Loneliness.. a feeling you cant deny
longing to see.. you try not to cry
you want to break away
you want to leave
you are so fragile
your heart feels weak
you are longing to see
you pray for the night to be over
you miss being real
you can never run away from this
its impossible to leave
you need to find your real
you want to find your answer
you try and break free
your're getting in your way
set yourself free
you'll get your day
set yourself free..
2007-02-05 08:50:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I want to thank you for writing this poem. You may be looking for criticism, but I have nothing negative to say about it. I love your poem because it expresses what many of us feel now.
Thankyou for putting it into words it's beautiful.
2007-02-05 12:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by xREDrawr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok, wondering the meaning behind be real. Being lonely is a feeling and you should not deny it. You are correct. You are who you are and no one can take that away. I think you have real potential here. www.poetry.com has contests you can enter. I don't think they really pay out but it is a place to put your poems so you can share them with others. I have several there. Enjoy writing, it is a gift.
2007-02-05 09:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by lost angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think is very good, and if that is you and your poem I will said you are in your way to find your self and perhaps soon to begin creating your own little moments of reality, in the 12 line to make this apply to me, I would have said, "you need to find your self", and in the following line I will need to say, "You want to find an answer", that is me, to you a very positive criticism.
2007-02-05 09:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by paradiseemperatorbluepinguin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great. I would try to enter that in a poetry contest. I read allot of poetry and you definitely have talent. Good luck.
2007-02-05 08:56:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. Watch your (you're, your, your're) misspellings. The rhythm seems a little off, but what do I know...
2007-02-05 09:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by Heywood J Helpaguy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nice u have talent devlop it write some more
2007-02-05 09:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by sniper 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋