I've been married for a year, found out my hubby was logging into dating chatzones etc?

Question

To the answers on my previous questions.It has been over a month that I have prayed to God, I have prayed for my husband, and prayed for our marriage, everyday I ask God to lead me in the direction that He wants me to go. I ask this of Him everyday, and I trust in Him.I must say that through this difficult time, I have grown closer to Him. I have spoken to my husband, I have given him a chance to prove himself, but he is carrying on with his own ways. My husband doesnt think what he did is wrong, which means the message is not getting through...A pastor will only tell you to get divorced if he thought it was the right thing to do.The only reason for me seeking advice on this zone is to get a clear picture on what other people's advice may be for my situation. Thank you

Answer 1

I agree with you. Hang in there.

I have more to say... God and prayer can only go so far.

If the person you are married to doesn't get it and is still violating you and your relationship then you need to leave.

It will lead to cheating and if he has cheated before, then he will again.

I believe in god and prayer, but I feel that too often we use god and prayer as an excuse to be lazy in doing what we know we should do. We think that prayer is goign to fix it, when maybe it wont. Maybe the deal is already broken, we know this and we just arent ready to face the truth, so we hang onto what little hope we have, a prayer and god.

You have given him a chance to prove himself and he hasn't. God will help you, but your husband is still the ultimate decision maker of his own life. Your husband has made his choice, as you stated, "he is carrying on with his own ways." Now you need to decide if you are willing to accept this or leave the relationship.

Good luck to you, I know it hurts but be strong. A relationship is 2 sided and you cant force someone to do something they dont want to do, they have to be willing. No matter how much you pray, the choice is still up to your husband to go onto chat sites, not god.

Just remember, god will get you through it, but man's free choice will decide his ultimate fate.

Answer 2

You are doing the right thing.. Keep praying for him and for direction.
First, exercise grace in your relationship. Forgiveness releases the Holy Spirit to move in your situation. Forgive always, 7 x 70 is only the starting point.
The Fruit of the Holy Spirit is a gift from the Holy Spirit, i.e.. it is not something you can do on your own. Be available.
Your Husband will eventually see the transformation in your life and your devotion. It will be up to him to decide to accept or reject Christs forgiveness.
You can exercise Grace and still hold him accountable for his actions. Let the Lord help.

Answer 3

Well if he isn't really cheating then it isn't all that serious but you should check that out a little more to make sure thats all he is doing. Because you don't want to divorce him for a dumb reason and just know that God will give you a sign about what to do. Just keep asking Him to show you the things you can't see and He will show it to you in a magnificent way.

Answer 4

The marriage involves the both of you. Your husband has to realize what he did is wrong, stop doing it, and beg for your forgiveness and the forgiveness of God for defying the sanctity of the marriage. However, it goes much deeper than that. He needs to seek counseling for himself and the two of you certainly need marital counseling. His counseling will certainly have to be done by a professional counselor, but the marital counselor can be done by a pastor though I recommend that the pastor have credentials in counseling.

But in the scheme of things, if you're husband is unwilling to admit that he is wrong and do his part to save the marriage, divorce is most likely the outcome. However, if he refuses counseling, please undertake counseling for yourself. Being under similar circumstances in my past, it took counseling for myself to see that it wasn't my fault and to help facilitate the needed healing and understanding to move forward with my life.

Answer 5

Since you've already voiced your concerns to your husband, whether he thinks it's wrong or not, he should cease. He has you and should not be going into any dating chatzones. He's not available to "date." This is cheating.

Since you've only been married a year, I hope you're able to convey to him just how serious you are about this. He's showing a marked lack of commitment to you, by simply dismissing your concerns. What does he think will happen if he continues?

What would he think if YOU went into a dating site?

I wish you well.

Answer 6

If your husband thinks what he did was perfectly ok and isn't at all guilty that doesn't show he cares about you. He is not caring at all about your feelings and that is wrong. Ask yourself if you want to try to work on your marriage to someone who obviously has no concept of MARRIAGE. Keep praying you'll get your answers soon enough.

Answer 7

Pray and ask God to reveal to Him what he is doing is ruining your marriage. And remember if God haven't gave you direction on this matter, just continue to stand on His word. Ask god to change your husband's heart. When waiting on God it requires patience. I once heard someone say, i don't mind the patient part, but I just hate the waiting part. The hardest thing to do is wait on God, b/c we want everything done in our timing. But you must have faith....I know it's hard with different emotions pulling you in all different directions, but God is not moved by emotions, He is moved by Faith. You have done all ou can do, now let God do His thing. A lot of times we ourselves get in the way of what God wants to do in somebody elses life.

Answer 8

Maybe you need to spend a little less time with God, and more time with your husband, after only a year and he is going to dating sites, your marriage is doomed unless you talk to your husband and find out what is missing in the relationship for him, you can keep praying and ignoring the problem or get involved and save your marriage!!

Answer 9

He is looking for something...... maybe something that is lacking at home or maybe just he needs more then you can give. He could be looking for attention - Comments on his looks and etc that boost his ego .. men like that just like women do. This is not something to divorce over ... just something you need to work through. Pay him more attention and give him compliments and heat things up behind closed doors and see if anything changes.

Answer 10

I am sorry this is so upsetting for you.Maybe hubby does not intend on acting on any of his actions and is just looking for a little excitement.Is he getting the excitement he needs and wants.I know I am not and take pleasure in talking to women that are a lot wilder that my spouse.But I dont cheat.Good Luck.I wonder what he is missing.