You weparated from or divorced him or her because you did not want to live with your husband or wife anymore. So why are you trying to be friends with your ex? Why are you trying to get your ex to like you and be friendly? Why do you even use the words " I hope that we can be friends" or "Can't we be friends?"
2007-02-05 07:45:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Never have been friends with an ex. never told them that i wanted to be friends with them. To me its all or nothing and you have to be a pretty strong person to just be friends. You dated for a reason, because you where attracted to them. Once i tired that and things ya know happened and then somebody gets hurt because they take it for more than what the other person wanted it to be. I could never just be friends.
2007-02-05 07:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by rain9439 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there are children involved, I can certainly understand a couple still wanting some kind of friendship because its a lot easier for the kids when the parents can have a friendly conversation with each other....it causes a lot let stress for all involved. And it is possible, although I would say it is in the minority, for a couple to still like each other as people, but not love them as a spouse. If a couple can split amicably, it is a good thing, but if it is a burning need to remain friends with your ex, and he/she doesnt, then I would think there would still be some unresolved issues. Every situation is different, and only the person who needs this friendship would know why? Maybe, they still have feelings for their spouse, or maybe saying I hope we can be friends, is a cop out, and a nice way of telling your spouse that you dont love them,....its called letting them down easily. Who knows why some people want to remain friends after a split.....everyone will have their own reasons, and all of them could be different.
2007-02-05 15:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on why it ended and if there are children involved. I could only be friends with one of my ex's, because we were more of a fling. There wasn't much emotional attachment. It would be too hard for me to see my ex happy with someone else, however, if there had been children involved, I would be as gracious and as compromising as I could so that the kids wouldn't feel stuck in the middle. But even then I wouldn't consider us friends, more like 2 people that agree to disagree, but are civil for the sake of the kids..............
I honestly can't think of anyone I know that remained friends with their ex's. I think it's more of something you say than you really mean. I know I said it a couple of times, but I didn't follow through. You're trying to soften the blow as much as possible I guess and then after you separate, reality sets in and you don't stay friends. That's what's happened in my life anyway.
2007-02-05 15:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree Why be friends? Unless children are involved then there is a need to be sociable/friendly but otherwise I never felt the need to be friends with ex's. if I liked them so much I would have still been with them. There is obviously a reason they are called an EX!!!!
2007-02-05 15:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by prettyfroggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because hopefully you realize that even though not all relationships work romantically, having a friend is a true blessing and perhaps you don't want to think of all the vested amount of time and energy that you already put into that relationship as a complete loss! which brings me to my question.. Why would anyone want to have broken relationships?
2007-02-05 15:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you get along better with him or her just as friends and not jealous that when your out with him or her that you will get hit on, maybe? i know i would but im married now. we use those words so that we have something to say and leave it to something nice rather then bad words and later we regretted what we said. maybe we really have feelings for our ex's and still want to hold on to them? i know that, that is the reason i may be friends with my ex and some ex's dont matter to me.
2007-02-05 15:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by americansugar80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer
(I did not make that up it is an old african proverb)
anywhoo I think that the ex knows that you have the unique power and ability to make life hell for that person so lets try to be civil!
If there are kids involved it is quite healthy for them too!
2007-02-05 15:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i liked him at first for a reason - just because i don't wanna have a romantic relationship - doesn't mean i hate him - he was fun, funny and i learn to forgive - i don't see the big deal really - we just figured out we don't want the same things in life.
i'm friends w/ three of my exes - one was 4yrs, one was 8yrs and the last was 5yrs - - never married - i'm too smart for that -
they all did ask though.
also - i am friends w/ their new loves.
2007-02-05 15:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by tirebiter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would never be friends with an ex and who ever says there friends with an ex is a liar cuz you only staying friends with them just to try to get back with he or she...which I'm sure it will never happen and if they do go back its just like friends with benefits
2007-02-05 15:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by cyndi m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still friends with my ex-bf, we ended on a good note, so I dont see why you cant still be friends, especially if there was no cheating, or stuff like that
2007-02-05 15:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by diva 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋