Is it normal to be jealous of someone's achievements or is that a personality problem?

Question

There's this woman I don't have anything against personally, although she was always a bit standoffish with me when I knew her, but it bothers me that whenever I achieved some important goal that I struggled for in my life as an artist, I had to hear how she did something similar, but with more success and at a much younger age. She has now gone on to do more "important" things and is a totally brilliant scholar, which I am not, and is now married while I am single. Although she is far away, is it okay to tell my friend to stow it when she talks about her, or does that just sound really petty?! My friend isn't intending to compare us on purpose, she's just still overwhelmed by the greatness of this woman I guess.

Answer 1

I think you have to always spin a positive from a negative.

You have admitted yourself that you find this woman more successful in many ways than you. Well okay, she might be.

Think more of why you think she is more successful. You'll can learn from other peoples mistakes but also their successes.

Also you have to remember life is a lottery. Some people are born more privileged, some peoples lives are changed by yes/no decisions, some peoples lived are changed in random circumstance. We all just have to do the best we can, in order be in the right places at the right times, then hope for the best.

Answer 2

First of all, it is normal to be jealous of others as long as we don't become immersed in it. But, it sounds like you have problems with self-esteem and confidence with this particular situation. Just because someone else excels in something and you don't does not mean you are not good or competent. It can be hard to see someone else succeed in the area we wish we could, but that doesn't mean we won't succeed or that we can't; it just may be that we succeed in a different way or time. Success often comes from self-confidence and often the difference between those who succeed and those who fail is the degree of persistence. Successful people have failed in some things just like everyone else - its part of life - but they keep at it. sometimes they really struggle and sometimes things come easy, but maybe you haven't found the right place for you to use your skills. You will if you persist.

Answer 3

well I think it is normal to feel that way just so long as you are not mean spirited out loud about it.You feel what you feel,but the rest of the world doesnt have to know it.Just make sure you feel this way for the right reasons.I mean if it bothers you this much then maybe you subconsiencly feel the need to make some changes in your life.I dont know cause I dont know you .But if that is not the case then I say dont worry about it. YOu sound like you are trying awfully hard to be a great person and I give you a thumbs up for that.

Answer 4

Your feelings are normal. It's just that most people won't admit to feeling this way, because it makes you look petty and jealous. You know what? It also makes you human. So, just try to put this woman out of your mind and focus on yourself and the people in your life. And who knows? Although it seems as though this woman has everything, life is often not what it seems. The grass always appears to be greener on the "other side", but seldom is.

Answer 5

You are unique. There is no one else like you in the entire universe. In honor of your unique self, it is good to acknowledge and embrace the special qualities that make you the person that you are. One way to do this is to not compare yourself with other people.

It is human nature to want to see how we measure up in comparison to others - especially if we think that they are better than us or have more of something that we want. Yet the truth is that it is not a good use of time to compare ourselves with others because there is no one like us and this makes us incomparable. It is sometimes almost easier to look outside of ourselves and feel like we are deficient in comparison to other people rather than taking responsibility for our own progress in relation to the fulfillment of our life purpose. It actually takes more courage to be self-referential and look at ourselves to see whether we are measuring up to our standards or meeting our full potential. Each of us has very special gifts, and we are here for very specific reasons. We each have a life purpose to fulfill and with this come the lessons that we must learn and the circumstances that we must go through in order to evolve as spiritual beings. To compare our lives to other people's lives when we have no idea of what they are here to learn or fulfill doesn't benefit anyone - especially you.

Instead, if we can accept ourselves, appreciate the special talents and qualities that we alone possess, and realize that each of us is going through certain kinds of experiences for a reason, we are less likely focus so much on what other people have or are doing. Realizing and valuing our uniqueness enables us to bring out the best in ourselves so we can get on with living rather than preoccupying ourselves with meaningless comparisons. Try to not compare yourself to others, and you will see how much you have and how special you are.!..

Answer 6

It's definitely not a personality problem here. At least, not YOUR personality. It's very normal to be miffed when you have someone else's greatness costantly rubbed in your face. I don't think it's impolite to ask your friend not to mention this other one so much. (Though I don't know if a command to "stow it" would be quite as polite. ^_^) Explain to your friend how it makes you feel when she does this, and if she cares for you, I'm sure she'll stop.

Answer 7

Jealousy can become destructive and its poisonous, in the other hand I will prefer the word envy, which I once was of many things, and I steal I'm, when I read in some groups I'm part of in the web, about facts and prove of their theories about the non-existence of God, though I know that such envy protect my self, not to say more of what I need to say to prove to my own self, what I need to prove about his existence?, So, as a rule of thumb, what won't kill you, will make you Strong.

Answer 8

What you are talking about is known as a character disorder!! When this occurs, you blame everyone else for your problems rather than taking care of things yourself. It is a sign of unhappiness and low self-esteem. Generally this person probably knows that they are capable of great things, but are too lazy for whatever reason, to go out and do something about it. Think of any good sized family- and look at the younger ones- have you ever noticed that if the younger kids get married or have kids or are successful, the older ones either get mad or jealous, or use it as fuel to get off their butts and do something to help themselves?