i basically lied to my boyfriend about my whole life, the lies didnt really effect him but he thought whole my whole backround was something different than it really was(for example i told him my mom abandonded me)...he caught me in a few big lies but even when he caught me i still didnt admit to it fully (for example when i told him about being abandonded by my mom i said i was homeless for 5 years when i was little, then when he caught me i told him i was just staying with friends most of the time and only on the street every once in a while, when thruthfully i was never abandonded at all) finally last night he caught me in another lie and i confessed to him about everything...so were trying to figure out how i can get help to stop lying, what can i do?
2007-02-05 07:52:27 · 10 answers · asked by CeCe 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
also sometimes when im lying i actually believe them
2007-02-05 07:55:45 · update #1
This is clearly due to some issues that you have that need to be worked on -- I can only suggest that you get into counseling and look at what makes you lie like this -- what are you hoping to get from this? It sounds like more than simply an ethical problem, although I think you know that lying gets in the way of good relationships like nothing else can. It's worth trying to get to the root of the problem about why you feel it's necessary to lie about yourself to someone you care about. As part of the process, I would admit to your boyfriend that you have this problem and try to tell him what you have lied about and what the truth is. Apologize and tell him you know you have a big problem and you don't want to be like this any more. Ask him to support you in your efforts to get to the root of the problem. Be aware that he may already have figured out you're a liar, but he may not realize how much you lie about. It really makes trust difficult. Can you imagine how you'd feel if you found out you couldn't believe half the stuff he says? It's very disorienting not to know what the truth is about someone. This is going to take some professional help -- you've said enough to make me think that you do indeed have a troubled background.
2007-02-05 07:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by Corinnique 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to stop lying is to start telling the truth regardless of how you feel after you've done it. Include a few self imposed penalties when you deviate, like going out barefooted to an important event, or starving yourself for a whole day, or not having a bath for a week. That should bring you in line. Be firm with the penalties and don't attempt to cheat as you're used to.
2007-02-05 08:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by john R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to tell the story you want him to hear...tell him the truth. If you and him have any chance of a future together he is going to continue to figure this stuff out. The easiest thing I could suggest is to just be honest. If he is important to you then this should be easy...if not then I would say you are probably not ready for a "truthfull relationship" with anyone.
2007-02-05 08:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by ÐIESEŁ ÐUB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you probably won't like this answer, but therapy would help. I agree with the above answerer, you need to like/love yourself better, because if you do, then you won't feel the need to embellish your life with lies. There has to be something in your past that's not very pleasant...you need to face that and deal with it, then get on with your life. You are not the only one with this problem, lots of people have this problem.
2007-02-05 07:59:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've been lying for so long it is going to take practice. Hold your tongue before answering a question. Think about it. Is what I'm saying true to the best of my knowledge? Just work at it. Good luck, babe. I know you can do it.
2007-02-05 08:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting you sound like my "X" or some others would say you sound like Slick Willy our "X" President. It was said When His Mouth was Open and words were coming out he was Lying.
2007-02-05 08:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by Scott 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not happy with being who you are, therefore you feel like you need to make up stuff. Just love your self more
2007-02-05 07:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by miriamadamswashington_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do I know you aren't lying right now?
I don't know what you can do. Maybe group therapy or individual therapy for compulsive liars
2007-02-05 08:00:49 · answer #8 · answered by Niecy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to seek professional help; see a psychiatrist.
2007-02-05 08:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by Enchanted 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CUT OFF YOUR TONGUE
2007-02-05 07:58:23 · answer #10 · answered by strike_eagle29 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋