but he still lives with me&my son till he can get his own place,next month..but i found pictures of him and a lady in the house of my in-laws..meaning..he already introduced the next "wifey" to his parents..and the divorce paper is not yet done..i know its over between us, but when i saw the girl together with my inlaws..i was totally shocked..and my inlaws didnt even bothered to call me or ask bout anythin,..knowin that thier son still lives with me..i feel so devastated,,what should i do??he didnt know that i saw the pics tho..should i tell him that i saw the pics??just a lil help pls..
2007-02-05 08:36:16 · 25 answers · asked by spike 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You found pictures of him and "a lady" in your in-laws' house. Maybe she was his sister you never met, or his long-lost cousin. I don't see why you jumped to the conclusion that some woman you've never seen before is his next wife.
2007-02-05 08:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, they probably didn't tell you because it is his place to tell you about those things.
Honestly, it doesn't matter if the divorce is final or not, the first time you know the other person has moved on, it stings a little. I initiated our divorce, and am much happier now that we are no longer together. A few months after all was final, I was dropping the kids off at her house on Sun. evening. I found out she had been gone the whole weekend. I didn't really think about it, until my oldest asked if she and (new guy's name) had fun on their trip. Even though I am over her, and happier now, it was an awkward moment.
So, it's going to sting a little. You just have to foget about it, and move on with your life. Some do this quicker than other. I have been divorced for nearly a year, and still have not started dating again. Just not in the mood for it right now. She has obviously moved on. Either way, it isn't really your business, other than ensuring whomever he bring s around the children is a good person. The same goes for you when you finally start dating again. That is the only thing I told my ex. I don't know who this guy is, and don't really care. But, make sure he is someone you think is ok for the kids to be around.
2007-02-05 08:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot do anything, he has moved on with his life and is allowed to have pictures at his parents house if he so chooses to do so. Even though you and your ex husband are still living under the same roof until he can find his own place and the divorce papers are not still finalized, this is not give you the right in matters such as this. The marriage is over, the courts give 6 months for each party to contest the divorce. Now, if he displayed the pictures in your home, then this would be a different matter. For your own sake, just learn to let go. It is hard at first, but in time you will find it more easy. Much luck to you!
2007-02-05 08:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell this LOOSER you saw those pictures and just be satisfied knowing you were not the a**hole!
As for the in laws covering, this is soooooooooo typical!
Hopefully you two don't have kids... Reguardless, THROW HIM OUT. NOW!
TODAY! Pack his sh*t and set it outside, he can CLEARLY go live or stay with mommy or this new b*tch! (don't let him tell you otherwise, I live with an idiot now who has a HUGE family and yet me and the kids always get tossed on the streets.... BS!)
Don't tolerate that, it's done, it's over, THROW him out b4 he breaks you down any more mentally.
And if you can't bring yourself to confronting him without loosing your temper which of course is what they all want, then write the bastard a note and tape it to his TRASHBAGS of crap and just say I seen the pics and I am soooooooo thankful this marriage is over!
It seems the more stories I read on here, the more discouraged I get from believing that good men and inlaws exsist.
Good Luck, Stay strong and have the hope and faith that one day your knight in shining armour will treat you like the princess each woman deserves to be treated as!
2007-02-05 08:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since this new "lady friend" has met your in-laws it must be something more than a one-time date. I think he is using you and is not setting the right example for your son. What if he decides to bring this lady to your house in front of your son - that would be very strange for him I'm sure. I would kindly ask him to leave. You have been more than respectful however it is not respectful to (still be living with you) while having his new fling meet the inlaws. It is not respectful of you to do that while he is still living under your roof. Tell him since he has crossed the lines, he needs to leave. He can always go to her house or his parents house and play his games there. Just think, you are giving this guy a place to live when his girlfriend is off free of hands! She can pay for him! Good Luck! And don't turn your head, you have the right to kick him out!
2007-02-05 08:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by Tonya B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately theres not a whole lot you can do here that falls under being legal. Its too bad you found the pictures but Im afraid theyre doing more damage to you then you ever could do to them. Your ex in laws probably thought it better to leave it alone as it would have done more damage and served no real purpose telling you. They probably appreciate you for what youre doing for their son so they hid everything and probably loads more from you sparing your feelings. To them they felt that this was the best thing to do hoping you wouldnt find out. Your best bet is to just forget these pictures and move on, being the bigger and better person for doing nothing. Good luck
2007-02-05 09:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the divorce is in process and you both know that it's over - does it really matter that he's dating? I know it hurts, I'm not trying to be insensitive, but it's the truth. It's going to happen, even if it's sooner than you think or want.
Having gone through a divorce myself, I highly recommend the following:
1. make him leave! if you are keeping the place, then it's not his. He should get out. Where he lives is not your problem. Just tell him that you need for him to be out of the house by x date. If he's moving in one month, then assure that in one month he's out. Put it in writing, then after that one month: CHANGE the LOCKS!!!
2. assure the two of you have clear boundries when it comes to visitation, etc regarding your son. as much as you can have clearly laid out the better.
3. Assume that his family has heard only his side of the story and only cares about his side of the story. They aren't trying to be mean, just supportive of their son. You would most likely do the same. They probably don't dislike you, but they love their son more.
4. As stated above in #2 - assure everything between the two of you has clear boundries. Whether he decides to adhere to them or not, you should. This includes not being involved with him - it will only make it worse for you.
5. Move on. It's hard - try to get counseling. However, I promise - the sooner you truly accept that it's over and done with, the sooner it won't hurt as bad.
Good luck, doll :).
2007-02-05 09:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by Neenah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why were you devastated? Those are his parents and the 2 of you are getting a divorce he's already moved on and that's what you must do the only truly important thing is your son and what he does now is really not your business anymore unless it affects the child. Divorce sucks but it happens and that's life so move on and find someone else that will love you and your son.
2007-02-05 08:51:42 · answer #8 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point, I wouldn't "rock the boat" by bringing up issues that really don't have to be issues. Your marriage to him is over, let him be. Do, however, give him a DEFINITE move-out date. Do not be flexible on this. The next "wifey" was probably in process while he was still married to you but at least now you're rid of the headache and he's off to be someone else's problem. The trouble with in-laws is that they can sometimes play the same childish games that the ex-spouse chooses to play. Don't bring yourself down to their level. You have more diginity and self worth than that. Hold your head up, take as much time as necessary to get over whatever feelings you may still have for him, get yourself back in the game and find someone who will love you for your wonderful self!
:)
2007-02-05 08:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by Carlover29 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U just keep going his job nor lack of child support shouldnt hold u back from getting the divorce, if he quit his job intentionally, u can let the courts know this, and because this is a game that is commonly played..the judge usually will want to see a W2 or pay stub of the Job he quit because that shows the cabability to earn that much.. As far as u having the kids covered , u can request..that if u have to have the kids on ur policy that he has to pay not only half of the premiums, but also half of all co-pays.. Then u have it to where he has to pay you through the courts and not directly to u..that way when he doesnt pay they go after him, and u dont have to try and come up with more money to take him back to court every time he decides not to pay.. He's trying to use the kids as baragining chips because thats all he has that can work on ur emotions..dont let him.. u stay ur course, dont cower to him..and u do everything possible to protect the well being of your childeren .. Good luck..
2016-03-29 06:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get a place of his own. You say he lives with you and your son...is the boy his too? If not, then it's time for him to go and find his own place and get on with his life and you to do the same.
If you and his parents got along, then I'm sure they are in a very uncomfortable position. They feel loyal to their son, but it doesn't mean that they like what he's doing.
Think you may need to chat with him soon and say, ok, since you've moved on and things are almost done, it's time to cut the cord completely. JMHO.
Good luck.
2007-02-05 08:42:31 · answer #11 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋