us all, becuase we don't want that.

I know plenty of white and black men that would consider you golden seeing as you are middle class and educated. Don't make your "issues" a racial battle. Black women are beautiful and you should know that.

Answer 10

im sure ur not alone. i know a lot of black girls that hate white girls.